IRIS
                                    She’s delusional, play along with her.
                                    Our lives may depend on it.

Challenger looks up at Her.
 
                                                              CHALLENGER
                                    Well, this is a pretty hard place to find. 
                                    It’s not even listed on the map.                                 

                                                            HER
                                    But you left me all alone.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    What about all of these girls everywhere?

                                                            HER
                                                (angry)
                                    You know what I mean.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Oh, that.  Look, I think you’re definitely
                                    mistaking me for someone else.  Sure,
                                    that statue sort of looks like me.  Heck,
                                    I even used to wear my hair that way in
                                    college for a while, but it was the style
                                    then, okay?  I assure you that I’m nowhere
                                    near 200 years old, why in the right light
                                    I can still get the student discount at the
                                    theatre.  But no one has ever said I look
                                    any older than, say, thirty-five.
                                               
                                                            HER
                                    I don’t know why you toy with my
                                    affections.  Do you think of me as nothing
                                    but a plaything?

Challenger looks her up and down, admiring what he sees.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    I don’t, but I could, under the right
                                    circumstances, that is.
                                                (Iris elbows him in the ribs)
                                    What? Hey, I’m just sayin’ is all.

Her turns and walks away up the stairs and through a doorway.  She waves her hand.

                                                            HER
                                    Him shall come to my chambers.

The old Priestess looks horrified.

                                                            PRIESTESS
                                    But he’ll have to go through the “Forbidden
                                    Door.”

Her stops her assent and thinks for a second.

                                                            HER
                                    “Forbidden Door” is just the wrong name
                                    for it, and always has been.  From now on
                                    let us just rename it the “Restricted Door,”
                                    okay?  Now, get moving.

Her steps through the door and disappears from view.

Challenger looks from Iris to Von Schmutz, then is grabbed by the Warrior Women and hustled up the stairs.  He is taken through the door and out of sight.  Von Schmutz points at the statue.

                                                            CAPTAIN
                                    It is an uncanny likeness, nein?

                                                            IRIS
                                    Nein.  I mean, no.  I mean, yes.  I don’t
                                    know what I mean, but it does look like
                                    him.  What do you suppose is going to
                                    happen to him in their?

Iris points up. 

                                                            CAPTAIN
                                    I can’t say for sure, but in German we
                                    say schtupping, you know what I mean?

Iris looks relieved.

                                                            IRIS
                                    Whoo!  For a second I thought they
                                    might be getting intimate.

The wise old Priestess steps forward.

                                                            PRIESTESS
                                    If it turns out he’s not who she thinks he
                                    is, that could become an issue.

                                                            IRIS
                                    Meaning what?

                                                            PRIESTESS
                                    Meaning, look out.

INT. HALLWAY – DAY

Her and Challenger walk up a hallway to a big door with ornate gold trim around it.  Challenger points.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Is this the “Forbidden Door”?

                                                            HER
                                    You heard, it’s now been renamed the
                                    “Restricted Door,” so that just means no
                                    Jews.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                                (sighs)
                                    Whoo, that’s good.

They both go inside.

INT. HER BEDROOM – DAY

As soon as they’re inside and the door is shut, Her tears off her dress revealing a black leather bikini beneath.
                       
                                                            HER
                                    I’ve been waiting two hundred years
                                    for you to get back.  Two hundred years
                                    without any of the good thing.  You
                                    know I can’t do it with any of those
                                    un-evolved males, that’s why I let you
                                    drink of the Fountain of Forever.  Now
                                    you get to live forever, but I get something
                                    in return, and you know what it is.

 

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                                (confused)
                                    What?

She steps forward, puts her body against his and reaches down.  Challenger’s eyes widen.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Oh, yeah, that.

                                                            HER
                                    Don’t you love me anymore?  You used
                                    to.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Wait a minute, let me think. 
                                                (scratches his head)
                                    No.  I don’t even know you.  You’re
                                    definitely confusing me with someone
                                    else.  But I must say you do look tantalizing
                                    in that outfit.                          

