PATRICK
                                Perfect. Donny, this is Carl.  Carl, Donny.

Carl and Donny shake hands.  Carl obviously dislikes whatever is that is now on his hand, wiping it on his pants.

                                                                 DONNY
                                You don't suppose we could stop somewhere
                                for a second, huh?

                                                                 PATRICK
                                What?  You gotta take a leak?

                                                                 DONNY
                                No, I gotta make a stop.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                For what?

                                                                 DONNY
                                For none of your fuckin' business, that's for what.
                                It'll just take a second.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                                           (flatly)
                                No.  We can't.  We're on a tight schedule, okay?

Donny sits down on the cot.

                                                                 DONNY
                                Shit!

                                                                 CARL
                                Are you gonna be all right?

                                                                 DONNY
                                Yeah, I'll be fine.  Life's a cabaret.  Don't worry
                                about me.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                                           (selling)
                                Donny, baby!  This'll all be over in an hour, and
                                you'll be on your way with a pocket full of cash,
                                all right?  Be cool.

                                                                 DONNY
                                Fine, fine, fine.  Let's get going.

Donny leans his head back and shuts his eyes.  Carl looks at Patrick skeptically, nodding toward Donny.

                                                                 CARL
                                                           (quietly to Patrick)
                                He better not fuck this up.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                Yo, bro, trust me.  He'll be fine.

                                Carl nods skeptically.

The truck pulls over to where a short, chubby, bald man in his mid-forties stands holding a suitcase.  He is BUZZ.  Carl shakes Buzz's hand, then gives Buzz his seat.  Carl gets in back with Donny, kneeling between the two front seats.

                                                                 BUZZ
                                Hey, buddy.  Welcome out.

                                                                 CARL
                                It's good to be out.

Buzz and Patrick nod to each other.  Buzz glances at Donny who looks away.

                                                                 BUZZ
                                Who's he?

                                                                 CARL
                                The driver.

                                                                 BUZZ
                                Huh.
                                                           (grins)
                                Burning the Warden, what a great idea, Carl.  I'm sorry
                                I didn't come up with it during my eight years.  The
                                guy's such a pompous prick it'll serve him right.

                                                                 CARL
                                                           (grins)
                                Yeah.  How many fish ya figure he's hooked in his
                                office there.

Buzz and Carl crack up.  Patrick and Donny don't get it.

                                                                 CARL
                                Anyway, it came to me when I folded my ten millionth
                                towel.  Warden Walton makes a fortune off the prison
                                laundry, using the prisoners as slave labor.
                                                           (to Patrick)
                                We do the laundry for twenty-five local dry cleaners,
                                who all pay way below union minimum to have the
                                prisoners do the work.  What a scam!

Buzz and Carl chuckle.

                                                                 BUZZ
                                A quarter of million dollars in unmarked, untraceable
                                cash?  Small bills.  Wow!

                                                                 PATRICK
                                You sure?

                                                                 CARL
                                Sure I'm sure.
                                                           (to Buzz)
                                It's there, ain't it?

                                                                 BUZZ
                                Oh, yeah, it's there.  Everybody that's inside knows
                                about it.  They move it in laundry bags.  It's all in
                                fifty and hundred dollar bills.

                                                                 CARL
                                That money gets dropped off in exactly twelve
                                minutes.  And it won't be picked up for twenty
                                more minutes after that, the time it takes for the
                                Warden to drive over from the prison with two
                                prison guards.  We're gonna let 'em drop the
                                money off, then we're gonna walk right in there
                                and take it.  Donny'll be waitin' for us in the alley
                                at the back door -- with the engine running.  Buzz'll
                                crack the safe, Patrick and me'll make sure everyone
                                stays nice and quiet while all this happens.  No-
                                body'll get hurt and we'll waltz outta there with a
                                quarter of a million in unmarked bills.  Simple.
                                Actually, I think it's elegant in its simplicity.  So,
                                let's get movin'.

Patrick puts his hand on Carl's shoulder.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                We're right on schedule, pal, don't sweat it.  The
                                "dynamic duo" has returned!  Together we're
                                unstoppable.

At that very moment the right front tire blows out.  The truck swerves, Patrick veering over to the shoulder.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                What the hell!?

                                                                 DONNY
                                                           (snidely)
                                What were you just sayin' about bein' "unstoppable?"

