The lights twinkle in all of the tall buildings that comprise downtown.  We whiz through the sky with the rushing sound of fast-moving wind.  The buildings glide past and the car headlights streak below.

Then we are move down, back into the city toward the lights and cars...


...And into the face of Nancy who walks along the deserted downtown street.  Her eyes are blinking furiously and she's holding a lively conversation with herself.

                                                           (to herself)
                                Why do I exist?  What's the point?  I'm not doing
                                anyone, including myself, any good.  I just cause
                                pain and grief and misery to everyone around me.
                                I'm a nuisance.  I'm trouble.  I'm bad luck...

Nancy is paying no attention at all to where she is going.


Hank is walking through the business section of downtown, amidst the enormous skyscrapers.

Hank looks up and the buildings go up and up and up and just keep going.  The tops of the buildings are lost in the clouds.

Suddenly there is a high-pitched hissing sound like a bomb being dropped.  Hank starts to panic not knowing which way to go.

Something comes zooming down out of the sky past Hank's face and hits the sidewalk.

The square of sidewalk in front of him explodes into cement dust and fragments.  Hank jumps back and shields his face.

He steps forward and looks at the destroyed square of sidewalk.  He sees a single penny rolling at the center of the dirt.

Hank looks up from where it came.  He covers his head with his hand and dashes away from the skyscrapers.


Hank is now lost in some strange nightmarish industrial part of town.

He passes decaying, bombed-out warehouses with hundreds of broken windows.

Roaring flames and thick greasy smoke belch from smoke stacks into the night sky.  Giant electrical generators loom all around emitting a wailing ululant cacophony of sound.

                                I must've taken a wrong turn somewhere.


Hank enters a desolate open area with weeds pushing up through the cracked pavement.  Dark ominous clouds boil overhead...

A cool breeze blows and Hank looks up.

                                Wind.  I forgot about it.

A voice shatters the silence and scares the hell out of him.


Hank brings his bat out in front of him and gets ready to do battle.  He squints and looks closer.

Sitting on the ground with a bottle in his hand is a DRUNK.  He has a thick Brooklyn accent.

                                Did we win?

                                Win what?

                                The ball game.

Hank looks at the bat.  He shakes his head.

                                Not yet, but we're going to.

The Drunk watches as Hank turns and walks off into the night.

                                I'm from Brooklyn, ya know.  I've always been
                                a Dodger fan.  Roy Campanella, Sandy Koufax,
                                Pee Wee Reese...


Nancy stumbles along a dark street now having a furious inaudible argument with herself.  She is gesturing with her hands to get her point across.

Across the street, crouched beneath the front steps of an apartment building, sits Presto of the Orphans.  He's smoking a cigarette, bored out of his mind.  In the corner of his eye he catches some movement across the street.  He looks up in time to see Nancy turn a corner and head down an alley.

Presto jumps to his feet and throws his cigarette.

                                Unbelievable.  It's her.

He takes off across the street.


Nancy walks quickly up the dark alley still paying no attention to where she's going.  The only sound is that of her footsteps reverberating off the walls.

Clack-clack.  Clack-clack.  Clack-clack-clack...

Nancy stops.  Everything is quiet.  Now her total awareness is focused behind her.  She turns quickly, but there is nothing there.

Nancy begins to walk fast and glances frequently back over her shoulder.

Meanwhile, Presto is trying to tip-toe along the pavement and tail Nancy without being seen.  He can just see her shadow up ahead.  He's going along pretty silently, then suddenly kicks a beer bottle by mistake.

The bottle goes clattering across the alley.


Presto gets royally pissed off.  He pulls out a set of wooden nunchucks from his belt.

                                                           (to himself)
                                The hell with this Indian crap.  I'm gonna mess
                                this bitch up good! Nobody thinks I can do
                                anything, but I'm really Bruce Lee.

He begins swinging his nunchucks in a slow circle as he moves up the alley.

Presto gets to the corner and drops against the wall.  He peeks around and sees a shadow moving back toward him.  He grins deviously and readies the nunchucks.

As the shadow moves past his feet, Presto jumps out with the nunchucks whipping around at high speeds.  He lashes out and whacks the body belonging to the shadow.

It's Joker, his fellow Orphan.  The hard wood cracks him in the shoulder, knocking him down.  He looks up and sees Presto looming over him.

                                You stupid moron!  You broke my arm!

                                Oh, man!  I'm really sorry.  That chick just walked
                                by here.

Presto helps Joker to his feet.  Joker rubs his bruised shoulder.

                                The chick we're lookin' for?  You sure?

