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QUICK INTERCUT TO . . .
EXT. WOODED AREA - DAY
TWELVE YEAR OLD JAY is pushing TEN YEAR OLD PETE while
humming the Batman TV show theme.
BACK TO THE PRESENT DAY . . .
EXT. WOODED COURT - DAY
Jay sighs and takes a step forward. Pete suddenly swings around
with his fist and sucker punches Jay in the mouth. As Jay spins
around and drops to his knees, Pete dives on top of him swinging wildly.
Jay tries to crawl away with Pete on his back.
JAY
Don't
make me use the restraining hold, 'cause
you
know I will!
PETE
Lay
it on me, Bobo Brazil!
JAY
You
really want me to?
PETE
Yeah
I do. I've been hearing about your stupid
fucking
restraining hold forever. Let's see it.
JAY
You
got it, bud!
Jay quickly flips over, gets a hold of Pete's throat, turns him around,
gets him in a half-nelson with his right arm around Pete's throat, while
pinning Pete's wrist up behind his back. Pete struggles as hard
as he can, rolling them both around, but there's no getting out of Jay's
restraining hold.
JAY
Had
enough?
PETE
Fuck
you!
Jay pushes Pete's wrist up higher.
PETE
Owww!
Shit!!
JAY
You're
not getting out of this, you know that
don't
you? I learned this hold the summer I
worked
at the mental hospital.
Pete's lower jaw is being pushed upward by Jay's bicep so he must speak
through clenched teeth.
PETE
I've
heard this story a million fucking times.
JAY
Give
up or I'll break your arm.
PETE
Forget
it.
Jay pushes Pete's wrist up even higher.
JAY
Give!
PETE
AHHH!!
Fuck, I give.
JAY
You
swear?
PETE
I
swear.
JAY
Don't
come at me again, O.K.?
PETE
O.K.
Jay lets Pete go and pushes him away. Pete rubs his aching shoulder.
JAY
Look,
man, I'm sorry about all of this. She
walked
right into the party and sat on my lap.
I
didn't even know it was her.
PETE
And
did you know it was her when you were
making
out with her last night right in front of
me?
Huh?
JAY
(abashed)
Well
. . .
PETE
Well
don't think for a second she gives a good
Goddamn
about you! She was just doing that to
piss
me off. She doesn't give a shit about you!
JAY
That's
crap!
PETE
Oh
yeah? You invited her to stay with you, didn't
you?
(Jay
nods)
Well,
I threw her out of my place last night. Did
she
come to your house?
JAY
.
. . No.
PETE
That's
right. She doesn't give a shit about you and
neither
do I!
JAY
Oh,
well, great. Fine. Fuck you, too.
Pete walks away giving Jay the finger over his shoulder.
PETE
Go
crawl in a hole somewhere and die!
JAY
No,
you! Loser! Got that five bucks you owe
me?
Pete pulls out his wallet and looks inside -- he hasn't got any money
at all.
PETE
Fuck
you!
Pete keeps walking until he's out of sight.
Jay shakes his head. He touches his swelling lip, his cut cheek,
his bloody nose, then his bruised eye.
JAY
Oh,
man!
He sighs, gets in his car, turns the key and . . . Click!
Jay drops his head back and laughs sardonically.
DISSOLVE:
EXT. JAY'S HOUSE - EVENING
Jay's house is very large, sits on an acre of land and has a rock garden
and a car port in front. Jen's car drives up.
Jen steps up to the big wooden front
door and knocks. After a moment the door is opened. Jen
gasps in horror and recoils.
JENNIFER
Oh
my God!
Jay's face is swollen and bruised, covered with several band-aids, one
eye squinting. He holds a drink in one hand, a joint in the other,
and wears a sombrero.
JAY
(pleased,
but can't
really
smile)
Jen,
hi, que pasa?
JENNIFER
What
happened to you?
Jay touches his face and recoils.
JAY
What?
This? It's no big deal. Come on in.
How
'bout a margarita?
Jay ushers Jen inside. Jen steps in and Jay shuts the door.
INT. JAY'S HOUSE - EVENING
Jen is impressed as she looks around, then comes back to the issue at
hand.
JENNIFER
No
big deal? You look like you lost a bullfight.
(realizing)
Did
Pete do this to you?
JAY
(walking
away)
Fuck
Pete -- the loser.
JENNIFER
(following)
So
then he did do it?
JAY
The
weasel caught me off guard! He hit me in
the
face with a stick, then sucker punched me.
JENNIFER
(in
disbelief)
He
hit you with a stick? A big one?
Jay indicates the circumference of the stick by making a circle with
his fingers.
INT. JAY'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
He has led Jen into the large living room. Jay takes off his sombrero
and tosses it. He goes to the full bar where a pitcher of margaritas
sits on the blender. He pours one for Jen, then freshens his own.
