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INT. ELEVATOR Inside the elevator. GERRIT
BUDSON
GERRIT
The elevator stops at the tenth floor and they get out. They saunter up the hallway and on a tray sitting outside a door is a champagne bottle which Budson snatches. There's still about a quarter of the bottle left. He takes a slug and hands it to Gerrit. GERRIT
BUDSON
Behind them the elevator opens and the O'Jays get out. Gerrit starts to run. GERRIT
Budson starts after him. BUDSON
As they turn the corner they can hear commotion down at the end of the hall. BUDSON
Budson grabs the champagne back and heads up the hall. Looking behind himself, Gerrit follows. GERRIT
As they walk up the hall the noise gets louder and louder. A good looking girl wearing only a bra and panties runs out of the last room down and into the hall. A big fellow with a completely bald head comes after her, grabs her and carries her back into the room kicking and laughing. Budson and Gerrit are wide eyed as they approach the last room, which has a sign beside the door reading "Presidential Suite." Just as Budson is about to knock the door swings open and a new-wave looking fellow with shaggy blond hair and a British accent answers. The noise level goes up by 300%. SHAGGY
BUDSON
SHAGGY
The British guy turns and goes in and Budson and Gerrit exchange a look and follow. The foyer opens up into the largest hotel room either of them have ever seen with really tacky contemporary furniture with a huge round waterbed covered with people, some dressed, some not. The ones that are clothed are in black spandex, black leather, studs and chains with wacky weird multi-colored hair and make up. One guy has a harpoon gun and is firing it at a dartboard. Another guy gets up and turns around and there is a big white X on his back. Budson freaks. He whispers in Gerrit's ear. BUDSON
TREVOR He points across the room to a thin, tall rocker with black spandex pants, no shirt on his hairy chest and long hair who backs into a vase and knocks it to the floor. TREVOR
BUDSON
TREVOR BUDSON
Trevor lets out a disgusted laugh and points across the room. TREVOR
They look and see Derek in the corner of the room talking to Bozo and Oopsy the Clown, both of whom have cigarettes and drinks. GERRIT Trevor walks away. TREVOR
Budson and Gerrit saunter over to the bar and make themselves a drink. Budson points at Ian, the guitarist. BUDSON
Budson shuts up as Ian comes walking over and begin sloppily making himself a drink. BUDSON Ian smiles at Budson. IAN Budson is shocked as Ian moves closer to him. BUDSON IAN Budson grabs Gerrit's arm and they quickly make an exit. EXT. GAS STATION - NIGHT At a small gas station on a dark back road a school bus pulls in with "The Polka Dots" painted on the side. The driver, who is wearing a black and white polka dot shirt and an untied red bow tie, leans his head out the window to the station attendant. DRIVER The driver puts a cigarette in his mouth and attempts to light it, but the lighter, doesn't work. ATTENDANT DRIVER ATTENDANT DRIVER The Polka Dots drive off into the night. INT. X'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT Meanwhile, back at X's party... Gerrit is speaking to one of the members of the band, who has a Liverpool accent. GERRIT
BAND
MEMBER This doesn't make Gerrit feel any better. Just then the guy fires the harpoon into the side of the waterbed, which begins to leak water out onto the carpet. Budson is talking to Derek Domino who is plucking at an unamplified electric guitar. He has a Liverpool accent. DEREK
BUDSON
Derek and Budson look at each other. The guy with the harpoon gun fires a harpoon through the ceiling. INT. THE ROOM ABOVE The point of the harpoon comes up through the carpet of the room above. Bare feet come walking past and step on the point. FOOT
INT. X'S PARTY And the water from the waterbed continues to leak onto the carpet, creating a little pond. INT. THE ROOM BELOW In the room below, the water has seeped through the plaster on the ceiling and is dripping on the forehead of the man asleep in the bed below, with his wife asleep beside him. Drip, drip, right between his eyes, which wince every time a drop hits him. His eyes snap open and he's in a total panic, sweat breaking out all over him. MAN
He is strapped to a bamboo cot and North Vietnamese soldiers stand in front of him brandishing AK-47 machine guns and machetes in his face. MAN
They hold a bayonet to his neck and swear at him in Vietnamese. INT. X'S PARTY Budson and Gerrit look at all the pretty girls. GERRIT BUDSON
Ian comes walking past and smiles at Budson. IAN
