INT. KATE'S BASEMENT - DAY           32

Kate is busily putting laundry into the washer.  Her stomach growls and causes her to stop what she's doing.  She places a hand on her stomach and sits down on the floor.

INT. KATE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY           33

Kate's phone rings and she answers it.  She is eating a large chocolate chip cookie.

                                                                 AARON
                                                           (O.S.)
                                Did you get your period?

                                                                 KATE
                                Not yet.


Title: The next day:

INT. KATE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY           34

Kate sits before her computer eating a bowl of ice cream.  The phone rings and she answers.

                                                                 AARON
                                                           (O.S.)
                                Did you get your period?

                                                                 KATE
                                Still not yet.

                                                                 AARON
                                So then you might be pregnant.

                                                                 KATE
                                I might.

                                                                 AARON
                                Do you feel pregnant?

                                                                 KATE
                                No.  I mean, I don't know.

                                                                 AARON
                                What are you eating?

                                                                 KATE
                                Ice cream.

                                                                 AARON
                                You never eat ice cream.  You don't like ice cream.

                                                                 KATE
                                I know.

                                                                 AARON
                                Hmmmm. . . ?


Title: The next day:

INT. KATE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY           35

Kate answers the phone and she's eating a Mickey's Banana Flip.

                                                                 AARON
                                                           (O.S.)
                                So?

                                                                 KATE
                                Nope.

                                                                 AARON
                                I'm freakin' out.

                                                                 KATE
                                Aaron, remember, this is not gonna be yours,
                                it's gonna be mine.

                                                                 AARON
                                I know, I know.  But still . . .

                                                                 KATE
                                But still, what?

                                                                 AARON
                                But still, I don't know.

                                                                 KATE
                                Aaron, are you okay?  Is this whole thing going
                                to be a problem for you?

                                                                 AARON
                                No, no, I'm fine.

Title: The Next day:

INT. KATE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY           36

The phone rings and Kate answers it.  She has clearly been crying, and she smokes a cigarette.

                                                                 AARON
                                                           (O.S.)
                                So?

                                                                 KATE
                                                           (flatly)
                                I got it.

Aaron can't believe it.

                                                                 AARON
                                What?

                                                                 KATE
                                My Goddamn fucking period, that's what.  I'm not
                                pregnant.

                                                                 AARON
                                                           (crushed)
                                Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

                                                                 KATE
                                                           (surprised)
                                Are you?

                                                                 AARON
                                Yeah, well, it wasn't mine, anyway, I know, but
                                still . . .

                                                                  KATE
                                                           (nods sadly)
                                Right.  But, it didn't happen, so . . .

                                                                 AARON
                                . . . Wanna get wrecked?

                                                                 KATE
                                                           (she wasn't listening)
                                Huh?

                                                                 AARON
                                Stoned, totaled, wasted, jellied, barbecued, T-O-U
                                and B-O-D.

                                                                 KATE
                                What's that?

                                                                 AARON
                                Toast one up and burn one down.

                                                                 KATE
                                                           (smiles)
                                . . . Sure.  But, can we do it like we used to in the
                                old days, before I came up with this knuckle-headed
                                scheme?

                                                                 AARON
                                                           (reassuringly)
                                Yes, Kate, we can.  I'll be right over.

EXT. KATE'S HOUSE - NIGHT           37

Through the front window we can see the silhouettes of Kate, Aaron, Misty and Luna all dancing drunkenly to the reggae music.

                                                                                                       DISSOLVE:

INT. AARON'S HOUSE - DAY           38

Aaron enters his house, tosses his leather briefcase, and pushes the button on his flashing phone machine.  Beep.  It's Kate, coughing:

                                                                 KATE
                                                           (recorded)
                                Uh . . . Guess what?  I'm ovulating again and, uh,
                                I think we should try again.  I promise to mellow
                                out a little bit, and, uh, you can use your hands if
                                you want.  How about eight?

                                                                 AARON
                                                           (nods)
                                How about it.

He raises his hands and wiggles his fingers . . .

INT. KATE'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT           39

. . . Aaron's fingers envelope Kate's breasts through a somewhat shearer nightgown.  Once again she is on top of him on the couch, moving up and down.  Both have their eyes closed and mouths open, breathing deeply.  This one's not so fast, and a lot more passionate.