Carl looks at his watch worriedly.

                                                                 CARL
                                Shit!  We've only got eleven minutes.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                Plenty o' time.  I'll fix it like I'm on a pit crew.
                                We'll be outta here in two minutes.

They all head out of the truck.

10 EXT. SIDE OF ROAD -- DAY 10

Everybody climbs out of the truck, steps up to the right front tire and inspects the damage.  Carl looks the whole truck over as Patrick retrieves the jack and spare.

                                                                 CARL
                                What is this thing?  I thought you were gonna rent
                                a new one?

Patrick begins to set up the jack.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                No, you said I should go rent a new one, but I don't
                                have a credit card, and without a credit card you
                                can't rent a truck.

                                                                 CARL
                                So where'd you get this?

                                                                 PATRICK
                                I borrowed it.

                                                                 CARL
                                What does that mean?

                                                                 PATRICK
                                It means I borrowed it.

                                                                 CARL
                                You didn't steal it?

                                                                 PATRICK
                                No.

                                                                 CARL
                                You hangin' out with gypsy knife sharpeners these
                                days?

                                                                 PATRICK
                                Hey!  Lay off.

Carl looks a his watch.

                                                                 CARL
                                Nine and a half minutes.

                                                                 BUZZ
                                We gonna make it?

                                                                 CARL
                                We'll see . . .

Donny heads back into the truck and curls up into a ball.  Carl and Buzz wander around the incapacitated truck while talking.

                                                                 BUZZ
                                So what did you say to the Warden when you
                                left?

                                                                 CARL
                                What'dya mean?

                                                                 BUZZ
                                Ya know, when he asked what you're gonna do
                                with your future and that shit.  What did you say?

                                                                 CARL
                                                           (grins)
                                Oh.  I told him I was goin' into the laundry business.

                                                                 BUZZ
                                                           (amazed)
                                You didn't?

                                                                 CARL
                                I did.  I told him I'd be a success at it, too.  He
                                wished me all the luck in the world and gave me
                                a box of cigars.

Both Buzz and Carl start to laugh.  Patrick has the truck jacked-up, and is quickly twisting off the bolts.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                I should work at the damn Indy 500, man.  Look
                                at this, almost done.

                                                                 CARL
                                Eight and half minutes.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                With time to spare . . . get it?

Everyone gets it.  Patrick puts on the spare, also bald, and spins on the bolts.  He gives each of them a quick tightening with the lug wrench, then jumps to his feet.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                Done.  Let's go.

They all climb back into the truck.

11 INT. FRONT OF TRUCK -- DAY 11

Everyone resumes their seats.  Patrick puts the key into the ignition, turns it, the starter makes a horrible, strained noise, then starts to click.  Everyone looks at Patrick, who grins and tries it again.  This time it starts.  He puts it in gear and drives away.

                                                                 CARL
                                Eight minutes.

They drive along in silence for a minute, then . . .

                                                                 CARL
                                OK, let's synchronize our watches.

Everybody reveals their watches but Donny.

                                                                 DONNY
                                I don't have a watch.

                                                                 CARL
                                What'dya mean?  How can you go on a job without
                                a watch?

                                                                 DONNY
                                Hey!  Fuck you!  I used to have a gorgeous Rolex,
                                okay?  I had to pawn it.

                                                                 CARL
                                                           (sighs)
                                All right, okay.  Buzz, you won't need one, give
                                him yours.

                                                                 BUZZ
                                                           (taken aback)
                                Hey, my wife gave me this watch for my birth-
                                day!

                                                                 CARL
                                You'll get it back afterward.

                                                                 BUZZ
                                Well . . .

Buzz reluctantly hands his watch to Donny who takes it in a trembling hand.  He tries to put it on, but is shaking too much.  Carl looks at Patrick.

                                                                 DONNY
                                I'm fine.  Not a problem.

12 EXT. UNITED LAUNDRY BUILDING -- DAY 12

They arrive at a gray, nondescript building with a sign saying, "United Laundry Systems."  They park the truck around the corner where they can keep an eye on the building.

Carl pulls the stem on his watch.

                                                                 CARL
                                Okay, it's one twenty-five exactly.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                Mark.

                                                                 DONNY
                                Oh, shit.  It's digital and I went past it.  Now I've
                                got to go all the way around.  Hold on.