INT. ROOM BELOW The P.O.W. below has yet to leak any vital information to the North Vietnamese, when suddenly a hand grabs his shoulder and with a massive shudder he comes awake. The threatening soldiers are gone. All that remains is his wife, an oriental woman, in bed beside him. WIFE MAN WIFE He rolls over and so does she and they both fall back asleep. She rolls a bit closer to her husband and now the water is dripping on her forehead. Her eyes snap open and she is being held captive by American soldiers with M-16 rifles. INT. X'S PARTY A good-looking GROUPIE girl takes hold of Gerrit's hand and leads him into an adjoining room. She takes off his clothes and tosses them into a large pile of everyone else's clothes. She begins to slowly and sensuously remove her clothing, rubbing each item all over herself before dropping it at Gerrit's feet. When she is standing in nothing more than black lace panties, Gerrit reaches out, takes a hold of her waist and pulls her to him. GERRIT She hauls off and slaps his face. GROUPIE She leaves in a huff. Gerrit holds his reddening cheek. GERRIT ANOTHER PART OF THE PARTY Budson is on the waterbed with another groupies girl. He can see himself in the mirror above on the ceiling. Written on the mirror is; "Objects may appear larger than they really are." He and the girl roll over a couple of times and end up with Budson's arm underneath her. BUDSON
She stands up and walks away and Budson finds that his hand is on the bald drummer's head. He recoils in alarm. The drummer smiles at him. EXT. HOTEL - DAWN The sun begins to rise behind the large hotel. INT. HOTEL - DAWN In the hotel lobby the elevator door opens and Budson steps out looking rather bedraggled. He crosses over to the vending machines against the wall and buys a candy bar and a pack of cigarettes. Off to Budson's left, two FAT, UGLY horrible groupie girls are talking. FAT
& UGLY JUST
UGLY Budson looks to his right and coming through the front door of the hotel are five policemen who are met by the hotel's manager. MANAGER
COP
MANAGER
COP
Budson quickly dashes into the elevator and heads back up to the tenth floor. INT. X'S ROOM He dashes back to the Presidential Suite and finds everybody crashed out all over the place. He finds Gerrit off by himself, asleep on a couch in his underwear. Budson shakes him and puts his hand over Gerrit's mouth. BUDSON
GERRIT
Gerrit starts to look around groggily and Budson grabs him and pulls him to his feet. GERRIT
BUDSON
Budson looks around and on the floor clothes lie everywhere. He grabs a pile and they skedaddle. INT. HALL Just as they get out the door and around the corner, the cops and the manager arrive and begin knocking loudly. Budson hands the naked Gerrit the clothes that he grabbed. BUDSON
From the Presidential Suite, outraged Liverpudlians can be heard hollering. INT. HOTEL LOBBY - DAY When Budson and Gerrit exit the elevator in the lobby, Gerrit is attired in black spandex pants, a black leather harness with studs and a white rhinestone vest with X on the back. GERRIT BUDSON The two pissed-off fat ugly autograph girls spot Gerrit and approach him. The one with the autograph book really looks mad. FAT
& UGLY Gerrit is taken aback and insulted. GERRIT The fat ugly girl turns into a lunatic monster and attacks Gerrit with her fists. FAT
& UGLY Budson tries to pull her off and she decks him then slams Gerrit in the gut. The other girl starts to go for Budson and he and Gerrit run for their lives. EXT. HOTEL - MORNING They leave the hotel and dash up the street in the morning sunlight. INT. HOTEL LOBBY A moment later in the hotel lobby the elevator opens and the O'Jays step out. The big drummer and bass player are mad. DRUMMER As they get to the door the other elevator opens and the members of X escorted by the police come out. They are all dressed in their usual outfits, all except Derek Domino, that is, who is dressed in Gerrit's clothes. DEREK Just then the bass player and drummer from the O'Jays spot Derek dressed as Gerrit. BASSIST They move in on Derek menacingly. EXT. STREET - DAY Budson and Gerrit walk up the street, Gerrit having great difficulty balancing in his black leather wing- toed high heel boots. GERRIT BUDSON GERRIT Gerrit pats his pockets and quickly realizes he's in different clothing. GERRIT He finds, however, in his rhinestone vest pocket a piece of lavender paper, upon which is written … GERRIT They are just passing a phone booth. BUDSON
GERRIT
Budson puts the money in and dials. Someone answers. FEMALE
VOICE Budson assumes a phony Liverpool accent. BUDSON
FEMALE
VOICE BUDSON
Wendy is in fact the horrible ugly fat girl from the hotel. FAT
& UGLY He slams the phone down. BUDSON
