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EXT. PETE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Pete gets home from work looking weary. He unlocks the door and
goes in.
INT. PETE'S APARTMENT/KITCHEN - NIGHT
Pete enters the kitchen without turning on the light and starts to make
himself something to eat. Because it's dark, he goes to set a
pot on the counter, misses and it clangs on the floor. Pete picks
it up, turns and runs into a chair knocking it over.
The kitchen light goes on and there stands Jen wearing an oversized
T-shirt, clearly having just been woken up. She rubs her eyes.
JENNIFER
What's
going on?
PETE
Just
making myself something to eat.
JENNIFER
In
the dark?
PETE
I
didn't want to wake you.
JENNIFER
Good
work.
PETE
Sorry.
Where's the cereal?
JENNIFER
(points)
It's
in the cupboard with the coffee and the oatmeal.
PETE
What
was wrong with where I had it?
JENNIFER
Under
the sink? Nobody keeps cereal under the sink.
PETE
I
do.
JENNIFER
What
if the faucet leaks?
PETE
What
if the ceiling leaks? What's the difference?
JENNIFER
(looks
at Pete for
a
long moment)
Why
do you work in a gas station?
PETE
Hey,
where else am I gonna work with hair this
long?
JENNIFER
That's
not an answer. You're a bright guy, you draw
pretty
well, there's a lot of things you could do.
PETE
Yeah?
Like what?
JENNIFER
(long
pause)
.
. . That's not the point. You're thirty-two years old.
Isn't
there anything you'd rather be doing?
PETE
Yeah,
drawing comic books.
JENNIFER
So
why don't you?
PETE
I
do.
JENNIFER
Pete,
if you took your complete works and collected
them
you wouldn't have one whole comic book.
PETE
I'm
not fast; I'm precise.
JENNIFER
(skeptical)
Oh,
really?
PETE
Yes,
really.
JENNIFER
Hang
onto your gas station job.
PETE
I
will.
Jen exits the kitchen and Pete sits down.
DISSOLVE:
INT. PETE'S KITCHEN - NIGHT
Pete sits at the kitchen table trying to draw. His paper is blank.
Jen can be seen in the background working at her computer. Pete
glances at the phone, then looks away.
Pete frowns, sighs, goes over and dials. Jen looks on. The
phone rings four times, then a machine clicks in.
JAY
(O.S.
on machine)
Hi,
this is Jay. I'm not home right now, but please
leave
a message . . . That is, unless your name is
Pete
Herman, in which case you can go fuck yourself!
Beep.
Pete hangs up looking forlorn. He goes back to his drawing pad
and sits down. Jen watches with a look of concern, then turns
back to what she's doing.
Pete taps his pen on the blank page.
DISSOLVE:
EXT. WOODED COURT - MORNING
The vacant wooded court sparkles with
dew in the warm early morning sun. Pete comes walking up through
the woods smoking a joint. He steps onto the road and looks sadly
at the cul-de-sac. Pete walks slowly around the circle as he forlornly
huffs the joint. Finally, he flicks away the roach and walks away.
INT. JAY'S GARAGE - DAY
Jay opens the door wearing his coat and tie and steps out into the garage.
He opens the garage door and finds Pete standing there. Jay's
expression tightens as he and Pete look at each other.
PETE
Hi.
JAY
(flatly)
What
do you want?
PETE
I
want us to get past this. We've been friends too
long
to not be friends.
JAY
(shakes
his head)
I
don't think so. I'm still pissed at you.
PETE
Why?
You only went out with her once. Come
on,
gimme a break.
JAY
I
don't know.
PETE
Come
on. We've been friends our whole lives.
We
can't let a woman get between that. Our
friendship
is too important.
JAY
Well
. . .
PETE
I'll
stop bringing up that you were a bully when
you
were a kid.
JAY
I
was not a bully.
PETE
Yes
you were, but I won't bring it up anymore.
I
swear.