They take their drinks over to the couch and sit down.
JENNIFER
I
can't believe Pete would beat you up.
JAY
(holds
up his hand)
Whoa!
Pete did not beat me up. He took advan-
tage
of my good nature and started hitting me
with
a stick. That's when I got him in the restrain-
ing
hold and that's when he gave up.
JENNIFER
Does
he look as bad as you?
JAY
Well
. . . No. But I still won the fight.
(toasts)
To
victory.
Jen dubiously touches glasses with him and they both drink.
JENNIFER
Oooh,
that's good. You make a mean margarita.
JAY
'Course
I do, as long as I have a bottle of margarita
mix.
Drink up, there's plenty more . . . for Jennifer
Moore.
Jay laughs and his face hurts. They both take a big gulp.
Jay lights a match, ignites the joint and hands it to Jen.
JENNIFER
Gee,
I haven't done this in years.
(she
takes a hit)
So
then, I'd have to assume, you and Pete aren't
talking
anymore.
JAY
No.
He takes a hit of the joint and passes
it back to Jen.
JENNIFER
I'm
stoned already.
JAY
It's
good shit. Senegalese Thunderfuck.
Jay goes and gets the pitcher of margaritas and refills their glasses.
Jay sits back down and slides close to Jen.
JENNIFER
I'm
really sorry I caused the fight.
JAY
You
didn't cause it, it's been coming for a long
time.
JENNIFER
But
you guys were such good friends.
JAY
Emphasis
goes on the word "were." Past tense.
Jay snuggles up beside Jen and puts his arm around her. He goes
to kiss her and just as his lips are about to make contact, Jen turns
to look at the room. Jay gets Jen's pearl earring in his mouth
and swallows it.
JENNIFER
That's
a real pearl.
JAY
I'll
give it back to you tomorrow.
JENNIFER
This
is a beautiful house.
JAY
Thank
you.
JENNIFER
How
many rooms?
JAY
Sixteen.
JENNIFER
(impressed)
How
is it that you afford all this on an assistant
manager's
salary?
Jay is slowly easing Jen back on the couch while nuzzling her neck.
JAY
Hey,
I get three percent commission and a percent
and
a half percent spif. However, I don't afford it.
My
mom and dad are getting divorced. My dad
moved
in with his girlfriend and my mom's down
in
Florida and I'm here taking care of the place.
JENNIFER
How
long were they married?
JAY
Forty
years.
JENNIFER
Does
it really upset you?
JAY
No,
not really. You gonna stay here?
JENNIFER
How
could it not upset you?
JAY
I
think it's doing both of them a world of good.
JENNIFER
I
was thinking about staying a couple of days
maybe.
Jay begins unbuttoning Jen's blouse.
JAY
O.K.
You can stay longer if you want.
JENNIFER
We'll
see. What're you doing?
Jay is now entirely on top of Jen.
JAY
I'm
removing all unnecessary, constrictive cloth-
ing,
then I will administer Cardio-pulmonary
resuscitation.
JENNIFER
(grinning)
I'm
not choking.
JAY
Better
safe than sorry. Call it preventative medicine.
JENNIFER
Help
me off with my boots, will you?
JAY
Sure.
He unsteadily gets to his feet, turns around backward and Jen puts her
boot up between Jay's legs. Jay grabs hold of the toe and heel
and pulls. It won't come off. Jen puts her other boot against
Jay's butt and pushes. The boot suddenly comes off and Jay goes
flying over the coffee table and lands on his face on the carpet with
a thump. He just lies there for a second not moving. Jen
dashes over to him.
JENNIFER
Are
you O.K.?
He sits up holding his aching face. Jen takes hold of him, pulling
him to her breast.
JENNIFER
I'm
sorry. I'm really sorry.
Jay puts his arms around her and they kiss. The kiss goes on and
on, then they fall back on the floor. As they're seriously making
out, they begin pulling off each other's clothes. With their shirts
off and their pants undone, Jen whispers . . .
JENNIFER
(breathlessly)
Have
you got some kind of protection?
JAY
I've
got an alarm system with an electric eye.
JENNIFER
That's
not what I mean.
JAY
Oh,
a condom?
JENNIFER
Yes.
JAY
(aside)
I'm
doing better than I thought.
(to
Jen)
I'll
be right back.
Jay jumps unsteadily to his feet and dashes out of the room.
EXT. JAY'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Pete sits in his car in Jay's driveway behind Jen's car looking perturbed.
Just as he's about to drive away he looks over at the window.
Through the white curtains he sees Jay's silhouette step up. A
moment later Jen's silhouette steps up, then the two silhouettes move
into each other's arms and kiss.
Pete is so bugged he now looks sick. He puts his car in gear and
drives away.