Aaron slides his hands around her waist, and slowly brings his lips to her breast.  Kate puts a hand in his way and stops him.

                                                                 KATE
                                                           (breathless)
                                No mouths.

                                                                 AARON
                                                           (also breathless)
                                Anything else I should know?  Maybe you oughtta
                                tell me now?

                                                                 KATE
                                                           (into it)
                                Don't joke.

                                                                 AARON
                                                           (smiles)
                                That's right, I'd have to use my mouth.

                                                                 KATE
                                Do me a favor and shut it, okay?

Kate's really moving, up and down, back and forth, her eyes tightly closed.  Aaron drops back on the couch and watches the show.  Kate makes every wacky face imaginable and has an orgasm.  Her entire body shudders, her head dropping straight back, and she emits a deep, deep sigh.  Kate opens her eyes and lowers her head to find Aaron grinning up at her in total fascination.

                                                                 KATE
                                                           (breathing deeply)
                                Didn't you come?

Aaron shakes his head.

                                                                 AARON
                                Uh-uh.
                                                           (he crosses his hands
                                                           behind his neck and winks)
                                But it was great watching you.  You're really some-
                                thing, Kate.  I had no idea you made so many nutty
                                faces.

                                                                 KATE
                                Thanks.  I'm really glad to hear it.
                                                           (she takes a deep breath
                                                           and shakes her head)
                                Gimme a second here . . .
                                                           (she blinks several times)
                                So, what do we do now?

                                                                 AARON
                                If the whole object is sperm, then you'd better
                                get me off.

                                                                 KATE
                                All right.

Kate closes her eyes and begins gyrating and moving all around.  She does this for a moment, then opens her eyes to find Aaron in exactly the same position, hands behind head, grinning.

                                                                 KATE
                                You're not trying.

                                                                 AARON
                                Explain the rules to me again.  Was it my hands I
                                can use, and my mouth I can't?

                                                                 KATE
                                You're using your mouth a whole lot.  Can you do
                                this or not?  We can stop anytime you'd like.


                                                                 AARON
                                No, no.  Not a problem.

Aaron puts his hands on Kate's thighs and slides them up under her nightgown.  Aaron closes his eyes and relaxes, the shit-eating grin remaining.  Kate puts her hands on top of his and goes along with it.

                                                                 AARON
                                I'll just revert to one of my old stand-by fantasies
                                that always gets me off.

                                                                 KATE
                                When you masturbate?

                                                                 AARON
                                                           (nods; eyes closed)
                                Right.  It's about me and you.  I've been using
                                it for years.

                                                                 KATE
                                                           (smiles; eyes closed)
                                Oh really?  How does it go?

Aaron and Kate are slowly getting back into it.

                                                                 AARON
                                You're in your tiger-stripe phase and me and
                                you and Beth are walking up the road . . .

AARON'S FANTASY:

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - DAY           41

Kate, in her tiger stripes, and Beth are walking along talking and smoking a joint.  Aaron walks along behind.  They hear Kate's Mom's voice.

                                                                 KATE'S MOM
                                                           (O.S.; calling out)
                                Beth!  Telephone!

Beth turns to Kate and Aaron.

                                                                 BETH
                                I'll be right back.

Beth runs off toward Kate's parents' house.

Aaron and Kate are left behind.  Kate hands him the joint and Aaron takes a hit.  As he hands it back, Kate takes Aaron's hand instead.  Kate pulls Aaron to her and kisses him hungrily . . .

INT. KATE'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT           40A

Aaron's face scrunches up as he climaxes.  Kate looks down at him on the couch in wonderment.

                                                                 KATE
                                That's it?

                                                                 AARON
                                                           (out of breath)
                                That's what?

                                                                 KATE
                                Your whole fantasy?  Beth goes in and you and
                                I kiss?

                                                                 AARON
                                No, we make love.

                                                                 KATE
                                Well, you didn't say that.

                                                                 AARON
                                I didn't have to.

                                                                 KATE
                                Well . . . Call me, okay?

                                                                 AARON
                                Okay.

Kate goes into the bedroom.

Aaron lies on the couch with a dazed expression.

                                                                 AARON
                                It gets weirder and weirder.

Aaron exits Kate's house looking perturbed.

INT. KATE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT           42

The phone beside the bed rings.  Kate pops her head out of the bathroom.

                                                                 KATE
                                Who on Earth . . . ?
                                                           (Kate answers the phone)
                                Hello?