                                                            HER
                                                (smiles)
                                    Why, thank you.  It’s my own design.

Challenger feels the material of her top.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Is that silk?

                                                            HER
                                    No, spider webs.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Clever.

                                                            HER
                                    You just don’t remember because it
                                    was two hundred years ago.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Sister, I got news for you, I wasn’t born
                                    two hundred years ago.  Hell, I’m only . . .
                                                (lies)
                                    . . . thirty-nine now.

                                                            HER
                                    But how could this be?  Two men who
                                    look exactly alike find their way into
                                    my hidden, lost valley?  That’s highly
                                    improbable, don’t you think?

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    On the list of improbabilities I’ve seen
                                    lately, that one wouldn’t rank very high.
                                    There is a story in my family about my
                                    great-great-great-great grandfather who
                                    disappeared about two hundred years ago,
                                    and was never seen again.

                                                            HER
                                    How did he disappear?

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    The story goes that he was an inventor, and
                                    a balloonist.  He disappeared in a balloon
                                    over the ocean, never to be seen again.

                                                            HER
                                                (eyes light up)
                                    He-For-Whom-I-Wait arrived in what he
                                    called a “balloon.”  They could well be
                                    one in the same man.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Perhaps they are.  You know, it was because
                                    of him that I tried that hairdo in college, and
                                    it did not go over very well, let me tell you.

                                                            HER
                                                (shrugs)
                                    Huh, I liked it.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    I did, too, but the reaction was terrible. 
                                    So, what happened to this, He-For-Whom-
                                    You-Wait?

                                                            HER
                                    It’s not He-For-Whom-You-Wait, it’s
                                    He-For-Whom-I-Wait.  Well, all was
                                    going very well, and our love was greater
                                    than all other loves ever, combined.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Baby, that’s a whole lotta love.

                                                            HER
                                    Our love was so strong that I allowed
                                    him to drink from the Fountain of
                                    Forever.  Then one day he said, “I need
                                    some cigarettes, I’ll be back in a little
                                    while,” and I haven’t seen him since. 
                                    That was two hundred years ago.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Cigarettes must be hard to find around
                                    here.  And you’re still waiting?

                                                            HER
                                    I am if you’re not him, but who says
                                    you’re not?

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Me.

                                                            HER
                                    Yes, but that’s just you.  You might have
                                    forgotten.  Perhaps I can arouse your memory.
                                    Do you remember this?

Her pushes up against Challenger, grabs his face and gives him a big kiss.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    That’s a kiss, right?  You know you might
                                    be right.  It’s all coming back to me now. 
                                    What else did we do?

Her takes Challenger’s hands and plants them firmly on her buttocks, then she grabs his face and gives him a big kiss.  Challenger squeezes her buns.  Challenger comes up for air.

 

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Oh, yeah, now I remember.

                                                            HER
                                    I thought you would.  What was that
                                    cockamamie story about a great-great-
                                    great grandfather?

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Hell, ‘spect me to remember.  I don’t
                                    think I even had a great-great-great
                                    grandfather.

Challenger gives her a big kiss back.

A loud gong is heard.  Her backs off, coughs and straightens her hair.

                                                            HER
                                    Damn, I told them to prepare a ceremonial
                                    feast tonight in your honor and we all have
                                    to get ready.  So, we’ll just have to wait
                                    until later to pick this back up where we
                                    left off.  We’ve waited two hundred years,
                                    what’s a few more hours?

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    It would really just be a few more minutes.

                                                            HER
                                    No, I must prepare.  I’ll see you later.

He turns with a silly grin on his face and walks into the wall.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    I meant to do that.

Challenger exits.

EXT. LOST VALLEY AMPHITHEATRE – SUNSET

A long ceremonial feast table is set up beneath the half-dome of the amphitheater, at the top of the steps leading to the open parade grounds.  Her sits on her throne at one end of the table and an ornate chair made of  ivory tusks (oddly, they’re all angled inward toward the seat) is at the other end.  Several valley girls sit in some of the other seats arrayed around the table.