INT. GAS STATION - NIGHT
Pete sits at the pay window and Bear sits behind him smoking cigarettes.
The smoke keeps wafting forward causing Pete to look angrier than he
already is.
BEAR
.
. . So the guy says, "You got change for a fifty?" and
I
says, "Read the sign, nothin' bigger'n a twenty," and
the
guy says, "But a fifty's all I got" and I says, "I don't
give
a good Goddamn" and he says . . .
Meanwhile, Pete is watching a fellow in a SUIT & TIE at the
pump vainly attempting to put some gas in his new Cadillac and clearly
unable to do so. Pete can hear the guy's voice
through the intercom.
SUIT
& TIE
What's
wrong with this stupid thing? Jesus Christ
anyway,
why can't they make these silly things so
they
work?!
Pete keys the button on the intercom and speaks into the microphone.
PETE
Try
reading the directions.
The guy in the Suit & Tie looks toward the office.
SUIT
& TIE
What
directions?
PETE
Just
give up. If you're not smart enough to put gas
in
your car you probably shouldn't be driving.
Bear's impressed. He's never heard Pete talk this way.
SUIT
& TIE
And
just who the hell do you think you are?
PETE
(grinning)
Me?
I'm the guy with a full tank of gas.
SUIT
& TIE
And
a job in a gas station. How you think you
can
act superior to anyone is a complete joke,
asshole!
The guy gets in his Cadillac and drives away.
Pete doesn't look pleased by the outcome of this exchange. Bear,
however, thinks it's pretty funny.
BEAR
That
guy really zinged you, Petey-boy.
Pete swings around in his chair to face Bear.
PETE
Let's
get three things straight, shall we? 1.) don't
ever
call me Petey-boy, B.) don't sit behind me and
blow
smoke at me, and 3.) what the hell're you doing
here
anyway, it's not even your shift?
Bear puts out his cigarette and stands up.
BEAR
You
think you're so Goddamn smart, but you're
not.
You're just as dumb as me. The difference
is
I'm not pretending and you are, Petey-boy.
Bear leaves.
Pete, looking even more depressed, glances up at the "Employee
of the Month" plaque on the wall with a photograph of him on it
-- his hair is shorter and he wears a foolish grin.
CLOSE-UP - PLAQUE
Magically, the photograph of Pete on the plaque comes to life.
PETE
IN PHOTO
Yes,
sir, you pull the handle up, wait seven seconds
and
the pump will engage.
VOICE
(O.S.)
Thank
you.
PETE
IN PHOTO
My
pleasure, sir.
INT. GAS STATION - NIGHT
Pete looks down with a confused, angry, unhappy expression.
DISSOLVE:
EXT. JAY'S HOUSE - MORNING
The bright morning sun shines down on Jay's house. Jen's car sits
in front.
INT. JAY'S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Jay's hand lies on his chest. It starts to twitch, then moves
up to Jay's beat up and swollen face. His hair is askew and clearly
he has a ripping hang-over. Jay rubs the side of his head and
starts to sit up, but his head is splitting. For a second he looks
like he might throw up, then he sees a pair of panty hose on the floor.
He smiles through the pain. Jay smells something which catches
his attention. He stands causing his head to pound and goes into
the kitchen.
INT. JAY'S KITCHEN - DAY
Jen sits at the kitchen table drinking coffee and looking rather hung-over
herself.
JAY
Morning.
Jen looks up at Jay and gasps in horror.
JENNIFER
You
look terrible.
JAY
Thanks,
I feel terrible, too.
JENNIFER
Want
some coffee?
JAY
Sure.
Jen pours Jay a cup from the percolator. Jay riffles through his
pockets and finds a smashed pack of Best Buy cigarettes. He digs
out a crooked, bent cig, breaks off the filter, lights up and starts
to cough violently.
JENNIFER
You
make smoking look so glamorous.
JAY
Thanks.
(Jay
takes a sip
of
coffee)
So,
how do you feel?
JENNIFER
Hung-over.
How about you?
JAY
I
feel like someone hit me in the head with a big
stick,
then put a used sweat sock filled with shit in
my
mouth.
JENNIFER
You
certainly have a way with words.
JAY
When
you work with words, words are your work.
JENNIFER
How's
your book coming?
JAY
Like
shit. I'm stalled out on the eighth rewrite.
JENNIFER
Why
don't you send it out?
JAY
It's
not done.
JENNIFER
When
will it be done?
JAY
How
am I supposed to know?
JENNIFER
Sometimes
you just have to say something's done
to
make it done.
JAY
Really?
I'm gonna get some aspirins, want some?
JENNIFER
O.K.
A clear end isn't always apparent.
Jay goes to the cupboard and gets a
big bottle of aspirin.
JAY
I
don't think that's true. I'm sure the end will make
itself
clear.
JENNIFER
How?