It's Beth, calling from New Zealand, although the connection sounds just fine.

                                                                 BETH
                                                           (O.S.)
                                Kate, hi.  It's Beth.

                                                                 KATE
                                Beth, hi.  Whats up?

                                                                 BETH
                                What's a matter?  Can't I call my best friend any-
                                time I want?

                                                                 KATE
                                Of course you can.  What's wrong?

                                                                 BETH
                                Oh, nothin' much.  Just teetering on the edge of a
                                divorce, that's all.  And as far as I'm concerned, he
                                can have the Goddamned kids, too.

                                                                 KATE
                                What are you saying?

                                                                 BETH
                                                           (crying)
                                I don't know what I'm saying.  I'm so mad I could
                                just spit!  I'm gonna come home for a while, try
                                to remember who I really am.

                                                                 KATE
                                When?

                                                                 BETH
                                I don't know when.  Soon.

                                                                 KATE
                                You can stay here if you want.

                                                                 BETH
                                Thank you, Kate.  You're my best friend.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT           43

Aaron walks along the quiet street, his hands in his pockets, a serious look on his face.  His eyes glance upward.

                                                                 AARON
                                                           (to heaven)
                                Art thou mocking me?  Making sport of me?
                                She's supposed to be falling in love with me,
                                remember?  What's going on?

Aaron shakes his head and keeps walking.

                                                                                                       DISSOLVE:


Title: Three Weeks Later:

EXT. WAYNE COUNTY COURTHOUSE - DAY           44

Aaron speaks into his cell phone in front of the Wayne County courthouse, the main court of the city of Detroit.  Beside this is the Renaissance Center on the waterfront of the Detroit River.  The phone in Aaron's hand is ringing on the other end, then is answered by Kate.

                                                                 AARON
                                                           (into receiver)
                                So?

                                                                 KATE
                                                           (O.S.)
                                So, nothing.  Where are you?

                                                                 AARON
                                Wayne County courthouse.  Getting a judge to sign
                                a subpoena.  It's always a tricky business.

                                                                 KATE
                                I've got a million pages to edit.  I have to charge
                                more and not take so many jobs.

                                                                 AARON
                                Yeah, well, you know my opinion.  I think you
                                need to write.  Stop using up all your creative
                                energy fixing someone else's mistakes.

                                                                 KATE
                                Right.  My mom's forever telling me I should get a
                                nine to five job out of the house, then I'd meet a
                                man and get married.

                                                                 AARON
                                Your job's hard, it takes a long time, and it doesn't
                                pay well.

                                                                 KATE
                                But other than that it's great.  Gotta go.

Kate hangs up.  Aaron holds the receiver looking confused.

INT. AARON'S HOUSE - DAY           45

Aaron is doing sit-ups in front of his computer.

                                                                 AARON
                                Is it that I can't write, or that I have nothing to
                                write?  Or, are they the same thing?

At the top end of the arc, Aaron grabs the cordless phone and dials.  He continues doing sit-ups.  It rings and Kate answers.

                                                                 KATE
                                                           (O.S.)
                                Hello?

                                                                 AARON
                                So?

                                                                 KATE
                                It came.

Aaron stops exercising.

                                                                 AARON
                                                           (disappointed)
                                Really?  Shit.

                                                                 KATE
                                Are you disappointed that I'm not pregnant or
                                that you're not as potent as you thought?

Aaron continues his sit-ups.

                                                                 AARON
                                Nothing says I'm not potent, sweetheart.  Have
                                you had your apparatus checked to make sure
                                it's all in working order?

                                                                 KATE
                                Yes, I have.  Look, there's no use in pointing
                                fingers.  You wanna try again?

                                                                 AARON
                                                           (reticent)
                                If you do?

                                                                 KATE
                                                           (surprised)
                                Don't you?  I thought you were the one that always
                                wants to make the camel with two hunch-backs,
                                while, jerkin' the lizard?

                                                                 AARON
                                You're so good at vernacular, Kate, you should
                                write a detective novel.

                                                                 KATE
                                Well, aren't you enjoying this?

                                                                 AARON
                                Are you?

                                                                 KATE
                                This is business to me.  So, you don't want to do
                                it anymore?

                                                                 AARON
                                No, no, I do.

                                                                 KATE
                                Okay.  I'll let you know.

                                                                 AARON
                                All right.