Challenger and his group are led into the half-dome.  They are cleaned up and more crisply groomed than when they entered the Lost Valley.  Her stands and greets them.

                                                            HER
                                    All rise and welcome our guests.  We
                                    celebrate the arrival of Him-For-Whom-
                                    I-Wait, returned to fulfill the prophecy of
                                    our shared destiny.  Him shall be seated in
                                    the Chair of Supreme Happiness . . .

Her gestures for Challenger to be seated in the ivory tusked chair.  Two servants
quickly slide it back from the table for him.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Please, call me Dick.  Everyone does.

Iris whispers to Von Schmutz.

                                                            IRIS
                                    Even people who don’t know his name.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                                (smiling)
                                    Say, you’re not jealous, are you?

Iris snorts derisively as Challenger seats himself in the chair, careful to avoid the pointy tips of the tusks. Two of the points extend down over each of his shoulders and if he moves his head too far in either direction, they poke his ears.  The armrests are tusks that curve upward, so that if he fully rests his arms on them, his palms sit on the pointy tips. He tries to make himself comfortable.  Iris and the others seat themselves around the table.

Iris whispers to Challenger.

                                                            IRIS
                                    Why does she still think you’re this
                                    Him-For-Whom-She-Waits?

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                                (whispering)
                                    I told her I wasn’t, but she wouldn’t
                                    believe me.  You see, she had this really
                                    terrific             outfit, and—

 

                                                            IRIS
                                                (snorts)
                                    —Men.  You’re a disgrace to our
                                    species.

Challenger shrugs and gets poked by an elephant tusk.

Her clears her throat and gets everyone’s attention.

                                                            HER
                                    We begin the ceremonial feast with
                                    Brain-of-Monkey Soufflé.

Her snaps her fingers and the service begins.  Dishes are set before everyone at the table.  Iris grimaces.

                                                            IRIS
                                    Uh, no Monkey brains for me, thanks.

                                                            HER
                                    I think you misunderstand.  The recipe
                                    came from the brain of our monkey
                                    chef.

Her points to the kitchen doorway, where a chimpanzee in a chef’s hat and apron waves his spatula and grins at them, baring his teeth.  Challenger turns to look and pokes his eye on a tusk.  Doink!

                                                            HER
                                    We should probably change the name,
                                    it has caused much confusion.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                                (sotto voce to Von Schmutz)
                                    They should change the name of this
                                    chair, too.  Utmost Pain is more like it.

Challenger and the others taste the soufflé.

                                                            IRIS
                                    It’s quite a unique flavor.  My compliments
                                    to the monkey.

                                                             HER
                                    Yes, the dish is actually prepared with
                                    Tyrannosaurus testicles garnished in
                                    butter. 

Challenger involuntarily spits out his mouthful, and takes a swig of wine.  The monkey Chef gets furious, reaches into the back his shorts and throws a handful of shit at Challenger.  A clump of poo hits him in the face.  Challenger wipes it off.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Well, excuse me.
                                                (he keeps eating the soufflé)
                                    So, Her-Who-Lives-Forever, what do
                                    your friends call you when you let your
                                    hair down?     

                                                            HER
                                    I don’t let my hair down.

                                                            IRIS
                                                (horrified)
                                    Not even to wash it?

                                                            HER
                                    No.

                                                            IRIS
                                    Yuk!

                                                            HER               
                                    My true name may not be spoken by
                                    mere mortals.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    I’ll let that ‘mere’ crack go, but just to
                                    save time, how about if I call you “Sugar
                                    Puss”?  You look like a Sugar Puss to me. 
                                    Y’know, you’ve got a swell set-up here,
                                    Sugar Puss, plenty of cute dames and no
                                    men, I like that in a lost jungle city.

The Lost Valley Girls are gasping and whispering to each other, shocked by Challenger’s impudence towards Her. They all look to see Her’s reaction. Her addresses Challenger sternly.

