"BALL BREAKER"

By

Josh Becker

Story By
Josh Becker
Scott Spiegel


EXT. THE LUCKY SPOT SALOON - NIGHT

The Lucky Spot Saloon is a ratty little dive of a bar.  One car sits alone in the parking lot.  The old neon sign for the bar, which has two pink martini glasses with bubbles floating out of them, sputters, buzzes and goes dark.

A moment later three distant figures emerge from the bar.  It becomes clear very quickly that two of the people, the BARTENDER and the WAITRESS, are trying to get the third drunken person, JOE, to go home.

                                                                 JOE
                                Come on, jus' one more.

                                                                 BARTENDER
                                No, Joe, no more.  Time to go home.

                                                                 JOE
                                Come on, jus' one more for the road.

                                                                 WAITRESS
                                Joe, you can't even see the road.  Will you go home.

                                                                 JOE
                                Fuck home.  Ain't nothin' at home.  Come on, you
                                guys, have a heart.  Jus' one more little one for the
                                road.

At that moment Joe bends over and barfs.

                                                                 BARTENDER
                                There's your one for the road, Joe, or the parking
                                lot, as the case may be.

The Bartender and the Waitress drag Joe to the one car in the lot, put him in the driver's seat and slam the door shut.

                                                                 WAITRESS
                                He shouldn't be driving.

                                                                 BARTENDER
                                Driving?  With the amount he drank, he shouldn't be
                                breathing.

The Bartender and the Waitress go back inside the bar to finish closing.  The one car sits in the parking lot all by itself.

                                                                                                       DISSOLVE:

EXT. RATTY APARTMENT BUILDING - MORNING

This is a run-down, five-story tenement apartment building in a bad part of town.  Derelicts loiter on the sidewalk in front and several blacks and Latinos hang out on the front steps.  In the alley beside the building two long-haired guys work on the engine of a car, revving it as high as it will go.

INT. APARTMENT - MORNING

Inside a crummy-looking apartment with cracked plaster and old, yellowed drapes.  The furniture is old and mostly broken.  Old newspapers litter the floor.  Lying on an army cot against the wall is FRANK TAYLOR, a flat-faced, short muscular guy in his early thirties.  His eyes are squished tightly shut and his hands hold the sides of his head.  He's in pain.  The sound of the engine revving in the alley is very loud, then goes silent.  The tension in Frank's face eases slightly.  The phone rings.  Frank bolts to his feet and shaking his pounding head steps over to the phone.

                                                                 FRANK
                                                           (to himself)
                                Now what?
                                                           (answers phone; annoyed)
                                What?

He hears the hurried, whispered voice of IVAN.

                                                                 IVAN (O.S.)
                                Frank?  It's Ivan.

                                                                 FRANK
                                                           (smiles)
                                Ivan.  How the hell are you?

                                                                 IVAN (O.S.)
                                Look, I haven't got much time.  Get a pencil.
                                                           (Frank looks around)
                                You got it?

                                                                 FRANK
                                I'm looking.

                                                                 IVAN (O.S.)
                                                           (stern)
                                Get it!

Frank digs around on the table through a mess of fast food wrappers and a plethora of aspirin, buprofen and acetaminophen bottles (Thrifty, CVS, Norwich, etc.) and finds a pencil stub and looks relieved.

                                                                 FRANK
                                OK, Jesus.  What is it?

                                                                 IVAN (O.S.)
                                You're gonna meet a guy named Carlos tomorrow
                                at ten A.M. on the beach, just south of the pier,
                                where you and me used t' hang out, remember?

                                                                 FRANK
                                'Course I do.  What's this all about?

                                                                 IVAN (O.S.)
                                Just listen.  He's comin' in on a boat and he'll flash ya
                                with a mirror.  Flash him back.  He's gonna give you
                                a package.  Give him five grand.

                                                                 FRANK
                                                           (shocked)
                                Five grand?  Are you nuts?  Where'm I gonna get that?
                                I haven't even paid my rent in two months.

                                                                 IVAN (O.S.)
                                                           (firm)
                                Get it! I don't care what ya do, just get it!  Then, once
                                you got it take it to Lon Stracks, 605 West Houston,
                                number 206.  You got all this?


                                                                 FRANK
                                                           (writing)
                                Yeah, yeah. I got it.  Don't get pissed at me, Iv, my
                                head's killin' me.

                                                                 IVAN (O.S.)
                                                           (concerned)
                                You takin' your medication?