                                                                 KATE
                                See ya.

                                                                 AARON
                                Bye.

They both hang up looking confused.

                                                                                                       DISSOLVE:

EXT. KATE'S HOUSE - NIGHT           46

There is a full spring moon floating over Kate's house.  From within we can hear the muffled grunts of sex being performed.

INT. KATE'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT           47

Aaron and Kate are in their familiar positions, him on the bottom, her on top, grinding away.  She still wears the somewhat shear nightgown - certainly not a Victoria's Secret item.

All of a sudden, Aaron takes hold of Kate around her waist, picks her up, and turns her around, so now she's on the bottom and he's on top.  They look into each other's eyes.  Her's asking, what's going on?  His answering, just watch.

Aaron slowly brings his mouth to hers, and they kiss very lightly, just brushing lips.  This would be a very tender first kiss if they didn't happen to already be having sex at the same time.

They kiss tentatively several more times with just their lips, Aaron gyrating ever so slowly.  Finally, their tongues touch and they kiss passionately.  Kate starts pushing back and soon they're really going at it.  They take hold of each other's faces, their eyes closed, sweat dappling their brows.  They begin breathing hard from the physical exertion, then, all at once, they both climax at the same time.

The process sputters to a halt.  Aaron and Kate lie there, still entangled in a tingling embrace.  Kate raises her head and opens her eyes.  Aaron opens his eyes, too, and has a weird, shocked expression on his face.  Kate becomes concerned.

                                                                 KATE
                                What?  What is it?

Aaron blinks, coughs, and rubs his eyes.

                                                                 AARON
                                This isn't a game, what the fuck are we doing?

                                                                 KATE
                                                           (seriously)
                                I never said it was a game.

                                                                 AARON
                                No, but that's how we've been treating it.  Artificial
                                insemination!  No hands, no mouths.  This is ridiculous!

                                                                 KATE
                                Aaron, what's gotten into you?

Aaron rubs his head.

                                                                 AARON
                                This is bullshit; it's a farce!  Everybody else in the
                                world can do this and mean it.  We have to do it and
                                pretend like we don't mean it.  Now I'm not sure if I
                                mean it or I don't or what the hell's going on?  And it
                                suddenly all seems wrong.  I'm sorry.

Aaron gets up and buttons up his jeans.  Kate watches him leave with a stunned expression.

                                                                                                       DISSOLVE:

INT. KATE'S HOUSE - DAY           48

And the routine begins again.  Aaron's phone calls are all from different locations, and Kate's are all in her house, although every time we see her she's doing something different.

EXT. CAPITOL BUILDING (LANSING) - DAY           49

Aaron speaks on his cell phone with Michigan's domed capitol building in the background.

                                                                 AARON
                                Kate.

                                                                 KATE
                                Aaron.

                                                                 AARON
                                So?

                                                                 KATE
                                Nothing yet.  Are you okay?

                                                                 AARON
                                I guess.  I don't know.

EXT. SAGINAW BAY - DAY           50

The water glimmers in Saginaw Bay, seagulls caw and swoop.  Aaron sits on a bench overlooking the bay, speaking on his phone.

                                                                 AARON
                                So?

                                                                 KATE
                                Nope.

                                                                 AARON
                                What do you think?

                                                                 KATE
                                I don't know.

                                                                 AARON
                                Look, Kate, if it doesn't work this time, uh, I
                                think we should stop it.

                                                                 KATE
                                Why?  What happened?

                                                                 AARON
                                Nothing happened, I guess that's it.

                                                                 KATE
                                What did you expect to happen?

                                                                 AARON
                                That, y'know, you'd fall in love with me.

                                                                 KATE
                                Because we'd have such good sex?

                                                                 AARON
                                Yeah.  Basically.

                                                                 KATE
                                But we didn't?

                                                                 AARON
                                Let's say, I've had better.

                                                                 KATE
                                                           (hurt)
                                Well, I'm sorry.  I did my best.

                                                                 AARON
                                Hey, what the hell.  We tried, right?
                                                           (Kate starts to cry)
                                Oh, come on, Kate.

                                                                 KATE
                                                           (crying)
                                And one more thing in my life fails.  You wanna
                                come over and get wrecked?

                                                                 AARON
                                But you still might be pregnant.

                                                                 KATE
                                                           (sarcastic)
                                Oh, sure!