 

                                                             HER
                                    The long years away have dulled your
                                    memory, but do not test my patience further,
                                    you will address me in the proper manner.    

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Look, Sugar Puss, I keep telling you, I’m
                                    not this ‘Him’ you’ve been expecting, with
                                    the prophecy and the fulfilling destiny and
                                    what-not.  So, come on, Sugar Puss, what
                                    say we start from scratch here? 

                                                            HER
                                                (rising angrily)
                                    Enough of your impudence, we will settle
                                    this now in mortal combat.  Him-For-Whom-
                                    I-Wait is the only one who has ever
                                    bested me in a duel, if you are truly not Him,
                                    you will die at my hands.  So, we duel to the
                                    death in the Dome of Doom at dusk.
                                                (stops and thinks about it)
                                    Is that right?  Yes, exactly!

A group of Warrior Women have suddenly emerged from the shadows and surround Challenger’s group with spears held at the ready.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Yeah, that sounds fun and all, but, see, I
                                    never fight girls.

                                                            HER
                                    You shall duel or you and all your companions
                                    will be fed to the God of the Volcano.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Did I say “never?”  I meant I usually don’t
                                    fight girls, but I can see you’ve got your
                                    heart set on this.  But I’m warning you—
                                    you go up against Dick Challenger, and
                                    you’re going down on Dick Challenger!

                                                            HER
                                    Silence!  Take them to the Gladiatorial chambers.
                                    We will meet in combat in one of your earth
                                    hours, and if you are not Him, you will die.

Challenger whispers to Iris.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Aren’t we even on Earth anymore?

                                                            IRIS
                                                (exasperated)
                                    No, we’re really at the Earth’s core.


                                                            CHALLENGER
                                                (his eyes light up)
                                    I knew it.

The Warrior Women lead the group out of the amphitheater.

INT. GLADIATORIAL CHAMBERS – NIGHT

Challenger stands in front of a rack full of various weapons, examining the different spears, swords, pikes and maces.  Iris is pacing the floor behind him, and Von Schmutz sits on a bench behind her.

                                                            IRIS
                                    You’re not actually planning on fighting
                                    this woman, are you?

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    You heard what she said.  Do I have a
                                    choice?  But you don’t have to worry
                                    about me, babe, there’s not a dame alive
                                    that can take me in a fair fight.  Heck, I
                                    may tie one hand behind my back, just to
                                    make it interesting.

Challenger takes down a set of steel bolos and swings them around.

                                                            IRIS
                                    So you’re going to kill her?!  And what
                                    do you think all her loyal subjects will do
                                    to us then?

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Hadn’t given it much thought. I guess they’ll
                                    have to crown me King.  I think it may take
                                    the first few weeks of my reign just to pick
                                    the girls for my harem.  There’re a lot of
                                    subjects to choose from.

                                                            IRIS
                                    You idiot!  If you kill their Queen, they’ll
                                    kill us all.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Hey, waitaminnit . . . maybe I could organize
                                    some kind of  competition, or pageant or
                                    something to help pick the best candidates?
                                                            IRIS
                                                (with an exasperated sigh)
                                    Brilliant idea . . . If you need me for any-
                                    thing, I’ll be the loudest person in the
                                    Queen’s cheering section.

As she turns to leave, female GUARDS enter with spears raised.

                                                            GUARD # 1
                                    Ten minutes to the duel.  Him will come
                                    with us now.

Challenger looks at Iris and begins to exit.  Iris runs up to him and kisses his cheek.

                                                            IRIS
                                    Good luck, Challenger.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Say, you’re a little bit of all right.  I might
                                    have a Special Science Advisor position
                                    for you in my harem.

Iris slaps him angrily and storms out.  Challenger looks at the Female Guards.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Dames, y’know what I mean?

The Female Guards both smile warmly, promptly bludgeon him with their clubs, then drag him away.