JAY
Well,
that'll be a relief.
(looks
away)
Uh,
I've got an hour before work. Wanna go get
a
cup of coffee?
PETE
(smiles)
Sure.
JAY
You
wanna drive?
PETE
O.K.
(they
start toward Pete's
car.
Pete puts his hand
in
his pocket)
Oh,
shoot!
JAY
What?
PETE
My
keys. I must've left 'em at home.
JAY
(stops
short)
Oh,
great!
PETE
(pulls
out his keys)
Sucker.
How would I have gotten here?
JAY
(shakes
his head)
Why
do I always fall for that kind of crap?
PETE
'Cause
you're a sucker, that's why.
They get in Pete's car and drive away.
DISSOLVE:
INT. PETE'S APARTMENT - DAY
Pete enters and finds Jen standing there, waiting for him.
JENNIFER
You're
late. You know what time it is?
PETE
No,
I don't wear a watch.
JENNIFER
(amazed)
That's
not an excuse. You said you'd be back by
noon.
PETE
I
was with Jay. We made up.
JENNIFER
(surprised)
Oh,
really? That's nice.
PETE
Yeah,
I invited him over tomorrow night.
JENNIFER
I
thought you worked tomorrow night.
PETE
No,
they switched me. I work tonight.
JENNIFER
But
we were going to go out. Remember?
PETE
Sorry.
I gotta go get ready.
Pete walks past Jen.
JENNIFER
Get
ready? What do you have to do to get ready
to
work at a gas station?
PETE
What's
wrong with you?
JENNIFER
What
do you mean?
PETE
Well,
you can't stand anything I do, and everytime
you
see me you get pissed off.
JENNIFER
Do
I really?
PETE
Yeah,
and I don't like it very much.
JENNIFER
(sits
down)
I'm
just going through something, I guess. I mean,
I
probably shouldn't have moved in here in the first
place.
I just broke up with someone and I don't know
what
I'm doing. It seems like we're both dealing
with
this like we were lovers, which we're not. We're
roommates.
PETE
As
a footnote here, roommates pay half the rent.
That's
two hundred and fifty-six dollars.
JENNIFER
(shocked)
You
pay five-twelve? For this place?
PETE
Yeah?
JENNIFER
I'm
sorry but it's not worth it.
PETE
It's
centrally located, in a nice, wooded area. I don't
have
any complaints.
JENNIFER
You
ought to.
PETE
That's
the difference between me and you. I'm
perfectly
happy with my life; you want to bitch
about
everything. You ought to get together with
Jay,
he's always bitching, too. Now, if you'll excuse
me,
I have to get to my degrading, low-wage job.
I've
got five hundred and twelve dollars rent to pay.
Pete walks past Jen into the bedroom. Jen looks like she has a
headache.
INT. JAY'S HOUSE/KITCHEN - DAY
There are eight fat piles of manuscript
pages sitting on the kitchen table. Jay sits in front of the
piles literally cutting and pasting with the use of a scissors and tape.
Having created a brand-new page, Jay stops and reads it. It seems
OK. He puts the page aside, shrugs and keeps cutting.
INT. PETE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Jen sits at her computer and talks on the telephone.
JENNIFER
Look,
I can't listen to you tell me you love me
after
you've fucked my best friend. Those things
don't
go together. So just leave me alone, will
you?
Don't call me. I don't want to talk you any-
more,
ever.
Jen hangs up. Pete comes through the door and he is really dragging
his ass.
PETE
(tired)
Hi.
JENNIFER
Hi.
How was work?
PETE
(sarcastic)
Excellent.
Couldn't be better. I just love work-
ing
all night, then working someone else's shift
all
day.
JENNIFER
You
ever hear of saying no?
PETE
I
couldn't do that.
JENNIFER
Of
course not. When's Jay gonna be here?
PETE
Soon.
JENNIFER
What
about dinner?
PETE
He
said he'd bring it, and a video.
JENNIFER
Nice.