They continue wandering. They cut through an alley and come out on a street that is lined with people. GERRIT
Suddenly a group of ten guys on bicycles with helmets go zooming past, then a group of five more. BUDSON
They check to see that the way is clear and cross the street. They cut through another alley and come out on another street that is lined with people. As they move into the crowd a parade comes past with baton twirlers, a marching band and clowns. GERRIT
BUDSON
GERRIT
Gerrit's high heel gets caught in a crack in the pavement, he trips, reaches out and grabs a hand painted wooden sign with an arrow pointing to the right. As he grabs it the sign turns and faces left. Budson and Gerrit continue wandering and head off away from all the people. Budson pulls out a Payday candy bar. BUDSON
GERRIT
Meanwhile the bike racers get to the end of the street, see a hand painted wooden sign with an arrow pointing left and turn left. The parade, however, gets to the end of the street and turns right. There is a terrible sound of mayhem and destruction. Gerrit and Budson turn to see bicycles and clowns and members of the marching band go sailing through the air. EXT. MALL RESIDENCE BACKYARD - DAY Cynthia Mall is down on her knees in her yard planting flowers when she hears the horrible destruction in the distance. INT. MALL'S BEDROOM Mr. Mall is awakened. He sits up in a daze, then makes a big realization. MR.
MALL He gets out of bed and walks into his study next door. There on the desk lie all the tests and his grade book. MR.
MALL He turns and goes downstairs to the kitchen and his wife comes in wearing her gardening gloves. CYNTHIA
MR.
MALL CYNTHIA
MR.
MALL CYNTHIA
MR.
MALL CYNTHIA
Mall shakes his fist. EXT. STREET - DAY Budson and Gerrit wander aimlessly talking. GERRIT
BUDSON
GERRIT
BUDSON
GERRIT
BUDSON
GERRIT
EXT. DIAG - DAY Just up ahead, across the street on campus, there seems to be quite a few people gathered. As they walk closer they see that there are really a lot of people, a thousand maybe and they're filling the diag, the area between the school buildings. GERRIT
Budson grabs his arm. BUDSON
GERRIT
Budson looks him in the eyes. BUDSON They cross the street into the throng. GERRIT BUDSON
And indeed they have, there are young folk, teachers, many hippies and ex-hippies, joints, pipes, hookas, bongs, even a guy smoking out of a French Horn. Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young playing "Woodstock" can be heard. Some real burn-outs have what looks like a Rube Goldberg contraption hooked to a car battery with an exhaust pipe on the end. Budson and Gerrit step up. GERRIT INVENTOR BUDSON They switch it on and lights flash, things begin to whiz and spin and sputter. Many people watch expectantly. Out of the exhaust pipe an onion ring drops out. The burn out shrugs. INVENTOR Budson turns to a group of thirty-five year old hippies wearing buckskin and moccasins smoking hash from a stone pipe. They hand it to Budson who takes a hit and hands it to a girl that looks like BUFFY Saint-Marie. BUFFY BUDSON The thirty-five year old hippies are speechless and our guys move on through the crowd. A FAT GUY comes up to them with a paper plate of brownies. FAT
GUY BUDSON The fat guy sees Gerrit in his punk finery. FAT
GUY Gerrit turns around and casually points at the X on his back. FAT
GUY Gerrit assumes a very fake British accent. GERRIT FAT
GUY Gerrit signs the paper plate and they each get two brownies. Gerrit scarfs his right down. GERRIT BUDSON Meanwhile, a little port-a-stage trailer is pulled into the diag and a microphone is set up. A BALDING fellow taps on it, looks at his watch, looks up and smiles. BALDY
The crowd half-heartedly replies. CROWD
BALDY
Now a bit more enthusiastically. CROWD
BALDY
The crowd's applause begins to break up as they see eight older men in black polyester pants and black and white polka dot shirts with red bow ties take the stage with among other instruments, an accordion. The guy who was driving the bus and plays the horn turns to Baldy. DRIVER
BALDY
DRIVER
BALDY
The crowd is beginning to get restless; they want music. The Polka Dots all look at each other, shrug, then go into "Beer Barrel Polka". Gerrit turns to Budson snapping his fingers. GERRIT
Budson is embarrassed for him. BUDSON
Two guys circulate through the crowd handing out flyers that read. "Blow Out Open House Party, $3.00 all the beer you can drink". With a map, 1212 Riverview. The two guys stop and talk to each other. PARTIER
#1 PARTIER
#2 PARTIER
#1 PARTIER
#2 EXT. STREET - DAY Mr. Mall is holding a full grocery bag and walking up the street talking to himself. MR.