                                Yeah, man. It was her.  She's right around here.

                                All right.  Come on.  Let's find her before Comet does.
                                He's totally crazy.  He'll kill her.

                                I would too if she shot my toe off.

Presto swings his nunchucks and Joker pulls out a switch-blade.  They walk up the alley out of sight.

Our view moves across the alley to a garbage dumpster.


Crouched inside the garbage dumpster, burrowed in the refuse, is Nancy.  Her eyes are wide and crazy-looking.


The crescent moon sits lazily in the night sky above the skyscrapers.  Hank face moves in front of the moon blocking it from sight.  His deep dark eyes look all around in bewilderment.  Dots of perspiration glimmer on his forehead.


Hank is in a dark alley.  He starts to go one way, then stops and begins heading in the other direction.

Hank puts his face in his hands and shakes his head.

                                Where am I?

He glances back over his shoulder and sees the empty alley.  He keeps walking.

Presto and Joker come around the corner and come face to face with Hank with his bat and his foil suit.

Hank is frightened and yells loud.

Presto and Joker's eyes both widen in fear.

Hank quickly raises his baseball bat.

Presto and Joker hastily turn and run.

Hank turns and runs the other way, back up the alley.


Presto and Joker come running up a city street.  They stop running and turn back to see and if whatever they just saw is coming after them.

                                What was that?

                                Beats me, man.  I aint goin' back there.

                                Me, neither.

They start to walk away and both throw quick glances over their shoulders.


Hank moves quickly up an alley that dead-ends into another alley.

Hank is confused and breathing hard.  Should he go right or left?

                                I'm not handling this very well.  I'm never gonna
                                find Nancy and I'm never gonna find my way
                                home.  I'm completely screwed.  I should just
                                give up.

As he considers the implications of this the sound of something approaching is heard.  Something huge that makes the whole world shake.  Hank quickly goes right.


Hank hurries up a dark, ominous thin alley as whatever is coming gets closer.

Hank presses himself against a wall and tries to scream or cry or even moan, but not a sound will come out.  All he can do is wait for whatever is coming to get him.

But then there's nothing there.  Just quiet and emptiness.

Hank peers around the alley.

It's utterly vacant.

He breathes a sigh of relief and wipes his brow.  He even smiles.

Suddenly a giant hairy tentacle appears in front of his face.  Hank gasps, jumps back from the wall and looks up.

A giant awful spider is crawling straight down the wall.  It's twenty feet tall, ten feet wide, and has slime dripping from its razor-sharp mandibles.  Its antennae vibrate.

Hank is frozen, terrified and shaking.

The Gargantuan spider steps toward him, one awful hairy leg, then another, then another.  It steps off the wall and onto the street.  It knocks a garbage can out of its way.  The garbage can rolls past Hank spewing junk.

The spider knocks a streetlight over.

The streetlight smashes to the pavement beside Hank with a sparking crash.

Each hairy leg brings the spider closer and closer.

Its shadow begins to envelope Hank who is utterly immobile with fear.

The sharp serrated slime-covered mandibles open wide and move in toward Hank's throat.

Hank somehow manages to turn and start running.

The spider comes after him roaring with fury.


Nancy is flat up against a wall, her eyes darting around.

She has the .38 snub-nose pistol in her hand.  She aims it this way, then that way, then back.

Through the strained silence the sound of short wave radio static is heard.

Nancy narrows her brow.  Is that...?

The sound gets closer and headlights can be seen at the end of the alley.

It is.  The cops.

Nancy crouches as low as she can behind some boxes beside a sign post.

A black and white police car stops at the end of the alley.  A spotlight goes on, swiveling around until it's aiming right at Nancy.

Sweat pours down Nancy's forehead.  The light swings off of her.

The police car drives slowly away.

Nancy looks down at the pistol in her hand.  Her eyes are completely wild.  She looks up at the sign she's crouching beneath.  It says, "DEAD END."  Nancy takes it to heart.

                                This is it.  The dead end.  Nowhere to run.
                                Nowhere to hide.

Nancy brings the side of the pistol up to her face.

                                Time to do the world a favor.

She slowly swings the barrel around until it's aiming into her own face.  She opens her mouth and puts the barrel of the gun in.  She shuts her eyes tightly and presses her lips around the cold steel.  Her finger trembles as it closes in around the trigger.  Her heartbeat is booming in her ears and her dry breath wheezes in and out of her nose.

Nancy squeezes her face into a knot and begins applying pressure to the trigger.  The hammer moves back.

Her knuckles are white.