EXT.  AMPHITHEATRE GROUNDS – NIGHT

Many of the Valley Girls sit in chairs on the dais beneath the half-dome, where the feast table had been set earlier.  Benches have been set around the parade field grounds as well, and more women fill those seats.  A hush falls over the crowd as Challenger is lead out to the center of the parade field at spear point.

The SERGEANT-AT-ARMS raises her right hand and shouts loudly.

                                                            SERGEANT-AT-ARMS
                                    Lower Eastern dome-half!

Above Challenger’s head, the eastern side of the dome begins lowering, slowly
and with much noise.

                                                            SERGEANT-AT-ARMS       
                                     Lower at double speed!

At the edge of the already lowered western half-dome, another GUARD shouts
into a small wooden building.

                                                            GUARD # 1
                                    Double lowering speed!

INT. HALF-DOME GEAR ROOM - NIGHT

Inside the building a 2nd GUARD hears the order.  Behind the 2nd Guard, we see the dome is being lowered by a group of chimpanzees pushing handles attached to a large wheel in the center of the room.  As they push the wheel around, peanuts drop down from above and are immediately gobbled up by the chimps.

                                                            2nd GUARD
                                                (calling back)
                                    Double the speed?!  I can’t go any faster
                                    without more peanuts!  We need more
                                    peanuts!

Some of the stations seem to be dropping fewer nuts, and as the chimps pass these stations, they grow irritated.  The 2nd Guard cracks a whip at their backs, and several chimps turn and throw their shit at her.

                                                            2nd GUARD
                                                (yelling up stairs; pleading)
                                    For Goddess’ sake, we need more
                                    peanuts! It won’t go any faster without
                                    more peanuts!

INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE MATING STABLES – NIGHT

Oo-Pongo sticks his head cautiously out of the stable’s entrance.  The hallway is empty, and so he begins edging along the wall, sneaking towards the exit at the end.

The Fat Chick and Red come back in through the exit doors, sending Oo-Pongo scurrying for the nearest hiding place.  He runs in the nearest doorway and immediately realizes he’s in the Ladies bathroom.  Sinks line the wall to his left and three stalls are located directly to his right.  Hearing the girls approach, Oo-Pongo quickly ducks into the center stall.  He hears the girls outside.

                                                            FAT CHICK
                                    I’ve got to use the bathroom.

                                                            RED
                                    Again?  You’ve already gone three times
                                    in the last hour.

                                                            FAT CHICK
                                    I’m on the All-Mango Diet and it really
                                    loosens me up, y’know what I mean?

Oo-Pongo jumps up on the toilet seat so his feet won’t be seen.  He hears the door open and the girls enter.  They go in to the stalls on either side of him and accommodate themselves.

                                                            RED
                                    You really need to shower, I can still
                                    smell that monkey-man on you.

                                                            FAT CHICK
                                    It’s not that bad.  Besides, I thought he
                                    was kinda cute.

                                                            RED
                                                (grossed out)
                                    Eeeewwww!

Oo-Pongo slips on the seat and falls through the opening into the waste pit below the toilet. The girls hear the loud splash in the waste water below.

                                                            RED
                                    Wow!  All mangos, huh?
 
                                                            FAT CHICK
                                    That wasn’t me, that was you.

                                                            RED
                                    Right.  As if.

 

 

INT. LATRINE PIT – DAY

Oo-Pongo is in the shit now.  He stands up, wipes his eyes and hears the girls talking above.

                                                            FAT CHICK
                                                (O.S.)
                                    Oh, yeah.  There we go.  Goodbye mangoes.

Oo-Pongo looks up and is hit in the face with liquid mango shit.  Oo-Pongo wipes his face, looks around and sees a runoff tunnel at the side of the pit.  He crawls through the filth and squeezes himself into the tunnel.  The filthy monkey-man squirms through the small tunnel, heading for the light at the far end.

EXT. HALF-DOME AMPHITHEATRE – NIGHT

The western half of the dome is still lowering as Challenger is lead to the center of the parade grounds.  Guards at the side of the field grounds part and Her strides in to face Challenger.  The crowd erupts into applause and cheers.  Her is dressed in a sexy, scintillating, bodice and black leather bikini outfit.  Challenger eyes Her appreciatively. 
The ANNOUNCER speaks to the crowd. 