                                                                 FRANK
                                No, I can't fuckin' afford it.  It's fifty bucks for ten
                                of 'em.

Frank dumps out a handful of ibuprofen and washes them down with the remains of an old McDonald's Coke.  He winces and shakes his head.

                                                                 IVAN (O.S.)
                                Ya see, you need this deal as much as me.  And I
                                fuckin' need it bad.  My ass is gonna be grass in
                                here if I don't get some protection money and fast.

                                                                 FRANK
                                Protection?  From what?

                                                                 IVAN (O.S.)
                                I got some bad-ass motherfucker out for my blood.
                                The guy's got no sense of humor at all.  Look, I
                                haven't got time to explain right now.  Just do this
                                deal, Frank, we both need the cash.  We'll split the
                                hundred grand fifty-fifty.

                                                                 FRANK
                                                           (amazed)
                                A hundred grand?  What's in this package?  Diamonds?

                                                                 IVAN (O.S.)
                                                           (whispering)
                                What the hell do you think it is, you moron, wake up.

                                                                 FRANK
                                                           (offended)
                                Hey!  Don't you call me a moron.  I'm not the one
                                askin' a favor and I'm not the one in the joint, either.

                                                                 IVAN (O.S.)
                                OK, all right.  I'm sorry.  Just do this thing, Frank.
                                Get it done.  Don't let me down.  Just remember,
                                this is the opportunity of a lifetime.

                                                                 FRANK
                                                           (unsure)
                                Five grand, I don't know . . .

                                                                 IVAN (O.S.)
                                                           (getting desperate)
                                Rob a fuckin' gas station, you done it before.

                                                                 FRANK
                                Yeah, but I never got no five grand.  Most I ever
                                got was five hundred.

                                                                 IVAN (O.S.)
                                                           (impatient)
                                Then hit ten gas stations.  Work it out.  I gotta
                                go.

                                                                 FRANK
                                You gonna be OK?

                                                                 IVAN (O.S.)
                                If you get this money I'l1 be fine.  Otherwise
                                I'm fucked.

                                                                 FRANK
                                I understand, Iv.  I'l1 get it.

                                                                 IVAN (O.S.)
                                See ya, Frank.  Don't blow it.

                                                                 FRANK
                                I won't.  See ya.

                                                                 IVAN (O.S.)
                                Bye.

Ivan hangs up.  Frank stands there holding the receiver and shakes his throbbing head.

                                                                 FRANK
                                Where am I gonna get five grand?

The engine revving starts again and gets progressively louder and louder.  Frank rubs his temples, his face twisting into an ugly knot.

                                                                 FRANK
                                Jesus fuckin' Christ!  Stop with that noise!

Frank goes to the window and sticks his head out.

EXT. ALLEY - MORNING

The two LONG-HAIRED GUYS are just revving away and don't see Frank looming over them.

                                                                 FRANK
                                                           (hollering)
                                Hey!  Assholes!  Shut the fuck up!

The long-haired guys look up, unconcerned.

                                                                 LONG-HAIR #1
                                Screw you.

Frank eyes go wide with insane fury.  He disappears inside.  Both long-hair guys shrug and are just about to return to their engine work when Frank reappears.  He is holding an enormous old TV set.

                                                                 FRANK
                                Wrong fuckwads!  Screw you!

He drops the TV set on the roof of the car.  The roof caves in and the TV implodes.

Both long-haired guys are shocked and furious.

                                                                 LONG-HAIR #2
                                Are you oughta your mind?

                                                                 LONG-HAIR #1
                                You're payin' for this, you little fuck, or I'm gonna kill
                                you!

Frank disappears again, then quickly returns holding a Winchester 30-30 rifle.  He cocks it, sending a loaded bullet flying into the air.  The big 30-30 bullet drops to the pavement at their feet.

                                                                 FRANK
                                You're gonna what?

Both guys back off fast.  They put their hands in the air.

                                                                 LONG-HAIR #1
                                Nothin'.

                                                                 LONG-HAIR #2
                                Yeah, nothin'.

                                                                 FRANK
                                                           (nods)
                                That's what I thought.

Frank goes back inside.  Both long-haired guys looks at each other, then at the TV set embedded in the roof of the car, then they both take off running.

                                                                                                       DISSOLVE:

EXT. THE TOWN OF LOMPOC - MORNING

The first rays of sunlight illuminate the small main street of Lompoc, California, population 31,000.  There are ten businesses located in downtown Lompoc.  Most of the storefronts look like they're from the thirties.  A few store-fronts have recently been remodeled and now look contemporary and out of place.  A blue Ford Fiesta drives up the street.