Her knees are shaking.

Her throat is gulping.

Beads of sweat roll down her cheeks.

Tip-tap, tip-tap, tip-tap.  Distant hollow footsteps approaching quickly.

Nancy opens one of her eyes.

She sees a dark figure running full tilt toward her from the far end of the alley.

Nancy opens her other eye and eases up on the trigger.

The dark figure runs into a shaft of light and it's Hank!  From her point of view he's all by himself running madly.

Hank looks behind himself and sees the giant spider coming around the corner bearing down on him.  He turns around and Nancy.

                                Nancy!  Thank God!  Help me!

Nancy takes the gun out of her mouth.  She blows a pent-up stream of air out of her lungs.

Hank points frantically behind himself at the giant spider.

                                Kill it!

Nancy doesn't see a spider, she sees a garbage truck come around the corner and pull up behind Hank.  The truck is unable to get around Hank because he's in the middle of the alley.

Nancy shakes her head.

                                Kill what?

The spider's mandibles are closing around the back of Hank's neck.

                                The spider!!  Kill it!!

Hank dives to the pavement on his face and covers his head with his arms.

Nancy shrugs and swings the pistol out in front of her.  She rests the gun in her palm to steady her aim and fires a shot over Hank's head.

The bullet hits the steel back of the garbage truck and ricochets off.

Hank watches as the bullet hits the spider in the eye.  The spider shrieks horribly.


The garbage truck DRIVER gasps, hastily shifts into reverse, pops the clutch and floors it.


The back wheels of the garbage truck squeal and burn rubber.

Hank sees the spider squeal and scurry away.  As it gets around the corner it's hairy legs give out beneath it.  It crashes to the ground and dies.

Hank sighs with relief, rolls over on the pavement and looks at Nancy.  He crawls over to her.  His foil outfit is shredded, but he still has his bat.

                                Thanks.  You killed it.

                                I did?

                                Yeah.  It's dead.  You saved my life.

Nancy looks at the pistol, then disgustedly tosses it to the ground.  It clatters across the pavement, drops into a sewer grate and disappears.

                                Hank, what are you doing here?  I thought
                                you never left your apartment?

                                I don't, but I couldn't let you just walk out of my
                                life and never see you again.  Then I'd really go

Nancy looks Hank up and down.

                                Hank, you are really crazy.

                                Sure I am.  I'm crazy about you.  Now I've got
                                this all figured out.  You don't have a place to
                                stay.  Come stay with me.  I need you.

Nancy shakes her head sadly.

                                No!  I can't!  I'm bad luck.  I ruin everything I
                                touch.  Now go home!

Nancy begins walking away from him.

                                Nancy, please!  Think about this.  It's a good

                                No!  Go home!  And don't follow me!  I never
                                want to see you again!

Nancy turns and dashes around the corner.

Hank just stands there in sad bewilderment.  His whole body sags.


Nancy stumbles past a row of parked cars with tears streaming out of her eyes.  A voice rings out behind her.

                                                                 MALE VOICE

Nancy turns with a angry look on her face.

                                What do you want?

A hand shoots out of nowhere and grabs her around the mouth.  It's Comet of the Orphans.  He has an insane look on his face and a cast on his foot.


Nancy struggles attempting to scream behind his hand.  He is much bigger than her and it's no match.  He speaks directly into Nancy's ear.

                                I spent the last five hours in the hospital having
                                my foot operated on.  You shot off my toe.  I'm
                                gonna walk with a limp for the rest of my life.
                                Now I'm gonna make you real sorry you didn't
                                leave town while you had the chance.  Stickin'
                                around this neighborhood was the worst idea of
                                your life!

He drags Nancy over to a pile of garbage, throws her down and straddles her.  Nancy struggles beneath him.


Comet pulls out a butterfly knife.  He spins it around expertly then stops and puts the blade tip against Nancy's nose.

                                Shut up!  No one's gonna help you now.  I'm
                                gonna cut you into a thousand little pieces and
                                leave you scattered all over the city.  You're dead,
                                bitch!  D-E-D!  Dead!

He brings the blade to Nancy's throat and starts to cut her.  Nancy's eyes bug out with fear and pain.

Behind Comet, through the steam of a sewer, steps a dark figure.

It's Hank!  He is standing straight and has his shoulder back.  His foil's in shreds and he has his bat in his hand.

                                Leave her alone!

Comet quickly pulls the blade from Nancy's throat and turns around.

Nancy sees Hank and breathes a deep sigh of relief.

Comet furrows his brow.

                                What're you?

Hank takes a step forward.

