DISSOLVE TO:

INT. JO ANN FABRIC STORE - DAY

Trudy stands behind the counter waiting on a VERY OLD LADY who is obviously impatient.

                                                                 VERY OLD LADY
                                How long do you intend to make me wait?  I
                                have a thousand things to do today.

                                                                 TRUDY
                                Just one moment, Mrs. Webb.  Laura's getting
                                it.
                                                           (turns and yells)
                                Hey, Laura!  Make it today!

A moment later Laura steps out of the backroom holding a bolt of cloth with a particularly ugly pattern of birds.

                                                                 LAURA
                                Here it is.  It was at the very bottom of a box.

                                                                 VERY OLD LADY
                                I hope it's not dirty.

                                                                 LAURA
                                It's perfectly clean, I assure you.

She hands it to Trudy who quickly rings it up.  Trudy turns to put the cloth in a bag.  Both she and Laura simultaneously see a male figure through the window, obscured by the frosted glass.  He looks like he's loitering in front of the store.  They both stop what they're doing and look at each other-is that who I think it is?  But, of course, it's not.  The figure walks away.  Laura looks down sadly, then heads for the backroom.  Trudy watches Laura go.

                                                                 VERY OLD LADY
                                Don't you even say thank you anymore?

                                                                 TRUDY
                                I'm sorry.  Thank you very much, Mrs. Webb.
                                We appreciate the business.

                                                                 VERY OLD LADY
                                I should think you would.

Mrs. Webb leaves.  Trudy turns and looks at the backroom, then shakes her head.

                                                                                                       DISSOLVE TO:

INT. TODD'S APARTMENT - DAY

Todd is wearing his suit and tie and is speaking on the telephone.

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (into phone)
                                Could I please get a cab at 819 North
                                Alta Vista Boulevard.

                                                                 DISPATCHER (O.S.)
                                Going where?

                                                                 TODD
                                Palmdale.

                                                                 DISPATCHER
                                                           (amazed)
                                Palmdale?  That's an expensive run.

                                                                 TODD
                                You're telling me.  How long?

                                                                 DISPATCHER
                                Within thirty minutes.

                                                                 TODD
                                Thanks.

He hangs up and sighs.  The phone rings.  Todd answers and it's his District Manager from Detroit, Mr. Crispin.  We INTERCUT between Todd and...

INT. MR. CRISPIN'S OFFICE/ DETROIT - DAY

Mr. Crispin sits at a desk before a large picture window overlooking the icy Detroit River and snow-covered Windsor, Ontario.

                                                                 TODD
                                Hello?

                                                                 MR. CRISPIN
                                Todd?  This is Michael Crispin from Detroit.

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (smiles)
                                Hello, Mr. Crispin.  How are you?

                                                                 MR. CRISPIN
                                I'm fine, but you don't seem to be doing very
                                well.
                                                           (opens a folder in front of him)
                                I just looked at the quarterly sales report and
                                you only sold one house.  Another salesman
                                there sold fourteen.  Two in one day.

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (sighs deeply)
                                I know.

                                                                 MR. CRIPIN
                                So what's the problem?

                                                                 TODD
                                I don't know.  It's a very different market.  I
                                guess I'm having difficulty adjusting.

                                                                 MR. CRISPIN
                                I guess so.  You know I recommended you
                                for that job so your performance is a reflection
                                on me.  This is going to cause me a fair amount
                                of embarrassment within the company.

                                                                 TODD
                                I'm really sorry about that, Mr. Crispin.  I'm trying
                                my best.  But these are crummy houses built in
                                the desert selling for a lot of money.  I just feel
                                bad trying to trick people into buying them.

                                                                 MR. CRISPIN
                                                           (shocked)
                                Well.  I can see you've got entirely the wrong
                                attitude for the job.  Nobody's tricking anybody
                                into anything.  You've totally lost your perspective.
                                I wasn't sure I'd have to do this, but, I'm removing
                                you from the job.

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (stunned)
                                Removing me?
                                                           (brightens up)
                                That means I can come back to the Cheboygan
                                office, right?

                                                                 MR. CRISPIN
                                There is no Cheboygan office.  We closed it.

Todd is totally shocked.  He can't believe it.

                                                                 TODD
                                What?

                                                                 MR. CRISPIN
                                We closed it.  Once you left it wasn't doing any
                                business at all.  It doesn't matter, it was never
                                an important location.