PETE
Yeah.
I'm gonna take a quick shower, see if I
can't
wake myself up a little.
Pete goes into the bedroom and shuts the door.
There is a knock at the front door. Jen answers it and it's Jay.
He's well dressed and looking good. He holds several plastic bags.
JAY
(smiles)
Hi.
How ya doin'?
JENNIFER
(smiles
back)
I'm
great. You?
JAY
Terrific.
Jay swings the bags around and gives Jen a hug. Jen hugs him back,
holding on a second longer than he does. A look comes in to Jay's
eyes. Hmmmm?
INT. PETE'S KITCHEN - NIGHT
Jay, Jen, and Pete sit at the table finishing eating Chinese food.
Pete is done and sits back in his chair, his eyelids growing heavy.
JAY
.
. . So then, the next people that come walking
in
are this fat, ugly, obnoxious couple who im-
mediately
hate everything in the store. The woman's
got
a mustache and the man --
Underneath the table, Jen's foot touches Jay's foot.
JAY
(forgetting
what
he
was saying)
--
Uh --
JENNIFER
(casually)
Yeah?
JAY
What
was I saying?
Jen's foot is now on top of Jay's.
JENNIFER
The
fat, ugly, obnoxious couple.
JAY
Yeah,
well, who cares about them anyway? So,
who
wants to watch a great movie?
JENNIFER
Sure.
PETE
(weary)
Yeah,
why not?
Jay holds up the video tape of Akira Kurasowa's RAN.
JAY
Let's
put it on.
INT. PETE'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Jay sits in a chair raptly watching the TV. We can hear the wind
blowing and Japanese voices grunting. Jay glances to his right.
Our view moves over to the couch where Pete is crapped out asleep.
Our view continues to move and now we see Jen who is looking right back
at Jay.
JENNIFER
(quietly)
You
want something else to drink?
JAY
O.K.
JENNIFER
(stands)
I'll
go get it.
JAY
I'll
come with you.
Jay gets up and follows Jen out of the room.
A moment later Pete opens his eyes. He sits there on the couch
wearing a disturbed expression, then very quietly stands up. He
steps softly across the living room, gets to the kitchen door and clandestinely
peers inside. He sees . . .
INT. PETE'S KITCHEN - NIGHT
. . . Jay and Jen standing in the kitchen seriously making-out, their
hands all over each other.
Pete turns around looking very angry, then steps out of sight.
Jen and Jay finally break apart and breathlessly whisper to each other.
JAY
What're
you doing here? Come stay at my place.
I
have five empty bedrooms.
JENNIFER
You
do?
(Jay
nods)
What
about Pete?
JAY
Forget
about Pete.
JENNIFER
But
he's your friend.
JAY
Fuck
him. He doesn't know what he wants.
The
guy's thirty-two and works in a gas station,
for
God's sake.
JENNIFER
(confused)
I
know, but I also know I shouldn't be here. It's
not
fair to Pete, he's taken it all the wrong way.
JAY
Honestly.
Five empty bedrooms. No kidding.
JENNIFER
I'm
not sure what I'm doing. We'll see.
JAY
I'm
gonna go. Walk me out, O.K.?
JENNIFER
O.K.
They kiss again, then leave the kitchen.
INT. PETE'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
As Jay and Jen cross the living room they both glance over at Pete.
Pete is seated on the couch, exactly where he was before, his eyes closed,
ostensibly snoozing away.
Jay ejects RAN from the video machine, then steps up to Jen at
the door.
JAY
(whispering)
We
can finish watching this later.
JENNIFER
(grins)
Can't
wait.
Jay leans forward to kiss her and Jen turns to look at Pete. So
does Jay. Pete's eyes are closed. Jen waves her hand indicating
that this isn't a good idea. Jay shrugs.
JAY
Tell
Pete I'll meet him at the court tomorrow at
noon,
O.K.?
(Jen
nods)
Walk
me out to the car.