Donny holds in the button on the watch, rolling his eyes at how slow it's going.  He finally looks up at Carl.

                                                                 CARL
                                Ready?
                                                           (Donny nods)
                                Okay, one twenty-six.  Mark.

                                                                 DONNY
                                Aw, shit, this is A.M.  Hold on.

Donny pushes in the button and everyone waits.  Suddenly, Carl's had it.  He throws up his hands in exasperation.

                                                                 CARL
                                Patrick, can I talk to you for a second?

                                                                 PATRICK
                                What?

Carl points his thumb out the window.

                                                                 CARL
                                Outside.

Carl opens the door and gets out.  Patrick shrugs, opens his door and follows.  Donny calls after them . . .

                                                                 DONNY
                                Hey!  I just about got it.

13 EXT. BACK OF TRUCK -- DAY 13

Carl and Patrick meet up at the back of the truck.  Carl looks furious and grabs Patrick's shoulder.

                                                                 CARL
                                I'm not goin' through with this.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                                           (shocked)
                                What?  You've got to.  We're here.

                                                                 CARL
                                                           (shakes his head)
                                So-fucking-what!  My simple and elegant plan's
                                turned to shit right in front of my eyes.  This truck's
                                a total piece of crap and Donny's a strung-out junkie!
                                I say we just drop it and come back in three months.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                They could change the whole damn thing in three
                                months and you wouldn't know 'cause you're not in.
                                All your information's brand-new and up to date.

                                                                 CARL
                                Too bad.  Then the hell with the whole damn thing,
                                we just won't do it.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                Wait a minute.  This is a quarter of a million bucks
                                we're talkin' about here.  Unmarked, untraceable.
                                That'll be ours in the next couple of minutes.  So the
                                truck's a piece of crap; it got us here.  And Donny's a
                                junkie; but all he has to do is sit in the truck.  It may
                                not be workin' perfect, but it's workin' well enough.
                                Carl.  Buddy . . .

                                                                 CARL
                                Patrick.  Don't.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                                           (grins; selling)
                                It's me, man. Patrick; your best friend.  Nobody
                                knows you like I do.  I love you, man.  This'll all
                                work out.  Take my word for it.  God's lookin' down
                                on us.  This is our big moment, man!  We gotta go
                                for it.  Right now.  It'll work.  I swear!

                                                                 CARL
                                Well . . .

                                                                 PATRICK
                                Come on.  The money's ours, we just gotta take
                                it.  A quarter of million bucks.  Carl, it's now or
                                never!

Carl sees Patrick's logic.  He nods.

                                                                 CARL
                                Right.

Patrick slaps Carl's shoulder.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                Goddamn right it's right!

Carl and Patrick both go around and get back in the truck.

14 INT. TRUCK -- DAY 14

Carl and Patrick get in.  Carl turns to the others.

                                                                 CARL
                                                           (looks at all three)
                                All right.  Are we clear on the plan?
                                                           (everyone nods)
                                Right.  And no shooting.

                                                                 BUZZ
                                                           (waves his hand)
                                This won't be a big deal.  It's an easy safe.

                                                                 CARL
                                Really?  How come?

                                                                 BUZZ
                                Well, a Universal 1205 is an old-fashioned model,
                                it's got a handle.  If you push down on the handle
                                while turning the combination wheel you can hear
                                the bolt drop into the notch on the disk.  You gotta
                                know what to listen for, but once you do, it's a breeze.
                                I buy locks, take 'em apart and study 'em in my spare
                                time.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                They let you do that in the joint?

                                                                 BUZZ
                                No, but I did anyway.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                Wouldn't it be faster to just blow the safe?

                                                                 BUZZ
                                Actually, no.  Blowing a safe is quite a complicated
                                process, and a noisy one, too.  I can pick this model
                                way faster than blowing it.

They see a black Lincoln pull up in front of the building.  Two men in dark suits get out of the car carrying large white laundry bags.  They open the front door of the building and head inside.  There is a protracted pause, then both men return empty-handed, get in the Lincoln and drive away.  Carl looks at the others.

                                                                 CARL
                                That's us.  Remember, twenty minutes and out!
                                Let's do it!

END ACT ONE

ACT TWO:

15 EXT. TRUCK -- DAY 15

The back door of the truck opens.  Our guys have stockings pulled over their heads and their guns drawn as they step out of the truck.  Immediately, Buzz falls down and something in his pocket crunches.