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (at a loss)
                                But..
                                                           (gets an idea)
                                If I come back you could reopen it.

                                                                 MR. CRISPIN
                                It's not worth it.  I'm sorry, Todd, but you're
                                terminated.  Don't take it personally, it's business.
                                You understand, right?

Todd drops onto the bed with the receiver in his lap.

                                                                 MR. CRISPIN (O.S.)
                                Todd...?  Todd...?  Hello...?

Todd hangs up the phone.  He sits on the bed in the morning sunlight frozen, hardly breathing.  Something else of importance just snapped.

The phone rings startling him.  Todd picks it up.

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (flatly)
                                Hello?

                                                                 REPAIR MAN (O.S.)
                                Todd Holman, please?

                                                                 TODD
                                Speaking.

                                                                 REPAIR MAN
                                Mr. Holman, this J.G. Auto Repair.  We have
                                your '82 Chevette.

                                                                 TODD
                                Yes?

                                                                 REPAIR MAN
                                Your car's got a lot of problems, I'm sorry to say.
                                You need to replace the starter, the solenoid, the
                                flywheel, the plugs, the rings, the carburetor, the
                                alternator and the generator, not to mention you've
                                got a cracked block.  Your tires don't look very good,
                                either.

                                                                 TODD
                                What do you suggest?

                                                                 REPAIR MAN
                                Junk it.

Todd shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath.  He looks like he's in physical pain.

                                                                 REPAIR MAN
                                ...Mr. Holman? ...Hello?

                                                                 TODD
                                Fine.  Junk it.

                                                                 REPAIR MAN
                                All right.  We'll send you a bill for the labor.
                                That's $500, plus $50 for towing.

                                                                 TODD
                                Perfect.

He hangs up.  He sits for a long second in his frozen position, then finally looks up at the ceiling.

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (to God)
                                This is a test, right?  This can't be for no
                                reason, it's to see what I'm made of.
                                                           (with conviction; Todd
                                                           points upward)
                                All right, fine!  I'm made of a lot tougher
                                stuff than you think!  I can make good here
                                or anywhere else!  The location doesn't
                                matter!

A horn honks outside.  Todd looks out the window and see it's the cab.

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (nodding)
                                Great.

He grabs his checkbook and opens it.

                                                                 TODD
                                Five thousand and sixty-eight dollars.  Plenty
                                of money.

He exits.

INT. CAB - DAY

Todd gets into the cab.  The CAB DRIVER turns to him.

                                                                 CAB DRIVER
                                Where to?

                                                                 TODD
                                Take me to a used car lot.

                                                                 CAB DRIVER
                                In Palmdale?

                                                                 TODD
                                No, around here.

                                                                 CAB DRIVER
                                I thought you were going to Palmdale?

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (intense)
                                I changed my mind.  Let's move it.

The cab drives away.

EXT. USED CAR LOT - DAY

A bearded CAR SALESMAN leads Todd across a used car lot.  The crazy glint still shows in Todd's eyes.

                                                                 CAR SALESMAN
                                Now, how much was it you wanted to spend?

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (flatly)
                                About a thousand.  Maybe twelve hundred

                                                                 CAR SALESMAN
                                                           (frowns)
                                That's not much.  How about this 1979 Imperial.
                                Totally loaded, power everything, I could let you
                                have it for, say, two thousand.

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (intense)
                                All right, I'm gonna give you one more chance,
                                then I'm outta here.  A thousand to twelve hundred,
                                and small.  Don't try to hustle me.

The Car Salesman puts up his hands and makes a face.

                                                                 CAR SALESMAN
                                Oooh, tough guy.  What do you do?  Salesman?

                                                                 TODD
                                Yeah.  Real estate.

                                                                 CAR SALESMAN
                                That's where the real money is.  Why're you
                                buyin' such a cheap car?

                                                                 TODD
                                None of your business.  And don't hustle me.

                                                                 CAR SALESMAN
                                                           (smiles)
                                You already said that.
                                                           (he stops in front of
                                                           a red '81 Ford Escort)
                                Here's your car. '81 Escort, no frills, dependable
                                transportation, 75,000 miles, runs like a charm.

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (struck)
                                My girlfriend's got the same car.  Newer, though.

                                                                 CAR SALESMAN
                                                           (grins slightly)
                                Really?  What a coincidence.