INT. FORD FIESTA - DAY

Driving the car is TED WALBURN, a thin, tall man of twenty-eight wearing a dark suit and tie.  Ted can't sit still.  He turns on the radio and gets an ANNOUNCER.

                                                                 ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
                                You're listening to KLMP, the voice of Lompoc . . .

Ted immediately changes stations.  He picks up a country/western station and changes again.  Now it's gospel.  Ted disgustedly turns the radio off.

                                                                 TED
                                Christ!  They haven't even got a decent radio station
                                in this town.

In the passenger seat is MILLIE WALBURN, a blonde, pretty, very pregnant woman of twenty-six.  She looks at Ted with a concerned expression.

                                                                 MILLIE
                                Are you sorry we moved here?

                                                                 TED
                                No.  I'm just a little bit . . . nervous.

                                                                 MILLIE
                                Well, you have every right to be.  It's your first day
                                on the job.

They drive for a moment in silence, then Ted starts to panic.

                                                                 TED
                                What if I don't cut it?  What if they don't like me?

                                                                 MILLIE
                                They'l1 like you, everybody likes you.  You're a
                                great guy.

                                                                 TED
                                                           (dejected)
                                But they'll have read my record.  No one's gonna
                                trust me.

                                                                 MILLIE
                                Ted, you're being paranoid.  We're in a new town
                                and this is a new life.

                                                                 TED
                                                           (downbeat)
                                Yeah, but my record is going to follow me wherever
                                I go.

EXT. LOMPOC POLICE STATION - DAY

The Lompoc Police station is a small, square, dark brick building with a big front window.  Ted's Feista pulls into the parking lot and stops in front of the building.  Ted gets out of the car and goes around to Millie's side.  He opens the door and helps her out of the car.  They walk around to the driver's side.  Millie turns to Ted with a serious expression.


                                                                 MILLIE
                                Ted, you made a bad decision once, you
                                don't have to pay for the rest of your life.

                                                                 TED
                                I don't know.  I hope you're right.

Millie straightens Ted's tie.

                                                                 MILLIE
                                                           (smiling)
                                I'm always right, you know that.

Ted smiles back weakly.

                                                                 TED
                                Well, here goes nothing.

Millie leans over and gives Ted a long kiss.  Two uniformed cops go past and see Ted and Millie kissing.  Ted sees them and pulls away.

                                                                 TED
                                I gotta go.

                                                                 MILLIE
                                                           (grins)
                                Rub my stomach for luck.

                                                                 TED
                                Aw, come on.

                                                                 MILLIE
                                No.  Do it.

Ted looks around; no one seems to be watching.  He rubs Millie's stomach.  Millie smiles and blows him a kiss.

                                                                 MILLIE
                                You look good in your new suit.

                                                                 TED
                                Thanks.

Millie gets in the car and drives away.  Ted sighs and heads into the police station.

INT. LOMPOC POLICE STATION - DAY

Ted enters the police station and approaches the front desk.  The female desk Sergeant's name is PAT.  She has short-cropped red hair, deep blue eyes and is attractive in a butch sort of way.  She looks up.

                                                                 PAT
                                May I help you?

                                                                 TED
                                Yes, my name's Theodore Walburn . . .

                                                                 PAT
                                Yes, Mr. Walburn?

                                                                 TED
                                Actually, it's Detective Lieutenant Walburn.
                                I'm the new detective assigned here.

                                                                 PAT
                                                           (smiling)
                                Hi.  I'm Sergeant Pat Siegel . . .
                                                           (she holds out her
                                                           hand and they shake)
                                . . . but Pat'll be fine.

                                                                 TED
                                I'm Ted.

                                                                 PAT
                                If you'll excuse me, Ted, you seem pretty young
                                to be a Lieutenant.  How old are you?

                                                                 TED
                                                           (embarrassed)
                                I'm twenty-nine . . . well, twenty-eight actually, I'll
                                be twenty-nine in three months.

                                                                 PAT
                                                           (reassuring)
                                Oh, so you just look young.  I'm only twenty-eight
                                myself . . .well, twenty-nine.
                                                           (they both smile)
                                You probably want to go see Captain Uto and check
                                in.

                                                                 TED
                                                           (hesitant)
                                Yeah, sure, uh . . . what's he like?

Pat picks up the receiver on the switchboard beside her and pushes a button.