MALL He turns the corner and there before him is a huge mass of people and they're all smoking dope. MR.
MALL He is engulfed by the crowd and soon runs into a group of people, all teachers, that he knows. They are smoking a long Moroccan pipe. TEACHER
#1 He offers the pipe and Mall shifts the grocery bag to one hand and takes the pipe with the other. MR.
MALL TEACHER
#1 Mall takes a big toke. TEACHER
#2 Mall blows out the smoke. MR.
MALL TEACHER
#2 Mall takes another puff. MR.
MALL As pot smoke wafts up past The Polka Dots, they break into a polka version of Jimi Hendrix's "Purple Haze." The audience loves it. One of the Polka Dots plays the accordion with his teeth. Gerrit is stoned out of his mind and Budson is laughing at him, because he's just as stoned. BUDSON GERRIT
Gerrit stumbles into a group smoking a joint. They all turn and look at him and it's Wendy with the red pigtails from the hamburger joint, the little Dutch boy from the paint, and the inflatable Michelin man. MICHELIN
MAN GERRIT
He shakes his head and suddenly it's just a red headed girl, a blond guy wearing blue, and a fat fellow. GERRIT
He turns and there is Smokey the Bear looming over him with a giant joint in his mouth. SMOKEY
Budson, meanwhile, has wandered over to another group of people who have a hookah with eight hoses. These people seem like their from another planet. BUDSON
ALIEN
BUDSON
Budson puts the hose to his mouth and inhales ... ... And he is blasting through the universe ass-over-teakettle at 1000-mph past galaxies and solar systems with stars shooting past and E=MC2 and ... ... Wham! He's standing with the hose in his hand only it's not the hose, it's a Rastafarian's dreadlock. Budson blows out the smoke. The Rastafarian turns around and takes back his hair. RASTAFARIAN
Mall is pretty high, looks at his watch and decides it's time to go. MR.
MALL TEACHER
#1 MR.
MALL TEACHER
#1 Mall leaves, slightly weaving, clutching his grocery bag. A group of people are looking at the flyers for the big blow-out party and turn to the teachers with the Moroccan pipe. QUESTIONER
Mr.. Mall's good friend points. TEACHER
#1 QUESTIONER
The Polka Dots have their shirts open, bandannas around their heads and are in the midst of smashing their instruments, the accordion player squirts his smashed accordion with lighter fluid and ignites it. EXT. MALL RESIDENCE - DAY Mall gets to his front door and finds it locked. He rings the bell and a pretty French maid answers the door. MAID
MR.
MALL MAID
She enters the house and Mall follows behind looking at her legs. INT. MALL'S HOUSE Mall takes the grocery bag to the kitchen where he encounters his wife. MR.
MALL CYNTHIA MR.
MALL CYNTHIA
MR.
MALL She looks him in the eyes. CYNTHIA
Mall puts down the bag and walks away. MR.
MALL CYNTHIA
MR.