                                                                 TODD
                                How much?

                                                                 CAR SALESMAN
                                                           (pauses)
                                Fifteen hundred.

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (starting to get angry)
                                Look, I said-

                                                                 CAR SALESMAN
                                                           (sincerely; cutting him off)
                                -Hey, I'm sorry, but this is as close as I can
                                come to meeting all your demands.  It's small,
                                it's reliable, it's cheap and your girlfriend's got
                                the same car.  Is she wrong?  I really can't do
                                and better and I don't think you can, either.

Todd considers all of this for a moment, then looks up.

                                                                 TODD
                                Let me test drive it.

                                                                 CAR SALESMAN
                                                           (nods)
                                Right.  I'll go get the keys and a plate.  I'll be
                                right back.  Wait here.
                                                           (he walks away grinning
                                                           to himself; quietly)
                                Sucker.

EXT. L.A. AUTO INSURANCE OFFICE - DAY

This is a small insurance office on Vermont.  The sign is in English and Korean.  Todd's new red Escort pulls into the parking lot and stops.  He gets out of the car, but it keeps sputtering and dieseling, black smoke puffing from the tailpipe.  Todd makes a move back toward the car and it stops.  He turns away and it backfires loudly.

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (to himself)
                                I can't believe it, he hustled me.

He heads inside.

INT. L.A. AUTO INSURANCE OFFICE - DAY

Todd sits uncomfortably at a desk before a female, Korean INSURANCE AGENT with her hair pulled tightly back in a knot.  She types into a computer whose monitor faces away from Todd.

                                                                 INSURANCE AGENT
                                Thirty-two years old, male, living in West Hollywood,
                                one accident when you were eighteen, no outstanding
                                tickets.

She enters the information and shakes her head glumly.  Todd feels like he's being booked for child molestation.

                                                                 INSURANCE AGENT
                                That will be $2800 for one year of coverage, without
                                collision, payable in full in advance because you're
                                not a state resident.

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (aghast)
                                Twenty-eight hundred dollars!?  Without collision?
                                But I was paying six hundred dollars a year in
                                Michigan with collision.

                                                                 INSURANCE AGENT
                                This isn't Michigan, Mr. Holman.

Todd takes out his checkbook.

                                                                 TODD
                                No kidding.

                                                                                                       DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. LAURA'S HOUSE/CHEBOYGAN - NIGHT

Laura's house is a big, old, twenties, brick house with a snow-covered gabled roof.  Icicles hang from the windowsills.  The bright winter moon shines in the sky.

INT. LAURA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Laura lies in her moonlit room in her big bed alone under many covers and quilts with her eyes wide open.  Finally, she sits up and turns on the light.  She looks at the digital clock on the bed stand.  It's 12:47.  Laura counts on her fingers.

                                                                 LAURA
                                Eleven forty-seven, ten forty-seven, nine
                                forty-seven.  He should be home.

She picks up the phone and dials a long distance number.  The phone rings and rings and rings...

INT. TODD'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Todd's apartment is empty.  His phone rings and rings and rings... A fist beats on the wall and the NEIGHBOR's voice is heard.

                                                                 NEIGHBOR (O.S.)
                                Shut up with that Goddamn phone!

INT. LAURA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Laura lets it ring a few times more, then hangs up.  She looks infuriated.

                                                                 LAURA
                                Why don't you have an answering machine?

She sits in bed feeling distressed, then turns off the light and lies back down.  She stares at the ceiling with an unhappy expression.

                                                                                                       DISSOLVE TO:

INT. SHAKEY'S PIZZA, WEST HOLLYWOOD - NIGHT

This Shakey's Pizza looks like every other Shakey's Pizza in the country.  People pick up their pizzas at the counter and eat them at long tables.  At one side of the bar a bunch of men watch the basketball game on TV.  Among them is Todd with a shot and a beer in front of him.  There is a black guy with a goatee to his right.  He is BUCK.  There is a black man to his left wearing a nice suit.  He is JED.  All of them are pretty ripped.

                                                                 BUCK
                                Man, Dennis Rodman is the ugliest mother-
                                fucker in the NBA.  He's so ugly his mother
                                couldn't love him.

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (defensive)
                                Hey!  Dennis is the best defensive player in
                                the whole league.  He's got more heart than
                                all of the fucking Lakers put together.