                                                                 PAT
                                He's all right, you'll see.  Just don't make him
                                mad.
                                                           (into telephone)
                                Captain Uto, there's a Detective Lieutenant
                                Walburn here to see you . . . Yes sir.
                                                           (she hangs up)
                                Go right in.

Ted crosses his fingers.  Pat smiles and buzzes him through to the inner main office.

INT. MAIN OFFICE - DAY

Ted passes ten desks with uniformed and plain-clothes police men and women at work. He arrives at a frosted glass door with "Captain Thomas Uto" stenciled on it.  Ted straightens his tie and jacket.  Two plain clothes COPS are watching Ted.  They exchange a grin.  Ted is about to knock on the Captain's door when a booming voice comes from within.

                                                                 CAPTAIN (O.S.)
                                I see you standing there, come in already!

Both cops shakes their heads and look away.  Ted gulps and goes in.

INT. CAPTAIN UTO'S OFFICE - DAY

CAPTAIN THOMAS UTO is sixty years old, has short steely gray hair, wears a dark suit and an intense expression.  He has a file open on his desk.

                                                                 CAPTAIN
                                                           (reading)
                                Detective Lieutenant Theodore Walburn.
                                What on Earth brings you to Lompoc?

Ted looks over at the chair, but makes no move toward it.

                                                                 TED
                                My wife wanted to move here.

                                                                 CAPTAIN
                                So you left the San Fransisco P.D. to come
                                here?  Does your wife make all the decisions
                                in your family?

Ted grows embarrassed and flushes red.  He shifts his weight uncomfortably.

                                                                 TED
                                Well, no . . . We just felt -

                                                                 CAPTAIN
                                -Are you going to sit down or not?

                                                                 TED
                                Of course, I -

Ted sits down.

                                                                 CAPTAIN
                                Listen, Lieutenant Walburn.  For such a small
                                population, Lompoc has an unusually high crime
                                rate.  There's a Federal prison located here, which
                                accounts for some of it, but certainly not all.  We've
                                lost three police officers in the last two years.  I
                                don't intend to lose any more.  Is that clear?

                                                                 TED
                                Yes sir.

                                                                 CAPTAIN
                                Good.  You'll be working with officer Joseph
                                Brubaker.  He's been on the force for a long time,
                                he'll show you the ropes.

Captain Uto pushes a button on his telephone and speaks into the intercom.

                                                                 CAPTAIN
                                                           (into phone)
                                Send in officer Brubaker.

                                                                 PAT (O.S.)
                                He's not in yet, Captain.


                                                                 CAPTAIN
                                                           (outraged)
                                What?

                                                                 PAT (O.S.)
                                He called and said he had a flat tire.  He should
                                be here any minute.

                                                                 CAPTAIN
                                When he arrives tell him I want to see him immediately.
                                                           (he disconnects and
                                                           turns back to Ted)
                                Do you have any questions?

                                                                 TED
                                No sir.

                                                                 CAPTAIN
                                Good.  You can go.  Welcome to Lompoc,
                                Walburn.

                                                                 TED
                                                           (stands)
                                Thank you, Captain.

Ted starts to leave.

                                                                 CAPTAIN
                                One other thing . . .
                                                           (Ted stops)
                                It says in your file that you have some difficulty
                                deciding when to fire your weapon.

Ted freezes.  He knew this was coming.

                                                                 TED
                                I don't have any difficulty deciding when to
                                shoot.

                                                                 CAPTAIN
                                Then what's the explanation about this incident
                                in San Francisco?

                                                                 TED
                                I didn't have a clear shot.  There were innocent
                                bystanders in the area.  I had to make a call and
                                I made it.

                                                                 CAPTAIN
                                                           (nodding)
                                But that's not how an observer saw it.

                                                                 TED
                                I know that.

                                                                 CAPTAIN
                                Discretion can be the better part of valor, Walburn,
                                but don't abuse it.  If you're in a situation where an
                                armed felon is escaping and you have a clear shot,
                                you damn well better take it, otherwise you'l1 be
                                outta here, too.  Got it?

                                                                 TED
                                Yes sir.

                                                                 CAPTAIN
                                                           (closing file)
                                Dismissed.

Ted leaves the Captain's office.

INT. MAIN OFFICE - DAY

As Ted comes out of the Captain's office Captain Uto yells out.

                                                                 CAPTAIN
                                Baduski!  Show officer Walburn around!

Ted shuts the door.  Cop #1 stands up from his desk.  He is BADUSKI, a big guy with a square jaw and a bald spot.  He and Ted shake hands.