                                                                 BUZZ
                                Shit!

Buzz reaches into his pocket and reveals his busted eye glasses.

                                                                 BUZZ
                                Ooops!

Carl watches Donny shakily climb into the driver's seat.  Carl points over his shoulder.

                                                                 CARL
                                Pull around to the back door.  Over there in the
                                alley.

                                                                 DONNY
                                I know, I know.

                                                                 CARL
                                You okay?

Donny shrugs, smiling wanly.

                                                                 DONNY
                                I'm fine.  Not a problem.  Just don't make me
                                wait, all right?

The other three nod.  Carl checks his watch.

                                                                 CARL
                                Come on, we've got nineteen minutes left.
                                Let's move!

They hustle toward the building.

16 INT. UNITED LAUNDRY -- DAY 16

Patrick, Carl, and Buzz burst through the front door of United Laundry.  Patrick aims his pistol at the dark-haired, big-eyed, RECEPTIONIST and states emphatically:

                                                                 PATRICK
                                Move and you die!

The Receptionist freezes.

                                                                 RECEPTIONIST
                                Please don't kill me, I'm just a temp.  I don't
                                even work here.

                                                                 CARL
                                Do as you're told and we won't kill anyone.

Carl grabs the Receptionist and pushes her toward the door to the inner office, Buzz following along with his suitcase.  Patrick dashes up the hallway with his pistol out in front.

17 INT. MR. MUELLER'S OFFICE - DAY 17

Within the inner office they find a heavy-set, middle-aged man seated behind a desk drinking a can of Slim-Fast diet milkshake and wincing.  He is MR. MUELLER, Executive Director of United Laundry Systems, which it states on a plaque before him.  Mr. Mueller's hand starts into the desk drawer.  Carl cocks the .38 and levels it at him.

                                                                 CARL
                                Don't even think about it!

Mr. Mueller freezes.  Carl takes a .25 caliber automatic pistol out of the desk drawer.  Carl puts the pistol in his jacket pocket.

Buzz heads directly toward a door, ostensibly a closet.  Mr. Mueller sees this and gasps.

                                                                 MR. MUELLER
                                Fellas, please, you don't know who you're messing
                                around with here.

                                                                 CARL
                                Oh, really?  Who?

                                                                 MR. MUELLER
                                                           (sincerely)
                                Take my word for it, you don't wanna know.

                                                                 CARL
                                You're right, so just shut up!
                                                           (to Buzz)
                                I'll get Mr. Mueller here to unlock the door for
                                you.

Buzz has inserted a dentist's tool in the lock, which at that moment clicks.

                                                                 BUZZ
                                Keys are for fags.

Buzz grins, opening the door revealing a safe -- without a handle; it has a spoked crank.  Buzz's grin dissolves into an ugly expression.

                                                                 BUZZ
                                Hey!  You said this was a Universal 1205.  It's really
                                a 1405.

                                                                 CARL
                                What does that mean?

                                                                 BUZZ
                                                           (shrugs)
                                It's gonna take longer, that's what it means.  I've
                                been practicing with a 1205, and this doesn't have
                                a Goddamn handle!

Carl looks at his watch.

                                                                 CARL
                                Well, you've got eighteen minutes, that's it.

                                                                 RECEPTIONIST
                                Couldn't you just let me go?  I don't have any-
                                thing to do with any of this.

                                                                 CARL
                                                           (to Receptionist)
                                Please, don't talk.
                                                           (to Buzz)
                                Will eighteen minutes do?

                                                                 BUZZ
                                I'll let you know.

Patrick enters the room pushing a gray-haired, sixty year old SECURITY GUARD ahead of him.

                                                                 SECURITY GUARD
                                For God's sake, stop pushin'.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                Can it, old man!

Carl steps up to Patrick, pulling him off to one side, next to a dusty, broken Excer-cycle.

                                                                 CARL
                                                           (flatly)
                                It's a different safe than what you said.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                So, what does that mean?

                                                                 CARL
                                It means it's gonna take more time, which we
                                don't have.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                                           (turns to Buzz)
                                Well, go faster.

                                                                 BUZZ
                                Hey!  Don't tell me what to do!  This ain't my
                                mistake.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                Well, it ain't mine!