                                I'm the guy that's gonna kick your ass!

Comet gets off of Nancy and limps toward Hank.

                                Oh yeah?  I'm gonna open you up like a can
                                of tomato paste you nut case!

Comet hobbles toward Hank with the knife out in front of him, ominously spinning around.

Hank walks slowly toward Comet with his Louisville Slugger out in front of him.

Nancy sits up and watches.  It's just like a shoot-out on Main Street at high noon.

When they are within fifteen feet of one another Hank's face starts to twitch.  He stops in his tracks and his shoulders begin to jerk spasmodically.  His eyes roll into the back of his head and he begins gasping for air.

Comet keeps coming with a perplexed look on his face.

Nancy jumps to her feet.

                                He's having a seizure!

                                Aww, that's too bad.

Hank drops the bat, grabs his throat and strangles himself.  He staggers sideways to a pile of refuse and collapses, jerking, twitching and coughing.

Nancy tries to run to Hank, but Comet grabs her.

                                I'll deal with you first and get back to him.

He throws Nancy back down and climbs on top of her.  He grabs a handful of her hair and slices it off.  He throws the clump of hair back into her face and laughs.

                                I never killed anyone before, but I'm gonna
                                kill you!  First I'm gonna make you wish you
                                were dead.

Comet brings the knife down to Nancy's shirt and begins cutting off the buttons one by one.

Nancy has her eyes closed and her face all scrunched up into a knot.

Comet throws a glance back at Hank.

Hank is squirming and shaking uncontrollably.

Comet turns back to Nancy and grins maniacally.

                                The Tin Man's having engine trouble.

As Comet slowly cuts Nancy's shirt buttons off one by one, he begins moving rhythmically on top of her.  He starts to breath quickly.  He's getting off on this.


The Louisville Slugger comes down on Comet's skull!  His eyes cross and his arms go limp.

Hank is standing over him with the bat in his hand.

                                A hit.

Comet suddenly jumps to his feet and faces Hank.  The butterfly knife is in one hand spinning around, his other hand clutches his head.  Comet takes his hand from his head, looks at his palm.  No blood.

                                Wrong.  Foul ball.  I've got a steel plate in
                                the back of my head.

Comet steps toward Hank with a really pissed-off expression.

Hank is totally freaked out.

Nancy watches not knowing what to do.

Comet lunges at Hank with the knife out.

Hank blocks the knife with the bat and quickly retreats.

Comet keeps coming, hobbling on his cast.

Hank is backed against a wall.  He suddenly grabs his throat and starts to gag.

Comet shakes his head.

                                Aint gonna work twice, homeboy.

Comet pulls back the knife ready to stick it in Hank's gut.

Hank lets go of his throat and shrugs.

                                How about this?

Hank suddenly brings his foot down as hard as he can on Comet's cast crunching it into plaster dust.

Comet's face screws up in excruciating pain and he freezes in his tracks.  He slowly looks down at his foot.

Hank steps back, takes a proper batting stance and winds up with the bat.  He licks his finger and holds it up to check the wind direction.

                                Let's see if you have a steel plate in the
                                front of your head, too?

Hank takes a full swing with the bat right across the front of Comet's head.  There is a loud Thonk! and the bat snaps in half.

The end of the baseball bat goes sailing through the air over the top of a building and disappears into the night.

                                And it's out of the park.  A grand slam homer.

Comet drops to his knees.  The knife slips out of his hand and sticks into the pavement.


Parked on the side of the street is the red Corvette convertible with the Blonde at the wheel.  Ray stands on the sidewalk with his arms crossed.

                                You can't talk to me that way.

                                I'll talk to you anyway I want to, bitch.

The Blonde puts the car in gear and screeches away.

                                                           (shakes his head)
                                Dames, sheesh!

Suddenly the end of Hank's baseball bat comes sailing out of the night sky.  It hits Ray right in the head.  WHACK!!

Ray flies against the side of a parked van, then slides to the ground knocked cold.


Hank stands over Comet who still remains upright on his knees.

Hank puts his finger on the back of Comet's head.

                                You're out.

Hank pushes with his finger.  Comet falls on his face, unconscious.

Nancy breathes a sigh of relief and smiles up at Hank.  Hank reaches down, takes her hand and helps her to her feet.

                                Thanks.  You saved my life.

                                We're even.  Now come on, let's go home.

Nancy shakes her head sadly.

                                That's not a good idea.  I won't be any good for
                                you.  I'm bad luck.

Hank grabs her shoulders firmly and gives her a shake.