MALL Mall heads toward the stairs. Cynthia looks into the grocery bag and pulls out a bag of those orange squishy Circus Peanuts. CYNTHIA
MR.
MALL CYNTHIA
Mr. Mall becomes righteously indignant. MR.
MALL EXT. HOUSE UP THE STREET - EVENING Up the street, the two fellows that were handing out flyers are rolling beer kegs into the backyard. PARTIER
#1 PARTIER
#2 They roll the keg next to five others. EXT. MALL'S HOUSE - EVENING As the sun sets slowly in the west, the doorbell rings at the Mall residence. The French maid answers the door and there stands John Quaderer, the burnout that was asleep in class. QUADERER
MAID
QUADERER
Quaderer removes his coat and takes a bong out of it. The maid takes the coat upstairs and tosses it on the couch in Mr. Mall's study. Cynthia encounters the maid in the upstairs hallway, still dressing. CYNTHIA
MAID
CYNTHIA
Ding-dong. The doorbell rings. CYNTHIA
MAID
CYNTHIA
She goes back in the bedroom and shakes her sleeping husband. CYNTHIA
He can't get up. MR.
MALL CYNTHIA Downstairs, the maid opens the door and eight guys and girls, all pretty stoned and raving to party, file in. The maid points to the bar. MAID
GUESTS
Behind them ten more people come in, as well as quite a few people who are going straight to the backyard, where the dinner table and tiki torches are set up. Quaderer is getting himself a drink and a guy comes up beside him. DEALER
QUADERER
DEALER
The guy opens up a piece of tin foil and reveals twenty tiny little pills of bright blue and red. Quaderer goes to reach for one and knocks the tin foil out of the guy's hand and into the punch bowl! DEALER
He plucks the tin foil out and all the hits of microdot are gone. QUADERER
The guy does take it and Quaderer sets his drink down and takes a cup of punch. The maid comes up to the refreshment table, sets down a bowl of M&Ms and a bowl of Circus peanuts, then takes two glasses of punch which she fills right up to the top and heads through the ever-thickening crowd toward the steps. The cups are too full and before they spill she takes a big sip of each. In the master bedroom's bathroom, Mr. Mall is blow drying his hair, wearing a towel, and Cynthia is doing her makeup. With a smile the maid enters and gives them each a cup of punch. They both take big sips. The maid looks Mr. Mall up and down, eyes his bare, hairy chest and gives him a grin. Mall sees her, then glances in the mirror and sees his protruding belly. He sucks in his gut and the towel drops off. Cynthia and the Maid both burst out laughing. He quickly retrieves the towel. EXT. HOUSE UP THE STREET - NIGHT A tumbleweed blows across the lawn of the house up the street, past the two entrepreneurial partiers all by themselves and their six kegs of beer. PARTIER
#1 The other guy chuckles. Suddenly the hedges behind them part revealing an angry middle-aged NEIGHBOR. NEIGHBOR The two partiers dismally walk around to the front of the house and see lines of cars and groups of people walking past carrying six packs and bottles of wine. PARTIER
#1 They follow the people over to Mall's house and the crowd's beginning to get enormous, amongst them are Gerrit and Budson, both so blown away they are just following the people in front of them. BOTH
PARTIERS INT. MALL'S HOUSE - NIGHT Mr. and Mrs. Mall are both very nicely dressed in evening wear and are about to leave their room. CYNTHIA
Mall blinks and gives his head a shake. MR.
MALL CYNTHIA
MR.