                                                                 BADUSKI
                                Hi, I'm Chuck Baduski.

                                                                 TED
                                Ted Walburn.  Nice to meet you.

                                                                 BADUSKI
                                Have you got a piece?

                                                                 TED
                                Oh.  No.  I mean, I used to, but . . .

                                                                 BADUSKI
                                Well, let's go get you one.

Baduski leads Ted through a door at the back of the main office.

INT. LOCKER ROOM - DAY

The locker room is also the weapons arsenal.  Baduski goes up to a case of rifles and pistols.  He unlocks it and waves his hands over the contents.

                                                                 BADUSKI
                                Take your pick.

Ted looks at the selection.  There are: .25 caliber palm-size pistols, thin little .32's, several .38 police specials, and one rather large Colt .45.  Ted picks up the .45.

                                                                 BADUSKI
                                You've got an eye for quality.

Baduski pulls back his jacket revealing that he too has a Colt .45.  Baduski takes a leather shoulder holster from a rack on the wall and gives it to Ted.  Ted straps on the holster and puts the pistol into it.

                                                                 BADUSKI
                                So who did the Captain assign you as a partner?

                                                                 TED
                                Someone named Joseph Brubaker.

Baduski starts to laugh.

                                                                 BADUSKI
                                So you're Brubaker's new partner, huh?  Good luck.
                                Maybe you ought to take a few other weapons, just
                                In case.
                                                                 TED
                                                           (suspicious)
                                What do you mean?

                                                                 BADUSKI
                                Brubaker's our hardcase down here.  You gotta
                                look out for him.

                                                                 TED
                                How come?

                                                                 BADUSKI
                                I'm not one to talk, but Joe Brubaker has a psychotic
                                temper.  It may be partly because he drinks so much,
                                I don't know.

                                                                 TED
                                Well, why does he drink so much?

                                                                 BADUSKI
                                I can't say for sure because he doesn't talk about it.
                                I do know that he left the Los Angeles Police Department
                                about four years ago with some kind of cloud over his
                                head.  I heard he shot the Mayor's nephew.

                                                                 TED
                                He just shot the kid?

                                                                 BADUSKI
                                No one knows for sure.

                                                                 TED
                                Has anyone ever asked him?

                                                                 BADUSKI
                                No one's ever had the guts.  Anyway, the next thing
                                you know Joe Brubaker is out here in the middle of
                                nowhere with a "baditude" -- that's what I call a bad
                                attitude.  He kicked a hole in the wall over there once
                                just because he was so pissed off.  I don't remember
                                about what anymore.

Ted glances over at the wall and sees there is a discoloration where it was re-plastered.  Baduski leads Ted back into the main office.

INT. MAIN OFFICE - DAY

Baduski goes back to his desk and sits down.

                                                                 BADUSKI
                                Go talk to Pat at the desk.  She'll give you your start
                                forms to fill out.

                                                                 TED
                                Thanks a lot.

Ted starts to walk away.  Baduski turns to Cop #2 at the desk beside him.

                                                                 BADUSKI
                                Guess who his new partner is?

                                                                 COP #2
                                Don't tell me, Brubaker?

Baduski nods and they both start to laugh.  Ted glances back at the laughing cops.  He steps up behind Pat at the front desk.

                                                                 TED
                                Chuck told me to get my start forms from you.

Pat opens one of the drawers of her desk.  She removes several different forms and hands them to Ted.  She points back at the laughing cops.

                                                                 PAT
                                What are those idiots laughing about?

                                                                 TED
                                Captain Uto assigned me to be Joe Brubaker's new
                                partner.

                                                                 PAT
                                                           (nodding)
                                Oh.  Maybe you ought to start wearing a bullet-proof
                                vest.

                                                                 TED
                                Chuck says that Brubaker has a bad temper.

                                                                 PAT
                                I suppose you could say that.  I saw him get so mad
                                once he punched a hole in a guy's windshield.

                                                                 TED
                                                           (astonished)
                                Really?  I didn't think that was possible.

                                                                 PAT
                                It's possible all right.  I saw him do it.  They don't call
                                him "Ball Breaker" for nothing.

                                                                 TED
                                                           (to himself)
                                "Ball Breaker?"

The intercom beside Pat buzzes.  She pushes the button.

                                                                 PAT
                                Yes, Captain?

                                                                 CAPTAIN (O.S.)
                                Where the hell is Brubaker?!!

                                                                 PAT
                                He's on his way.

                                                                 CAPTAIN (O.S.)
                                He better be!