When you run out of paper?
Jay pops three aspirins in his mouth and chews them up, then hands the
bottle to Jen who can't believe her eyes.
JENNIFER
(grossed
out)
You
chew them?
JAY
(with
white teeth)
They
work faster that way.
JENNIFER
(sighs)
So,
look, about last night . . .
JAY
.
. . It was pretty good, wasn't it?
(rubs
his face)
I
think I'm going to have to have jaw surgery.
You
are one wild lady when you're smashed.
JENNIFER
Yeah,
tequila does something strange to me. I
forget
that I have any moral standards at all.
JAY
(grins)
I'll
make sure to keep a couple of big bottles in
the
house at all times. I just want you to know
that
I had a great time. Did you?
JENNIFER
(hesitant)
Well
. . . Yeah, I did.
JAY
Good.
I've got to go to work. There's extra keys
to
the cupboard right there.
(he
points)
My
number at work is on the board there and I'll
be
home about six-thirty if you want to get dinner
or
something. See ya.
Jay gives Jen a quick kiss on the cheek and exits.
Jen sits there looking dazed. She dumps some aspirins in her hand,
looks at them and winces.
JENNIFER
He
chews them?
Jen puts them in her mouth and slowly brings her teeth down on the aspirins.
The moment they crunch the taste is horrible and her face twists into
a knot. Jen quickly washes them down with hot coffee which just
makes it worse.
JENNIFER
Blahh!
INT. PETE'S APARTMENT - DAY
The telephone in Pete's place rings. Pete's hand comes into view
and picks up the receiver.
PETE
Hello?
He hears the voice of PHIL, Jen's old boyfriend, who has an Australian
accent.
PHIL
(O.S.)
Hoy.
Could I please speak with Jennifuh Moore?
Pete's eyebrows go up.
PETE
I'm
sorry, but Jennifer isn't staying here anymore.
Would
you like to know where she is?
PHIL
Yes,
I would.
PETE
All
right. She's staying with Jay Bennett. The
number
is 555-3133.
PHIL
Thanks
a lot, mate.
PETE
My
pleasure, mate.
Pete hangs up looking smug.
INT. JAY'S KITCHEN - DAY
Jen sits in front of her computer at the kitchen table. She is
having some kind of technical difficulty and she looks pissed off.
She pounds several keys hard, then pops out the floppy disk.
JENNIFER
Shit!
The phone rings, but Jen doesn't answer it. The machine gets it.
She hears Phil's voice leave a message.
PHIL
(O.S.)
Hoy,
this is Phil McElwee calling for Jennifuh
Moore.
You've got moy numbuh, Jen, please give
me
a call, OK? 'Boy.
The machine beeps off.
Jen sits looking at the phone machine with a tense expression.
JENNIFER
How'd
you find me, you son of a bitch? How?
She looks around as though she were
being watched.
DISSOLVE:
INT. JAY'S GARAGE - NIGHT
Jay steps up to the back door in his coat and tie, unlocks the door
and goes in.
INT. JAY'S KITCHEN - NIGHT
Jay has changed into jeans and a t-shirt. He sits at the kitchen
table smoking a cigarette and watching the clock -- 8:15. He puts
out his cigarette in a pile of seven other butts.
Jay hears the front door open and Jen enters.
JAY
Hello.
JENNIFER
Hi.
How are you?
JAY
Fine.
Jen sits down.
JENNIFER
Look,
Jay, I think we have to talk. Last night
was
a mistake.
JAY
Really?
Let's try it again and see if we can't fix it.
JENNIFER
That's
not what I mean. I think we ought to cool
out
a little. I came here 'cause I need a place to
stay.
JAY
So
what are you saying? You don't like me?
JENNIFER
I
like you, that's not it.
JAY
What
is it?
JENNIFER
(confused)
.
. . I'm just not sure what I'm doing right now.
JAY
Look,
Jen, I'm not a kid. I'm thirty-four years old
and
I've never been married. I've been on five hundred
dates
and I've had fifty girlfriends and none of them
worked
out, so my expectations are pretty low.
JENNIFER
(chuckles;
giving in)
Cast
in that light it doesn't sound like we've got any-
thing
to lose.
JAY
I
don't think we do. Want a margarita?
JENNIFER
Oh,
I don't know. I finally got my head feeling
better.
Jay stands and heads out of the room.
JAY
Another
margarita will make it even betterer.
I'll
just make 'em and if you want one you can
have
it.
JENNIFER
(her
head sags, but
she's
smiling)
If
they're there I'll drink them.
JAY
(O.S.)
Exactly.
I'll get my sombrero.
JENNIFER
(snaps
her fingers)
Ole´
JAY
(O.S.)
Let's
have a drink first.
Jen sighs wearily, rolls her her eyes
and shakes her head.
DISSOLVE:
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