MALL CYNTHIA
She opens the door and there is a lot of noise and music. CYNTHIA
They get to the top of the steps and realize it's more like one hundred and fifty. They are stunned beyond words or comprehension. Budson and Gerrit are jostled through the living room and end up near the refreshment table where the French maid hands them each a cup of punch. GERRIT
BUDSON
MAID EXT. RIVERVIEW STREET - NIGHT A nicely dressed older couple, the BOSS and his WIFE, get out of a Cadillac and are shocked by the mayhem going on around them -- lines of parked cars, lines of traffic at a standstill, groups and groups of people all heading in the same direction. WIFE
The two partiers from up the street are rolling their kegs across the lawns toward the party. On one slightly steep lawn they lose control of a keg and it goes cascading down the incline, knocking the Boss down and smashing into the side of the Cadillac, leaving a tremendous dent. PARTIER
#2 INT. MALL'S HOUSE Mrs. Mall is really mad, but there are so many people that she can't be heard above the crowd. She looks out the glass back doors and sees hundreds of people in the back yard standing where her flower beds once were. She looks like she might spontaneously combust and shuts her eyes for a moment to calm down. When she opens them everyone at the party has metamorphosed into reptiles with scaly skin and long tongues. CYNTHIA
She shuts her eyes tightly, then opens them and now everyone has become elephants with trunks. CYNTHIA She shuts her eyes again, opens them and directly in front of her is her Boss. She screams and runs away. WIFE The Boss and his Wife shrug and both sip their cups of punch. Mr. Mall has found a spot on the couch with the French maid and the two of them are staring into each others' eyes and touching each others' faces. GERRIT
BUDSON
Gerrit's head is bobbing around like his neck is rubber. GERRIT
The Boss and his Wife are just getting off and are feeling great. BOSS
WIFE
Gerrit makes his way through the crowd and up the stairs. He first looks in the bedroom and finds John Quaderer crashed on the bed, so he goes into the study/coat room and shuts the door. He takes two steps into the room, loses his balance and grabs the back of the chair at the desk. Lowering himself into the chair he sighs. GERRIT
Everything is sort of a blur. It all comes into focus and there before him are all the final test papers and Mr. Mall's grade book. GERRIT
He picks up the grade book and it says "Mr. Mall" on it an Gerrit knows he's not hallucinating. He opens it up and finds his name, beside which is: C-D-E-E-D-E. GERRIT He tosses the grade book back on the desk where it collides with a can of pens and pencils which falls over and out rolls a bottle of white out. Gerrit catches it before it hits the floor. GERRIT
Mr. Mall and the French maid are kissing passionately and touching each other all over. Finally, the maid stands, takes Mall's hand and leads him upstairs. Gerrit applies a dab of white out to one of his many E's and it disappears. He blows on it to make it dry. The party is absolutely raging. Cynthia attempts to make her way through the crowd as her husband and the Maid head up the stairs, her hand on his butt, his hand under her little skirt. Gerrit writes in a C in place of the E and whites out another E. As he pauses for it to dry the room shifts from bright pink to turquoise and the carpet seems to have a life of its own. Cynthia gets though the crowd and starts up the steps, but finds them crooked and rubbery and difficult to scale. Mall and the maid open the door to the bedroom and find John Quaderer, and now several other people, too, crashed out on the bed. The maid goes to open the door of the study just as Cynthia appears at the top of the steps. Mr. Mall sees her, blinks, then opens his eyes and sees Cynthia dressed in a buckskin dress, her hair in braids, a knapsack on her back. MR.
MALL CYNTHIA
Gerrit has just finished writing in another C, hears Mall and his wife outside the door and quickly shuts the grade book. MAID
The Maid backs away and abruptly turns and trips down the steps. Gerrit watches from a small crack in the door. MR.
MALL He kisses her and she kisses him back. After a moment Mall reaches out and opens the study door and leads his wife inside. Gerrit is nowhere to be seen. Mr. Mall and his wife lie down on the pile if coats and continue kissing, then begin to make love. Gerrit is underneath couch holding his breath. EXT. SOMEONE'S LAWN - NIGHT The Boss and his Wife are doing donuts on someone's lawn in their big dented Cadillac. They are hooting and hollering and having a great time. EXT. MALL'S BACKYARD - NIGHT Budson is in the backyard chugalugging beer with a whole bunch of people. EXT. BACKYARD NEXT DOOR - NIGHT Two eight year old boys, SCOTT and MATT, watch the party through the hedges. "Famous Monsters Of Hollywood" Magazines in each of their hands. SCOTT
MATT
Just as they start to move a MOTHER'S VOICE rings out from inside the house.