The Captain disconnects.  Pat keys the microphone of the big police radio beside her desk.  She speaks into the mike.

                                                                 PAT
                                Car five, come in car five.  Car five, do you
                                read me?

                                                                                                       CUT TO:

EXT. THE LUCKY SPOT SALOON - DAY

We're back at the Lucky Spot Saloon, which, in the daylight, is an even dingier little dive than it looked like at night.  There are tire tracks in the gravel from where the lone car was parked last night to where it presently sits.  We can now see that the car is a beat up black 1984 Ford LTD sitting with its rear wheels in the parking lot and its front wheels in the drainage ditch near the road.  From inside the car Pat's voice can be heard coming through the radio.

                                                                 PAT (O.S.)
                                . . . Car five, do you read me?  Please come back,
                                car five . . .

INT. JOE BRUBAKER'S CAR - DAY

Under the dashboard the Motorola police radio continues to squawk with Pat's voice.  On the front seat are many smashed empty beer cans.  The ashtray is jammed with cigarette butts and is overflowing onto the floor.

                                                                 PAT (O.S.)
                                . . . Joe, you're going to be in a lot of trouble if
                                you don't get your butt in here.  Captain Uto's on the
                                warpath . . . Joe, I know you can hear me.  I told
                                him you had a flat tire.
                                                           (now she yells.)
                                Joe!  Will you wake up for God's sake!

A hand comes over the seat from the back.  The hand begins to grope around in the litter and empty beer cans on the seat.  A wheezy cough comes from the back.

                                                                 PAT (O.S.)
                                                           (seriously)
                                . . . Joe, I really mean it.  You're gonna be in deep
                                trouble if you don't get here soon . . .

The hand locates the microphone lying in all the debris.

INT. LOMPOC POLICE STATION - DAY

Pat is on the radio.  Ted sits beside her filling out his forms and listening.  In the background, Captain Uto's door opens.  He steps out of his office and approaches Pat.

                                                                 PAT
                                                           (into microphone)
                                . . . Captain's gonna put your butt through the
                                ringer if you don't get in here . . .

Joe Brubaker's scratchy hacking voice comes through the speaker.

                                                                 JOE (O.S.)
                                Fuck the Captain!

Captain Uto steps up behind Pat.

                                                                 CAPTAIN
                                What did he say?

                                                                 PAT
                                He said he's on his way in.  He'll be here in
                                just a few minutes.

Ted hears this and grins.  Captain Uto grabs the microphone.

                                                                 CAPTAIN
                                                           (into mike)
                                Listen here, Brubaker!  If you're not sitting in my
                                office in fifteen minutes your new job's gonna be
                                crossing guard at the elementary school -- got it?!

                                                                 JOE (O.S.)
                                I'm having trouble hearing you . . . Some kind of
                                interference.

The Captain hands the microphone back to Pat.

                                                                 CAPTAIN
                                Like hell!

The Captain turns and stomps back to his office.  He goes in and slams the door.  Pat and Ted exchange a look and grin.

INT. JOE BRUBAKER'S CAR - DAY

Joe's hand drops the microphone back in the debris.  He sits up in the back seat.  JOE BRUBAKER is a big man of fifty with unkempt hair that could use a trim.  He is wearing a wrinkled dark sport coat and dark sunglasses.  His head wobbles from a hangover.  He opens the car door.

EXT. LUCKY SPOT SALOON - DAY

Joe climbs out of the car and stands up.  He rubs his aching neck and hocks a big goober.  He bends over and tries to touch his toes -- no luck, he doesn't even come close.  He climbs into the driver's seat and starts the car.  He backs out of the drainage ditch, puts it in drive and peels out of the gravel parking lot in a cloud of dust.

INT. JOE'S CAR - DAY

As Joe drives up the road he rubs his eyes and kneads the skin of his face.  He pulls a pack of camels out of his pocket, sees that it's empty, crushes it and tosses it on the floor.  He glances down at the overflowing ashtray.  He picks out a long butt, straightens it, puts it in his mouth and lights it.  This brings on a fit of coughing.  He turns and spits out the window, only the window is not open and it hits the glass.  He groans, rolls down the window and ignores the mess.  Joe glances over at the litter on the front seat.  He digs through it until he finds what he's looking for -- a full beer.  He opens the can and guzzles down the warm brew.  This is followed by a long belch.

                                                                 JOE
                                Breakfast of champions.

He finishes the beer, crushes the can and tosses it on the floor.

 

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