                                                            ANNOUNCER
                                    All rise and join me in singing our National
                                    Anthem.

Everybody stands and covers their hearts with their hands.  They all sing.

                                                            EVERYBODY
                                                (singing)
                                    Him-For-Whom-She-Waits
                                    Is now the one she hates
                                    That rotten dumb son of a bitch
                                    Is Him-For-Whom-She-Waits

Her leans over and says to Challenger . . .

                                                            HER
                                    Catchy, huh?  I wrote it myself.

Meanwhile, the loud grinding and scraping of gears drowns out their voices as the dome finishes lowering.

                                                            HER
                                    So, are you ready to die?

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                                (snorts derisively)
                                    Oh, come on.  I could take you with one
                                    hand tied behind my back.

Her turns to two Warrior Women.

                                                            HER
                                    Tie his hand behind his back!

The two Warrior Women grab Challenger and roughly tie his hand behind his back.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    I actually meant it euphemistically.  But
                                    literally, I could still take you with one
                                    leg tied behind my back, too.

                                                            HER
                                    And tie his leg behind his back, too.  You
                                    just don’t know when to shut up, do you?
                                    But just to make it fair, I’ll tie one hand
                                    and one leg behind my back, too.

Challenger and Her, both with a leg and arm tied behind their backs, hop out into the ring.  They both take a few hops and fall down, then cannot figure out how to get back up.  Her removes her arm and leg from the binding.

                                                            HER
                                    Okay, skip that.  That was stupid.

Challenger stands unimpeded, wielding the set of steel bolos.  He swings them around over his head, faster and faster and faster, until he loses control and they wrap around his neck and knock him over.  Her comes after him with the big sword.  With no weapon, Challenger crawls away from Her, who advances menacingly.

Iris watches with great concern.  Finally, she grabs a spear from a nearby Warrior Woman and tosses it to Challenger.

                                                            IRIS
                                    Dick!  Here!

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    What?

He turns just in time to get hit in the forehead with the shaft of the spear, knocking him back down.  Her continues to advance.  Challenger picks up the spear, stands and attempts to defend himself.  He spins the spear around like a cheerleader with a baton, then thrusts it forward.  Her deftly chops off the point of the spear, then chops off the spear’s shaft bit by bit until Challenger only has a foot-long piece of wood in his hand.

Captain Von Schmutz grabs a sword from the Warrior Woman beside him and tosses it to Challenger.

                                                            CAPTAIN
                                    Herr Challenger!  Take this!

Challenger turns to Von Schmutz.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Huh?

The handle of the sword hits Challenger in the face, knocking him back down.  Her keeps swinging her sword.  Challenger grabs the sword, jumps to his feet with the sword held out in front.  He and Her square off. 

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Think you’ve got something really special
                                    going on here, huh?

                                                            HER
                                                (nods)
                                    Yes, I do.  And I certainly can’t let outsiders
                                    destroy it, or tamper with it in any way.  I
                                    foolishly thought you were He-For-Whom-
                                    I-Wait, but you’re not!  You’re He-For-Whom-
                                    I-Don’t-Give-A-Crap, and for that you shall
                                    die.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                                (grins)
                                    Shall I?  Shall I really?

He spins around, amazingly ends up behind her and smacks her hard on the ass with the flat part of his blade.  Her yelps.

                                                            HER
                                    How dare thou smack the royal fanny!

Her now really attacks, slashing her sword back and forth, running full speed at him while screaming a mighty war cry.  Challenger points up.

 

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    What the hell is that?

Her glances upward just as Challenger knocks the sword out of her hand, then trips her, knocking her to the ground.

Challenger has Her pinned down on the ground with a sword pressed into her throat.  Challenger looks at the crowd.  Her also looks up toward the crowd.  All of the women raise their clenched fists and extend their thumbs upward.  Her sighs, grinning in relief.  Suddenly, all of the thumbs simultaneously turn downward.  Her’s eyes widen in disbelief.