JENNIFER
O.K.
Jay and Jen go out the door. The moment the door closes Pete's
eyes open and he sits up looking truly pissed off.
Pete goes to the window, looks out and sees . . .
EXT. PETE'S BUILDING - NIGHT
. . . Jay and Jen stand by Jay's car embracing and kissing. Finally,
their lips part. Jay gets in his car and Jen heads back inside.
INT. PETE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Jen comes back in Pete's apartment. She shuts the door looking
rather wistful and, through the window, sees Jay's car drive away.
Jen glances over at the couch and sees that Pete's not there.
Jen furrows her brow, crosses the living room, and steps up to the bathroom
door.
INT. PETE'S BATHROOM - NIGHT
Pete is busily stuffing items into a pillow case.
JENNIFER
What
are you doing?
PETE
(flatly)
Packing.
JENNIFER
(confused)
But
this is your place.
PETE
Yeah,
but this is your shit!
JENNIFER
You
weren't asleep?
PETE
Not
tonight, but I guess I was for the past couple
weeks.
JENNIFER
What
does that mean?
PETE
It
means, I thought this was possibly leading
somewhere.
JENNIFER
Come
on, Pete, you're kidding yourself.
PETE
(stung)
Oh
really? Anything else I'm kidding myself about?
JENNIFER
Honestly?
PETE
Yeah,
sure. Why not?
JENNIFER
Aside
from the fact that you have absolutely no
ambition,
you're not a very good artist. Your per-
spectives
aren't natural, your detail work is shabby,
and
I don't think you could ever make a living at
it.
PETE
You
said you liked Radiator Man.
JENNIFER
I
was trying to make you feel good. Look, I make
my
living as an artist, you've got to know the basics.
It's
the same reason you've worked in a gas station
for
seven years --
PETE
--
Eight, actually.
JENNIFER
Fine,
eight years. You take whatever is handed
to
you, Pete. You won't make anything happen.
PETE
Anything
else?
JENNIFER
Pete,
I came here as a roommate and you've taken
this
all wrong. Can't we still be friends?
PETE
My
friends encourage me, they don't put me down.
I
don't think I need a friend like you.
JENNIFER
All
right, fine. Let me get the rest of my stuff.
Jen grabs the pillow case and leaves the bathroom. Pete follows.
INT. PETE'S SPARE BEDROOM - NIGHT
Jen enters the bedroom with Pete in tow and begins packing her clothes
in her suitcase. Pete's expression completely changes from fury
to desperation.
PETE
Look,
don't go. Stay. It doesn't matter. I didn't
mean
it.
JENNIFER
Jesus
Christ, Pete, for a second there I actually
thought
you had some backbone, obviously I was
mistaken
about that, too. Have you ever tried to
get
a better job?
PETE
I
like my job, what's the big deal?
JENNIFER
It's
no big deal. It's perfectly fine. Work there for
the
rest of your life. How are the retirement benefits?
PETE
(thinks)
Well,
not bad. Medical and dental are pretty goo --
JENNIFER
--
That's terrific, you're all set.
PETE
(totally
desperate)
Jen,
please stay. I won't ever bug you again. You're
just
my roommate, I can handle that. But please don't
go.
JENNIFER
Look,
Pete, I like you. You're a nice guy. Let's just
say
goodbye and be done with it, O.K.?
PETE
(defeated)
O.K.
Jen has all of her stuff together.
JENNIFER
Fine.
Goodbye.
PETE
'Bye.
Jen hoists up her suitcase and walks past Pete as he slowly sinks down
until he's sitting on the bed.
Jen goes out the door and shuts it behind her.
ANIMATION SEQUENCE:
Sitting on the bed is RADIATOR MAN who looks a lot like Pete
except that his body is an automobile radiator. He grabs his head
in frustration and steam hisses out of his ears. Radiator Man
has lost his cool. Suddenly he leaps to his feet, stomps across
the room and kicks the door down!