                                                                 BUCK
                                I didn't say he wasn't a good player, I said he
                                was ugly.  Look at those fuckin' ears.  He's a
                                jughead.

Jed pipes up.

                                                                 JED
                                Man, Pistons're all the knuckleheads from the
                                whole league on one team.  And nobody likes
                                that Bill Laimbeer.

                                                                 TODD
                                But he's a great player.  All-time Piston rebound
                                champ.  And how would you like to be the only
                                white guy out there, huh?  The man's got balls.

                                                                 JED
                                He's an asshole.

                                                                 BUCK
                                And Isiah's a racist.

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (outraged)
                                What?  What do you mean?

                                                                 BUCK
                                He said bad shit about Larry Bird.  He's a
                                racist.  He thinks he's better than Bird 'cause
                                Bird's white.

It's moved into a realm beyond Todd's comprehension.  He's so annoyed he can't speak.

                                                                 SPORTSCASTER (V.O.)
                                And the final score is Lakers 113, Pistons 93.

                                                                 BUCK
                                Lose by twenty and the Lakers ain't even
                                got Magic.  Shit!  The Pistons stink.

                                                                 JED
                                Yeah, they used to be good, but now they're
                                all washed up.

Todd shakes his head in disbelief.  He downs his shot, and chases it with beer.

                                                                 JED
                                You're in L.A. now, boy, get with the program.
                                Become a Laker fan.

                                                                 BUCK
                                That's right.  Or the Clippers, anyway.

Todd stands and glares back at both of them with a defiant, alcohol-enhanced bravado.

                                                                 TODD
                                I'll die first.

Todd staggers off into the night.

INT. TODD'S LITTLE KITCHEN - MORNING

Todd is dressed in his dark pants, white shirt and tie.  He stands in his little kitchen overlooking the playground of the nursery school.  The screams of the little kids are overwhelming.  Todd squishes two decongestants out of their plastic bubbles, adds three Thrifty brand ibuprofen and washes them all down with Jack Daniels.  He shakes his head, then takes a deep breath.

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (to himself)
                                Breakfast of champions.

He takes a pot of boiling water from the gas stove and pours a cup of Ralph's brand instant coffee.

EXT. TODD'S BUILDING - MORNING

Todd sits on the low wall that lines the front walk of his building, drinks his coffee and opens the newspaper.  There are a hundred kids all over the street, all screaming at the same time.  Linda, his chubby Asian neighbor, walks by holding a stack of books.

                                                                 TODD
                                Morning.

                                                                 LINDA
                                Morning.

                                                                 TODD
                                How's your snake?

                                                                 LINDA
                                She's shedding.  See ya.

                                                                 TODD
                                Bye.

She hurries past.  Todd goes back to the paper.  A moment later a goofy-looking kid of 24 with wet, thin blonde hair and thick glasses walks past.  He is CHRIS.  Todd looks up.

                                                                 TODD
                                Hi.

                                                                 CHRIS
                                Hi.  Does that family with all the kids bug
                                you?

                                                                 TODD
                                Family?  I'm next to the nursery school.
                                Those kids are here at seven A.M.

                                                                 CHRIS
                                Well, I've got a family right behind me
                                with a baby that cries all night long.

                                                                 TODD
                                I've heard it, but that's not what keep me
                                up.

                                                                 CHRIS
                                You're lucky.

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (smiles ruefully)
                                Yeah.  Lucky.

                                                                 CHRIS
                                Gotta get to work.  See ya.

                                                                 TODD
                                Bye.

Chris hurries off.

Todd looks back at the paper.  He goes through the sections until he gets to the classifieds.  He drops the rest of the paper.  He takes his disposable fountain pen from his shirt pocket.

                                                                 TODD
                                All right.  Let's start at the top...

EXT. OFFICE BUILDING ON WILSHIRE & DOHENY - DAY

A big white, ten story building on Wilshire in Beverly Hills.

INT. OFFICE BUILDING HALLWAY - DAY

A wooden office door with gold lettering that says, "Beverly Hills Realtors."

INT. OFFICE/BEVERLY HILLS REALTORS - DAY

We are looking at the sharp featured face of the OFFICE MANAGER of Beverly Hills Realtors.  He wears a well-cut, fashionable suit.  His hair is perfectly in place.  His chin rests in his hand.  Through the window behind him Wilshire Boulevard running west through Beverly Hills can be seen from ten stories up, finally disappearing into the smog.  We can hear Todd's voice.