                                                                 CARL
                                                           (to Patrick)
                                Just shut up already!

                                                                 PATRICK
                                                           (taking offense)
                                What're you sayin'?

                                                                 CARL
                                I'm sayin', this is absolutely your fault!

Patrick is offended, his head going back, his chest puffing out.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                Hey, best friend, I don't like your tone.

Buzz, meanwhile, takes out his glasses and, of course, they're busted.  He picks out a large hunk of lens and holds it up to his eye.  He puts a stethoscope in his ears, places the end on the safe and begins to pick the lock.

Carl glares at Patrick, pulling him off to one side and whispering to him.

                                                                 CARL
                                Don't "Best Friend" me!  You were supposed to
                                scope this place out?  What happened?

                                                                 PATRICK
                                I paid a guy to do it, okay?  He fucked up.
                                                           (to Buzz)
                                So, can you get it open, or what?

                                                                 BUZZ
                                I don't know.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                                           (to Buzz; snotty)
                                I thought you could pick any safe?

                                                                 BUZZ
                                If you'd shut-up.

Carl continues to whisper angrily.

                                                                 CARL
                                You paid a guy to scope this place out?

                                                                 PATRICK
                                Yeah.  What of it?

Carl shakes his head disgustedly.

                                                                 CARL
                                That just means someone else knows about
                                our plan.  Weren't we gonna keep it quiet?

                                                                 PATRICK
                                I did.  Lighten up.

Carl goes to the window and nothing's stirring.  There's the truck around the corner.  Carl looks at his watch.  He steps back over to Patrick.

                                                                 CARL
                                Sixteen minutes.  No you didn't.  Don't say ya
                                did when you didn't, that's bullshit.

Buzz turns the combination dial, listening intently.  Buzz nods.

                                                                 BUZZ
                                I think I can get it open, but I have no idea how
                                long it'll take.  Lining up each disk takes it's own
                                amount of time.

                                                                 CARL
                                How much time?

                                                                 BUZZ
                                How should I know, I don't even have a fuckin'
                                watch.  I'd've been well on the way to having a
                                1205 open by now.

Patrick and Carl tie up their three prisoners.  Mr. Mueller shakes his head.

                                                                 MR. MUELLER
                                You're not gonna make it.  You're gonna have
                                armed prison guards crawling all over your ass
                                any second.
                                                                 CARL
                                                           (shakes his head)
                                Not any second, fifteen minutes.

                                                                 BUZZ
                                I don't think I can make it in fifteen minutes.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                Oh, yes you will!

Patrick swings his pistol around and aims it at Buzz.  Buzz shakes his head.

                                                                 BUZZ
                                Threatening me won't get his Universal 1405
                                open any faster, asshole!

                                                                 PATRICK
                                                           (pissed)
                                All right!  Fine!  Just lay off me, okay!

Carl steps between them, pulling Patrick over to the side.  Carl points in Patrick's face.

                                                                 CARL
                                No, you lay off!  We wouldn't be going through
                                this shit if you'd've scoped this place out yourself
                                like you said you would.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                                           (rolls his eyes)
                                You still buggin' me about that?

                                                                 CARL
                                What is it? Ancient history now?  So far you've
                                screwed up your whole end of this deal!

                                                                 PATRICK
                                                           (angry)
                                Hey!  Fuck you!  What happened to you in prison
                                there?  You go and lose your faith?

                                                                 CARL
                                Hey!  Shit-for-brains, I didn't join a new religion,
                                I planned a perfectly good heist that's suddenly
                                going all wrong 'cause of you!  And it pisses me off!

                                                                 PATRICK
                                Yeah, well you're startin' to piss me off, so just cool
                                out, all right?  We'll be fine.  Trust me.

Carl's had it.  He looks to heaven shaking his aching head.

                                                                 CARL
                                Are you kidding me?  Why do you keep saying
                                that?

                                                                 PATRICK
                                What?  Can't you trust me anymore?

                                                                 CARL
                                Anymore?

Patrick finally takes true umbrage.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                You sayin' you never trusted me?

                                                                 CARL
                                Look, you're my pal, but don't push this.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                Are you sayin' you never trusted me?  I wanna
                                know.

                                                                 CARL
                                This ain't the time.

                                                                 PATRICK
                                I say it is.