                                Hey!  Knock it off!  You're the best thing that's
                                ever happened to me.  I'm not gonna to let you
                                walk out of my life again.  No way.

                                But you don't know anything about me.  You don't
                                know who I am.

Hank looks Nancy straight in the eye.

                                I don't care.

Nancy looks at him for a long moment, then suddenly hugs him and holds him tight.

Hank and Nancy kiss.  It's a fumbling awkward kiss and neither really knows what to do.

Comet suddenly groans loudly.  Hank and Nancy are both startled and gasp.  They look at Comet, then at each other.  Nancy takes Hank's hand and they run away up the alley.



The sun is just beginning to rise over downtown L.A.


The first rays of morning sunlight illuminate the nearly vacant street.  However, there are a few early morning pedestrians -- bag people, shopping cart people, various other lunatics, as well as...

Hank and Nancy walk hand in hand.  They are both smiling.  Hank's foil suit is in tatters.  He still carries the bat handle.  None of the other pedestrians even bother to look.

Nancy's still a little nervous and throws glances behind her occasionally.

                                By the way, my brother's getting married next


                                Would you like to go to the wedding with me?

                                Where is it?

                                In Michigan.

Hank lifts her hand, runs his finger along her palm and stops at her thumb.  They look at each other.

                                If we went, do you think it would be possible
                                to stop in Des Moines on the way there or
                                back?  I'd like to see my aunt and uncle.

                                Sure.  Absolutely.

They walk for a few steps, then a look of sadness suddenly crosses Hank's face.  Nancy sees the change.

                                What's wrong?

                                You'll stay there, won't you?  In Des Moines.
                                You won't come back with me.

                                                           (shakes her head)
                                I don't want to live there anymore.  I know that

Hank looks at her seriously.

                                But will you come back with me?

Nancy considers this for a moment.  They stroll along the street.  She finally looks Hank in the eye.

                                Let's see what happens after your brother's


Hank and Nancy turn a corner onto Hank's street.  Our view moves up past the street sign -- "HOPE STREET."

Our view continues moving up and up and up on the street and the pedestrians and the traffic and the buildings...


...Our view moves up and away from the tall buildings of downtown L.A. illuminated by the warm rays of morning light.  We move back and back and back...




...As the skyline of L.A. transforms into a multi-leveled wedding cake sitting against a deep blue sky.  Our view pulls back ...

...Past the fingers of a bass player plucking the strings of an electric bass.  As we keep moving back we see an eight piece band dressed in tuxedos playing on a bandstand at a wedding party.  It's a bright, sunny, midwestern day.

A black, MALE VOCALIST leans forward to a microphone and begins to sing Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell's "You're All I Need To Get By" (by Nicholas Ashford & Valerie Simpson).

                                                                 MALE VOCALIST
                                Like sweet mornin' dew/ I took one look at you/
                                And it was plain to see/ You were my destiny...

A black, FEMALE VOCALIST leans to the microphone and picks up the other half of the duet.

                                                                 FEMALE VOCALIST
                                With arms open wide/ I threw away my pride/
                                I'd sacrifice for you/ Dedicate my life to you...

As our view widens still further and we see a dance floor.  Men in suits and ties and women in party dresses are dancing.

At the center of the dance floor is a young man in a tux dancing with a pretty young woman in a white wedding dress.

Many people are standing around the dance floor watching, eating hors d'oeuvres and drinking.

We move through the crowd, past the happy party guests.  Finally, several people step out of the way to reveal Hank and Nancy.

Hank is wearing a suit and tie and Nancy is wearing a tight, sexy blue dress.  They are both smiling awkwardly and blinking kind of rapidly.  They watch the dancers glide past to the music.

Hank turns to Nancy.

                                Wanna dance?


He holds out his hand.

Nancy smiles and takes Hank's hand.  They move out onto the dance floor.

They take a few awkward steps and slowly begin to move together to the music.  They look into each other's eyes and smile.

Hank and Nancy begin to really twirl to the music and at an appropriate moment Hank smoothly dips Nancy back.

Our view tilts down to their feet.

Poking out the legs of Hank's pants are pieces of tin foil.  The foil crinkles as he dances.

Hank and Nancy's feet get lost among the other dancing feet.

Our view moves up taking in all of the dancers on the dance floor, the bandstand, and finally the entire party and the sunny backyard.

The end credits roll.



We move forward past the back of the Lulu's Lingerie billboard to Hank's apartment with the fan turning slowly in the window.  On the windowsill sits the healthy, flowering rhododendron in the Crock Pot.

                                                                                                       FADE OUT:

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