April 12, 2000
Well, I finally
caught "The Matrix" last night on cable (actually, itís now
satellite), and, as I suspected from the beginning, it was a big nothing.
Not only is it a stupid science fiction story, with (and I quote Leonard
Maltin) "a high Mumbo-Jumbo Quotient," but it goes on and
on and on, seemingly forever. Acts one and two were at least bearable,
but act three was complete pandering noisy shit of the worst Joel Silver
"Die Hard" variety.
Perhaps itís just me, but any vision of the future that still contains
gunpowder-driven, bullet-firing weapons is moronic (like, say, "Starship
Troopers"). Bruce Campbell, being overly nice, said that
he felt the filmmakers wanted to make a good movie, but that
it simply wasnít humanly possible working for Joel Silver. I personally
never got a sense of a good movie lurking anywhere in this picture.
Just so we can get
this out in the open, Keanu Reeves is a big bore! And why, may
I ask, when our heroes travel into the Matrix do they automatically
end up in sexy, fashionable black attire? Itís also particularly
bad storytelling technique to have to have a character that sits at
a mega-computer and has to talk the rest of the characters through their
adventures on a cell phone.
By the time the Wachowski
Bros. reach the end of this nonsense theyíre not even following their
own stupid rules anymore. Whether or not Neo is "the chosen
one," nothing has indicated in any way that heís immortal and wonít
die, yet he gets shot five or six times and it means nothing.
By this time, though, it has become so noisy and meaningless with all
the automatic weapon fire that plot considerations no longer mean very
In fact, the most interesting
aspects of this film for me by a long shot were that Anthony Ray Parker,
who portrayed the character Dozer, also played the Minotaur in the Hercules
TV movie I directed, and Julian (Sonny) Arahanga, who played the character
Apoc, was on the 2nd unit lighting crew when I was 2nd
unit director on the Hercules movies. And far more interesting
than anything in the film, Anthony Ray Parker, who lives in New Zealand,
and I are both from Michigan.