                                                                 TODD (O.S.)
                                ...I've sold easily more than a hundred
                                houses, and leased several hundred rental
                                properties.  I'm very good with people and
                                I think I'm a good salesman.

                                                                 OFFICE MANAGER
                                                           (nods)
                                For what company was this?

A look of fear fills Todd's eyes.

                                                                 TODD
                                Uh... Decade 31.

He's heard of it.

                                                                 OFFICE MANAGER
                                For how long?

                                                                 TODD
                                Six years.

                                                                 OFFICE MANAGER
                                In L.A.?

                                                                 TODD
                                No, Cheboygan, Michigan.

                                                                 OFFICE MANAGER
                                                           (amused)
                                Cheboygan.  Is that a big metropolis in Michigan?

Todd holds up his hand, palm out, and points at the tip of his middle finger.

                                                                 TODD
                                No, it's a little town at the top of the lower
                                peninsula.

                                                                 OFFICE MANAGER
                                Isn't that wonderful, you can use your hand as
                                a map.  Why did you leave Decade 31?

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (stuck)
                                Well... I was a top salesman in Michigan, then
                                they transferred me out to Palmdale selling awful
                                houses in the desert...

                                                                 OFFICE MANAGER
                                                           (nods)
                                Uh-huh.

                                                                 TODD
                                Well, I couldn't sell them.  But I can sell a good
                                house, I just have to believe in it.

                                                                 OFFICE MANAGER
                                So you quit?

                                                                 TODD
                                No... I was let go.

                                                                 OFFICE MANAGER
                                                           (nods)
                                Uh-huh.  Well, thank you, Mr. Holman.  We'll be
                                in touch.

Todd blew it and he knows it.

EXT. LANCE OTIS REALTY OFFICE - DAY

Lance Otis Realty is located on Highland Avenue in Hollywood in a small building.

                                                                 TODD (O.S.)
                                ...I've sold at least two hundred houses and
                                leased several hundred rental properties...

INT. LANCE OTIS REALTY - DAY

LANCE OTIS is a middle-aged man with thin hair, a gray mustache and a soft, southern accent. Todd sits across from him.

                                                                 TODD
                                ...And I'd have to say that I'm really a good
                                salesman.

                                                                 LANCE
                                And now this was for which company?

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (tightens up)
                                Cheboygan Realty.  That's in Michigan.

                                                                 LANCE
                                There's a Cheboygan in Wisconsin, too, isn't
                                there?

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (smiles)
                                Yes, there is.  But it's with an S-H.  In Michigan
                                it's C-H.

Lance takes out a pen and poises it over a pad of paper.

                                                                 LANCE
                                What's the address, phone number and name
                                of your superior at Cheboygan Realty?

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (stuck & panicked)
                                Uh... They went out of business.

                                                                 LANCE
                                                           (surprised)
                                After all those hundreds of properties you sold
                                and rented.  How could that be?

Todd doesn't know.  He's left with his mouth open.

EXT. ACME REALTY - DAY

Acme Realty is located in a run-down hovel of an office in downtown L.A.  It's directly between a pawnshop and a bail bondsman.  We hear the voice of the owner, LEON KARBEKIAN.

                                                                 KARBEKIAN (O.S.)
                                Look, I don't give a fuck where you worked
                                or what your qualifications are...

INT. ACME REALTY - DAY

The interior is actually worse than the exterior.  Stacks of newspapers, broken toilets, lots of dust. Leon Karbekian is a fat, ugly, foul-mouthed creep smoking a big smelly cigar.

                                                                 KARBEKIAN
                                ...You're on straight commission here.  Sell or
                                rent, you make money.  Don't sell or rent and
                                you're wastin' your own fuckin' time.  My clientele
                                is strictly spics and niggers and most of my
                                properties are shitholes.  But hey, everybody's
                                gotta live somehwere, right?  If I didn't rent to
                                these people, who would?  So, you want the
                                job?

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (hesitant)
                                Uh... Yes.

                                                                 KARBEKIAN
                                Fine.  You got it.