SCOTT
The two boys look at their magazines. The Werewolf is on the cover attired in tattered, shredded clothes. EXT. MALL'S BACKYARD - NIGHT Gerrit steps out into the backyard and takes a deep breath. He takes a glass of beer and strolls through the crowd until he reaches a vantage point and spots Budson. He begins to head over to him when he also sees Tim Chudnow, the football player, looking bigger and meaner than he did before. Suddenly Tim Chudnow spots Budson, who does not see him. Chudnow makes his hands into fists and moves in on Budson. CHUDNOW
Gerrit picks up an empty keg and smashes Chudnow on the back of the head. Chudnow turns slowly holding his head. Gerrit cowers in abject fear. Tim Chudnow shuts his eyes tightly, shakes his head, then opens them and he's on a football field. He's got the ball and the other team`s after him. He runs madly through the crowd. EXT. BACKYARD NEXT DOOR - NIGHT Chudnow comes through the hedges and his clothes are tattered and torn just like the Wolfman's. Scott and Matt scream at the sight of the monster and run away. EXT. WILLY LAKE MARKET - MORNING It is morning and eight cars idle in front of Willy Lake Market. Many people stand impatiently at the door. CUSTOMER
#1 CUSTOMER
#2 Another car pulls up and the phone begins ringing inside. EXT. LAWN - MORNING Gerrit's mustang is parked on the grass, the door open and a dim light shining from inside. A few feet from the car is an empty beer bottle, then a smashed pack of cigarettes, a shoe, then Gerrit, his face in the shrubs. He moans and turns his head, pain shoots in all directions. His hair sticks straight up. GERRIT He is still dressed in his X outfit. He crawls over and shakes Budson. GERRIT Budson opens his eyes and looks around. BUDSON GERRIT Budson crawls over to the cigarettes and lights one. BUDSON GERRIT Budson looks at his watch. BUDSON GERRIT
Budson is looking closely at his watch. BUDSON
GERRIT
BUDSON
GERRIT
They get into the car, turn the key and wha...wha... click! The battery is dead. Gerrit is now frantic. GERRIT
BUDSON
They roll the car up the street, pop the clutch, the engine starts and they drive to school. EXT. WYLIE E. GROVES HIGH SCHOOL - DAY Just as the Mustang pulls up the bell rings for fourth hour. GERRIT He's resigned to his doomed fate. BUDSON
They enter the building and everyone turns to look at Gerrit; his black spandex pants, black leather harness, rhinestone vest and hair sticking straight up. GERRIT
INT. CLASSROOM They get to class and Gerrit sits down next to Ann, who is looking at him totally astonished. GERRIT
ANN
GERRIT
ANN
GERRIT
Budson nods. BUDSON
GERRIT
Ann is overwhelmed. ANN
GERRIT
Just then Mr. Mall enters looking rather weary with dark circles under his eyes. MR.
MALL There is a giant moan. ANN Mr. Mall pauses for a moment, glances down at his grade book and rubs the end of his finger over the rough spots of white out. He continues. MR.
MALL Abrams nods. MR.
MALL Gerrit turns and looks at Budson who runs his finger across his throat like he's dead. Gerrit whispers to Ann. GERRIT
Ann shakes her head morosely. ANN
Mall continues. MR.
MALL BUDSON
The whole class laughs. MR.
MALL This brings on a round of applause. BUDSON Gerrit smiles and whispers to Ann. GERRIT ANN GERRIT ANN Mall continues. MR.
MALL Ann looks at Gerrit who smiles and nods. ANN MR.
MALL Ann looks at Gerrit in utter amazement. ANN GERRIT Ann smiles at him. ANN GERRIT ANN GERRIT ANN GERRIT ANN GERRIT ANN INT. HALLWAY BY CLASSROOM Gerrit and Ann leave class together. As Budson passes Mr. Mall he winks. BUDSON Budson leaves. John Quaderer, who, as usual, is asleep on his desk, suddenly wakes up in a panic and holds up his hand. QUADERER INT. HALLWAY As Ann and Gerrit walk up the hall he realizes something. GERRIT
He reaches into his pocket and removes the little box of earrings. Ann opens the box and there is a little card which she reads. ANN
Ann looks at Gerrit quizzically. Gerrit takes Ann's arm and leads her away. GERRIT
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