                                                            HER
                                                (mutters)
                                    My people, folks. 
                                                (shakes her head)
                                    Loyal subjects, my ass!

The crowd begins to chant.

                                                            CROWD
                                    Kill her!  Kill her!  Kill her!

Challenger looks from Her’s squinting, fearful eyes, to the chanting, excited crowd, to Iris’s pleading expression.  Challenger removes the point of the sword from Her throat.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    No!  I won’t kill her.  I’ve given up
                                    killing.  I’ll never kill again.

Challenger throws the sword away.  It flies through the air and it goes into the wooden wall of the Dome control room, where it embeds itself between two wooden slats.

INT. DOME CONTROL ROOM – NIGHT

The sword has gone through the wooden wall and impaled three monkeys, all of which  hang limply and twitch.  The other monkeys jump around holding their heads, shrieking and doing anguished back-flips. 

INT. AMPHITTHEATER – NIGHT

Challenger stands there looming over Her.  Iris watches.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    Killing is wrong.

Challenger reaches down and takes Her’s hand.  He helps her up.  Her brushes off her bum.  She mumbles under her breath.

                                                            HER
                                    Well, that was reasonably humiliating.
                                    So, why didn’t you kill me when you
                                    had the chance?

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    I guess I’m just a softy at heart.  I mean,
                                    I really should’ve.  Your head would look
                                    just Jake next to the Orangutan’s.  That’s
                                    if it was well-mounted and properly stuffed,
                                    of course.

                                                            HER
                                    Now what do you suggest that we do?

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    I was thinking maybe you could, uh, make
                                    me king.  I mean, seriously, I’d be a just
                                    and wise ruler, and I wouldn’t think of taking
                                    advantage of the situation in any way, y’know,
                                    just ‘cause you’re all women, and I’d be the
                                    only man.       

Her nods her head and considers.

                                                            HER
                                    Hmmm . . .  Yes, well, I could make
                                    you king.  However, on the other hand, I
                                    could just as easily banish you.  So that’s
                                    what I’ll do.  You’re banished!

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    You sure you don’t want to think about
                                    the king idea a little longer?  It’s got some
                                    very positive aspects to it.  I really do think
                                    it could work.

                                                            HER
                                    Take them away!

Warrior Women step up, grab our heroes and take them away.  Her brushes herself off, then looks up at the crowd, who are all looking away in shame.

                                                            HER
                                    That’s okay, no problem.  Just because
                                    you all voted for me to die doesn’t bother
                                    me at all.  I forgive you.

Her turns away and grimaces.

 

EXT. WALL OF THE CITY – NIGHT

A sewage pipe juts out from the exterior wall of the city, just down from the main entrance.  Oo-Pongo squeezes himself out of the pipe with a sickening slurping sound.  He stands up and tries to wipe some of the filth off himself, but he’s completely coated.

                                                            OO-PONGO
                                    Ramma-lamma Ding-dong!

A subtitle reads: “My star-sign must be in retrograde because today is just not my day.”

EXT. CITY’S MAIN GATE – SUNSET

The large doors swing open and Challenger’s group is led out at spear-point.

Oo-Pongo hears the commotion and sneaks nearer, to watch from behind the jungle foliage. 

Challenger, Iris and Von Schmutz walk away from the main gate, Her steps up behind them.  Challenger is given back his rifle.
 
                                                            HER
                                    For offenses against Her-Who-Lives-
                                    Forever, you are banished from this city
                                    for all of Eternity, or the length of your
                                    life, whichever comes first.

                                                            CHALLENGER
                                    But after that we can come back for a
                                    visit?

                                                            HER
                                    Scram!

Challenger and the others walk away up the trail leading to the hidden valley entrance.  Her turns and re-enters the city.  Two Warrior Women remain on either side of the gate watching Challenger’s group leave the valley.

 

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