                                                                 AARON
                                Let's make it another time, okay?  I'll call you.

                                                                 KATE
                                Fine.

EXT. DOWNTOWN GROSSE POINTE - DAY           51

Aaron sits on a park bench in the cute, rich, downtown area of Grosse Pointe, speaking on his phone.

                                                                 AARON
                                Anything?

                                                                 KATE
                                No.

                                                                 AARON
                                It should be here, right?

                                                                 KATE
                                Right, but I'm not officially "Late" yet.

EXT. OAKLAND COUNTY COURTHOUSE - DAY           52

The Oakland County courthouse is a big, low building in the middle of nowhere.  Aaron steps outside with his ever-present briefcase.  He speaks into his phone.

                                                                 AARON
                                So?

                                                                 KATE
                                I'm officially "Late."

Aaron's whole demeanor drops.

                                                                 AARON
                                Fuck.

                                                                 KATE
                                Cool out, one day doesn't mean much.

INT. EMPTY COURTROOM - DAY           53

Aaron sits in an empty courtroom all by himself, speaking on the phone.

                                                                 AARON
                                What does two days mean?

                                                                 KATE
                                It means two days.

                                                                 AARON
                                Have you ever been two days late before?

                                                                 KATE
                                Yes.


                                                                 AARON
                                Have you ever been pregnant before?

                                                                 KATE
                                . . . Yes.

                                                                 AARON
                                With whom, if I may ask?

                                                                 KATE
                                You may.  My old boyfriend, Bjorn.

                                                                 AARON
                                The tennis player?

                                                                 KATE
                                No, he's an associate professor of anthropology
                                at the University of Georgia.

                                                                 AARON
                                That's what I meant.

                                                                 KATE
                                                           (determined)
                                I won't give this one up, Aaron.

                                                                 AARON
                                I understand that.

                                                                 KATE
                                The last one wasn't meant to be.  I accept that.
                                They're not all meant to be.  I'm glad I didn't have
                                a kid when I was twenty-five with Bjorn.  I've seen
                                pictures of his kids and they are really ugly.  This
                                one, though, is definitely meant to be.

                                                                 AARON
                                Let's see what happens tomorrow.

INT. AARON'S HOUSE - NIGHT           54

Aaron enters his house, tosses his briefcase on the couch, goes directly to the telephone and dials.

                                                                 AARON
                                Kate?

                                                                 KATE
                                Nope.

                                                                 AARON
                                Fuck.

                                                                 KATE
                                I went to the doctor.  He thinks I might be pregnant.

                                                                 AARON
                                Fuck.

                                                                 KATE
                                We'll see, though, it's still too early to know for sure.

                                                                 AARON
                                Wanna get together?  Now you can practice watching
                                me get wrecked.

                                                                 KATE
                                Okay.

EXT. KATE'S HOUSE - NIGHT           55

Outside Kate's house at night.  We can hear reggae music, Misty barking, and see the silhouettes of Kate and Aaron dancing in the front window.

INT. KATE'S HOUSE - NIGHT           56

Kate, Aaron and Misty all collapse on the couch as the song ends.  Kate and Aaron are breathless and grinning, Misty is drooling.  Aaron leans over and gently kisses Kate.  She kisses him back.  The kiss gets a bit hotter and Kate pulls back, exasperated.

                                                                 KATE
                                I knew you'd do this.

                                                                 AARON
                                It's my duty.

                                                                 KATE
                                Duty as what?

                                                                 AARON
                                A man.

                                                                 KATE
                                I'm not interested in your duty as a man.

                                                                 AARON
                                What are you interested in?

                                                                 KATE
                                Love.

                                                                 AARON
                                                           (sarcastic)
                                Well, hallelujah!

                                                                 KATE
                                You think that's silly?

                                                                 AARON
                                No, just ridiculously idealistic.  As somebody once
                                said, "Life is what happens to you when you're making
                                other plans."  Kate, I'm here.  I've been here for years.
                                Besides, I slept with you.  It's my sperm; it's my baby!

                                                                 KATE
                                No!  It's my baby!  We made a deal.

                                                                 AARON
                                Fuck the deal!  It's a stupid idea!  We're best fucking
                                friends, it's my sperm and your egg - therefore it's our
                                baby!  Don't you see?  We're supposed to be in love
                                now!

                                                                 KATE
                                Sez who?

 

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