There's Jen just going out the front
door. Radiator Man grabs Jen, lifting her into his arms.
She smiles and puts her head against his shoulder. He takes her
back into the bedroom.
JENNIFER
I
love you, Radiator Man.
RADIATOR
MAN
I
know you do, baby. My temperature gauge is
rising
dangerously into the red zone. If I don't
blow
off some steam I'll explode.
They sink down out of sight and a cloud of steam rises up.
END ANIMATION SEQUENCE:
INT. PETE'S SPARE BEDROOM - NIGHT
Pete still sits there forlornly on the bed. A moment later the
door opens and Jen walks back in. Pete smiles at her hopefully.
JENNIFER
I
forgot my clock.
Jen grabs her clock and leaves again. Pete smile fades and his
head droops forward.
DISSOLVE:
EXT. WOODED COURT - DAY
Jay's blue Honda drives up the wooded street, goes around the cul-de-sac
and parks. Jay breaks off the filter of a Best Buy cigarette,
lights up and as he blows out the smoke his face is a study of confusion.
He looks all around, but doesn't see anything. He sighs and takes
another puff of his cigarette.
Suddenly, a 32 oz. cup of Coca-Cola is thrown into Jay's face, dousing
him and putting out his cigarette. Before Jay knows what's going
on, Pete reaches in through the window, grabs Jay by the lapels of his
jacket and starts to pull him out the window.
PETE
Son
of a fuckin' bitch! I'm gonna kill you!
JAY
What
the . . .
Pete pulls Jay the rest of the way out the window and lets him fall
to the ground.
PETE
You
bastard! You stole my girl!
With that Pete begins kicking Jay as hard as he can. Jay covers
his face.
JAY
Jesus
Christ! Are you outta your mind? Stop it!
PETE
No,
you stop it, fuckstick!
Pete kicks Jay very hard several times in the stomach. Jay crawls
under the car holding his stomach.
JAY
I
didn't steal her, for God's sake. She's not property,
she
does what she wants.
PETE
Get
out from under there, you chicken!
JAY
Don't
call me a chicken.
PETE
Chicken!
Jay reaches out, grabs Pete's ankles and pulls. Pete falls on
his ass.
PETE
Owww!
Shit!
Pete kicks at Jay under the car.
JAY
Stop
it!
PETE
Come
out and face the music!
JAY
If
I come out from under here you're gonna wish I
didn't!
PETE
Promises,
promises.
Pete runs over to the woods and grabs a big dead stick. He dashes
back over and jabs the stick very hard under the car. Jay is stuck
in the cheek and screams. Jay grabs his cheek and sees that he's
bleeding.
JAY
Holy
shit! What's wrong with you?
PETE
Nothing's
wrong with me, but plenty's gonna be
wrong
with you, now come outta there!
JAY
Don't
force me, man.
PETE
Come!
Out!
Pete goes to jab the stick under the car again, but hits the side of
the car causing the rough edge of the stick to run through his hands.
Pete gasps in pain, then pokes the stick under the car as hard as he
can, jabbing Jay in the chest.
JAY
Owww!
All right, that's it!
Jay crawls out from under the car on the opposite side. His cheek
is cut and bleeding and so is his nose. Pete runs around to confront
him, the big stick held out in front. Jay is really pissed- off.
JAY
Put
that Goddamn thing down!
PETE
Make
me!
Pete whips the stick back and forth in front of Jay's face and whacks
him on the side of the head. Jay finally grabs hold of the stick
and pulls it out of Pete's hands. Jay tries to break it over his
knee, but it won't break and hurts his knee. He finally just throws
it. Jay wipes under his nose, looks at his hand and sees blood.
JAY
See
what you did?
PETE
I
see.
JAY
The
only reason I don't kill you is that you're my
friend.
PETE
Oh,
really?
JAY
Yeah,
really. Now enough, O.K.?
PETE
Well
. . . O.K.
Pete starts to turn away.
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