INT. TENAMENT APARTMENT - DAY

Todd leads a poor BLACK MAN and WOMAN through a truly horrible apartment.  The plaster is cracked, yellowed and missing in big patches and dangling in others.  Light fixtures hang from exposed wires, water obviously has leaked through the ceiling-it's a shithole, as promised.

The man looks at the woman and they both shrug.

                                                                 BLACK MAN
                                Well... I guess we'll take it.

Todd looks around like someone may be listening and sighs.  He looks to heaven and waves his hand in disbelief of his own impending actions.

                                                                 TODD
                                Have you checked the buildings four blocks
                                east of here on the south side of the street?

They both think, look at each other and shake their heads.

                                                                 BLACK MAN
                                No.  Why?

                                                                 TODD
                                They're much better maintained at the exact
                                same price.

                                                                 BLACK MAN
                                Same landlord?

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (shakes his head)
                                No.  That's why you should check it out.  I
                                mean, it's still not great and I'm sure there's
                                a lot of problems, but it's not as bad as this.

                                                                 BLACK MAN
                                                           (skeptical)
                                What d'you get outta this?

                                                                 TODD
                                A little peace of mind.

                                                                 BLACK MAN
                                                           (confiding)
                                Then man, you oughta go t' work for them.

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (sighs)
                                I tried.  They don't need anyone.

The man shakes Todd's hand.

                                                                 BLACK MAN
                                Well, thanks a lot.  I 'preciate it.

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (shrugs)
                                Have a nice day.

INT. ACME REALTY - DAY

Leon Karbekian looks pissed off.

                                                                 KARBEKIAN
                                They didn't take it?  What'dya mean?

                                                                 TODD
                                I mean, they didn't take it.  They found a
                                better place for the same money.

                                                                 KARBEKIAN
                                How do you know?

                                                                 TODD
                                They told me.

                                                                 KARBEKIAN
                                I don't understand.  Niggers don't comparison
                                shop.

                                                                 TODD
                                These did.

                                                                 KARBEKIAN
                                And you didn't talk 'em out of it?

                                                                 TODD
                                Why should I?  If they found a better place.
                                God bless 'em.

                                                                 KARBEKIAN
                                You're the worst fuckin' salesman I ever had.
                                You stink.

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (angry)
                                Yeah, well fuck you!

                                                                 KARBEKIAN
                                No, fuck you!  Get outta here!  You're fired!

                                                                 TODD
                                                           (stands)
                                My pleasure.

Todd starts for the door.

                                                                 KARBEKIAN
                                Loser!  Get outta sales!  You stink!

Todd leaves.

EXT. SPRING STREET - DUSK

Todd's sputtering, backfiring car drives up Spring Street in downtown Los Angeles.  Our view moves upward and keeps moving...

EXT. DOWNTOWN L.A. - DUSK

…The sun is just setting.  The sky is streaked with beautiful pinks and purples, backlighting the skyscrapers of downtown L.A.

EXT. THE HOLLYWOOD SIGN - DUSK

The sunset casts a soft pink glow on the giant white letters spelling "Hollywood" on the side of the mountain.  The NBA musical theme which scores the TV basketball games is heard.

                                                                 SPORTCASTER (V.O.)
                                We're here in Los Angeles, California where
                                it's seventy-eight degrees to bring you the
                                Detroit Pistons versus the Los Angeles
                                Clippers...

INT. BLIND PIG SALOON - NIGHT

We are looking at the large-screen TV in the Blind Pig Saloon in Cheboygan.  Our view moves off the screen to the same long table we were at earlier and seated there are Chris and Dick.  They have a pitcher of beer before them and are watching the game.  They both look somewhat sullen and sip their beers.

                                                                 CHRIS
                                Pistons aren't doin' very good.

                                                                 DICK
                                They haven't all season, why should they
                                now?

                                                                 CHRIS
                                Yeah.  It's hard to care.  That's why it's nice
                                to have someone like Todd around.  He just
                                likes the Pistons.  He doesn't care where they
                                stand.

                                                                 DICK
                                Yeah.  It's not much fun watchin' these games
                                without him.  The fuckin' Pistons won't help.

                                                                 CHRIS
                                Man, I'll bet he's livin' the good life out there in
                                La-la land.

                                                                 DICK
                                                           (smiles wistfully)
                                Yeah.  Lyin' on the beach catchin' some rays.

                                                                 CHRIS
                                Swingin' with blonde beach babes.

The both chuckle moronically and sips their beers.